On those rare occasions when I’m not listening to the music of Douglas Spotted Owl, I enjoy reading the magazine “for women 40+”, More*. The world view of More is tough to nail down, but it seems to be saying that all women are fabulous so long as they are wealthy, old school feminists who run their own businesses. If you’re not, you’re a worthless piece of crap - but you’re still fabulous (just get that business up and running.)
One thing that comes through loud and clear, once you hit the age of 40 you are sexier than ever. Got that? You are sexier than EVER! That time when you were 21, tan, and thought you were looking pretty good in that white bikini? Well, you didn’t. You were about as sexy as a concrete bridge abutment compared to the yummy Betty White. When you were 25 and on your honeymoon cruise and you wore your little black dress? Frankly, yuck. Give me the very sexy (at 114, sexier than ever) Edna Parker!
I am pleased to learn that these women are sexier than EVER, because that increases the number of sexy people around me as I go through my day, and I want to live as sexy a life as is possible.
*Both my sons are required by various institutions to peddle magazines to friends and family. I subscribe to roughly 18,000 periodicals, and some of them are necessarily a little out of my wheelhouse. As just one example, I subscribe to Chile Pepper monthly.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Courtney on Dec 10, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Betty White? One word: hot. But she’s no Gloria Stewart. That’s a smokin’ broad right there. Stone fox.
*sigh* I can’t wait till I’m old enough to be hot and sessy too. For now I’m basically disgusting. If 40 is the new 20, then I believe women in their mid-20s might as well be dudes. *double sigh* Some day…
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2 Iris on Dec 10, 2007 at 2:28 pm
“…it seems to be saying that all women are fabulous so long as they are wealthy, old school feminists who run their own businesses”
Lol, you are so right about that! Does this hold true for older men? If so, then I think Columbo is the sexiest man on the planet!
Iris
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3 Bill Corbett on Dec 10, 2007 at 4:11 pm
“You were about as sexy as a concrete bridge abutment compared to the yummy Betty White. “
A… concrete bridge abutment, you say, Mike?
Um.
(Runs off to take cold shower.)
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4 Gordon on Dec 10, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Yeah, OK, but you know who is the epitome of sexy?
Jack ******* Klugman, that’s who.
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5 Tim on Dec 10, 2007 at 10:18 pm
That asterisk saved you a lot of grief, Mike.
Before you helpfully explained your reasoning for reading More, I had already made a few phone calls and was on my way to your place with a team of white-clad mental health professionals. While one of them was filling a syringe with a sedative, I was able to finish reading your post, and you were saved the indignity of being committed.
Close one, Mike. Close one.
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