More Christmas gift ideas from the RiffTrax Blog: The FAO Schwarz website features a make-your-own monster kit. The kid in the picture gave it a shot.
“Nice job, Bobby. Really good. Can mommy just smooth out the – ”
“NO! My monster!”
“Of course it is, sweetie, and it’ll be that much better once mommy – ”
“Yes, it is yours. Can you give mommy the green crayon – ”
“But, Bobby, honey, it’s really, really… just an awful monster. You can’t even make out what it’s supposed to be. The people at FAO Schwarz will laugh at you, honey, as will all the people in China who have to try to make sense of the design. It’s really, really bad. Even a year from now you’re likely to say, ‘God in heaven, mom, why did you send that in?’ Please, Bobby, it’s your self esteem that I’m trying to protect here.”
“[Five minutes of screaming]”