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Roar, I Guess…

November 29th, 2007 by Mike Nelson · 5 Comments

856185 LMore Christmas gift ideas from the RiffTrax Blog: The FAO Schwarz website features a make-your-own monster kit. The kid in the picture gave it a shot.

“Nice job, Bobby. Really good. Can mommy just smooth out the – ”

“NO! My monster!”

“Of course it is, sweetie, and it’ll be that much better once mommy – ”

“NNNOOO! Miiii-iiine!”

“Yes, it is yours. Can you give mommy the green crayon – ”


“But, Bobby, honey, it’s really, really… just an awful monster. You can’t even make out what it’s supposed to be. The people at FAO Schwarz will laugh at you, honey, as will all the people in China who have to try to make sense of the design. It’s really, really bad. Even a year from now you’re likely to say, ‘God in heaven, mom, why did you send that in?’ Please, Bobby, it’s your self esteem that I’m trying to protect here.”

“[Five minutes of screaming]“

Tags: RiffTrax

5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Eddie Colton on Nov 29, 2007 at 7:05 pm

    Haha, fantastic. Ever wish your childhood drawings could NEVER be crumpled up and tossed in the waste basket? Well, for only $249, your wish can come true! FAO Schwartz will send you a huggable, physics-defying “two-dimensional” plush item. Aw heck, we’ll even throw in the third dimension for free. (Actual third dimension may vary.) Best of all, FAO Schwartz never has to come up with another idea, ever! We can even SELL your monster, because you aren’t old enough to know what residuals are. C’mon kids, BEG your parents for this! After all, they say you draw really “good,” much in the same way they say they “love” you.

  • 2 Tim on Nov 29, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    They went with the “Make Your Own Monster” marketing title after the “Build Your Own Source of Future Self-Esteem Destruction” tested poorly in the focus group stage.

  • 3 Brain Blog Round-up: Inaugural Edition « deep ape on Dec 4, 2007 at 11:24 am

    [...] More Christmas Gift Ideas! (Don’t Say No Right Away) Martha, Get the Shot Gun! MY PICK Roar, I Guess… Meet Me in St. Louis, Louis Any “Last Requests”? Don’t Give Me Your [...]

  • 4 Prydonian on Dec 6, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    Oh yes, by al means, let’s further explore the fine line that separates “observational wit” from “being generally cynical and mean to children.” ;)

  • 5 Prydonian on Dec 6, 2007 at 9:05 pm

    Um, yes. By Al means. Y’know, Al. He has means. Oh, the means Al has! That Al… hoo boy… means.