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Any “Last Requests”?

November 30th, 2007 by Mike Nelson · 10 Comments

3 1 2 It was only today that I learned of the existence of this chap, name of Paolo Nutini, and it served to remind me – there are so many people I have on my to-do list to hit! Paolo jumps to the top….
crispin glover 1 2 But I’m decades overdue on my promise to myself to hit Crispin Glover, sharply…
louis And if I devote time to that, how will I ever get around to hitting this guy, some male model named “Louis”, what with my busy schedule?
oberst And the urgency to hit Bright Eyes is now more keenly felt than ever! Help! Who to hit first?!

Tags: RiffTrax

10 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Tim on Nov 30, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    With several of them, you’d be obligated to hit their hair first, before moving on to their faces.

    As a personal request, when you make it to Bright Eyes, I ask that you hold a padlock in your hand, with your middle finger threaded through the steel shackle, providing maximum impact.

  • 2 Libby on Nov 30, 2007 at 5:55 pm

    Please. Bright Eyes first. Aim for his eyes, in fact.

    Oh, and kindly add Avril Lavigne to your list. Or is she on the “hit with a 2×4 with nail hammered in end” list?

  • 3 Eddie Colton on Nov 30, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Bright Eyes? Why not just hit Jarvis Cocker and wait for the trickle-down effect?

  • 4 Courtney on Dec 1, 2007 at 9:15 am

    Crispin Glover is in Chicago right now. Come here and help me hit him. He’s here promoting his new film about a parapalegic who molests women. Charming.

  • 5 Courtney on Dec 1, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    Okay, he’s also here with an additional film, described as:

    “Crispin Hellion Glover explains the plot of his film: Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are snails, salt, a pipe, and how to get home, as tormented by a hubristic fascist inner psyche.”

    Okay you know what? Fuck you, Crispin Glover. But I still love Back to the Future.

  • 6 torgosPizza on Dec 2, 2007 at 12:06 am

    Wait wait wait. Crisping HELLION Glover? Why didn’t I know this? This explains EVERYTHING!

  • 7 Tim on Dec 2, 2007 at 2:53 am

    Hellion or not, it does nothing to explain his hair or that fur coat he’s wearing in that picture, short of indicating he’s auditioning for the role of Janis Joplin in an upcoming biopic.

  • 8 Kete on Dec 4, 2007 at 7:00 am

    I saw Paolo Nutella (it is Nutella, right?) at the Voodoo fest in New Orleans. He was hunched over, and sang about shoes (I think he was saying “shoes”). I thought that he was at least mid thirties because of how haggard he looked. I couldn’t believe it when I found out he was only 20. I guess all that partying not only makes his voice sound weird, but makes him age 15 years.

  • 9 Edgewriter on Dec 7, 2007 at 9:39 am

    This reminds me of my one run in with the lovely Crispin Glover. I sold him some tires once over the phone. He called back and wanted to return them.

    The whole situation was caused by Crispin’s intrinsic lack of focus and tendancy to lapse into unreality. (Perhaps he was juggling rats at the time, I’m not sure.) Or he simply forgot what he had ordered.

    Anyhoo, being on the east coast at the time, I called him at 7:30 AM pacific time and woke him up. When I told him that he would have to pay shipping to return the tires. He proceded to howl and screech at me angrily at the injustice of being woken at such an ungodly hour for the purpose of telling him that he was paying shipping.

    A year later Crispin called again. I instantly recognized his name. Fortunately he did not remember me, for he was actually kind of pleasant.

    That night I sat back and watched the disaster film “Charlies Angels.” At the end of the movie, the credits rolled and I saw his name pop up.

    The truth is that until that moment, I had not knows that the Crispin Glover I had talked to on the phone was the Guy from Back to the Future. It all came to me suddenly. The voice, the squeal, the california location. It was him. I had been yelled at by George Mcfly. I said “Ahah!” loud enough that my wife (who had probably fallen asleep during the film) jumped about a foot in the air.

    I still to this day regret the lost opportunity to tell him “Think McFly, Think!”

  • 10 Glenn E. on Dec 7, 2007 at 9:22 pm

    What is this, a “Fight Club” blog? I’m opposed to doing any real violence. Or even speculating on much mock violence. However I’m not opposed to a bit of Cream Pie throwing. Maybe a cream pie (shaving cream) the size of a kiddie pool. If the could design a Super Soaker gun that delivered whipped cream, instead of water. There definately would be hell to pay. I’m not currently angry with Glover. He’s just a little annoying to me. I’d much rather see Tom Cruise and Will Smith get the cream pie in the face, treatment. Tom should get a double, for ruining my favorite old Tv show, by taking its name to use for three awful movies (Mission Impossible). And Will Smith, for denying his association with you-know-what church. While all along, taking Cruise’s cast off roles. And now dumping on Christmas, with his latest interview. All of which was probably scripted for him to say, because it was far too subtle to be a spontaneous remark. So I guess he’s a robot for Hubbardism. I’m glad I never spent a dime seeing any of his movies. Cream pies for them both, and Travola too, for ruining “Hairspray”. Do they all have to have a movie coming out for Christmas? Jason Lee too?