Seriously.
“Itchy.” Did they want to imply a severe allergy? A crippling skin condition? And how was it related to his protruded, ever-rotating, hideous jaw? Did they want us to ponder this?
“Lumpy.” What lumps are we talking about here? Just his outward, fur-coated lumpiness, or… were there hidden lumps, bad lumps, lumps that should NOT be on his (ugh) body?
Why did they want us to cogitate over such matters?
Nomenclature: it matters.
(And while we’re at it… “Chewy,” in what sense?)
34 responses so far ↓
1 John on Dec 11, 2007 at 12:07 am
Were Itchy & Art Carney seperated at birth? Watch this program and tell me they don’t look alike… I dare you.
Lumpy?! Well the fat kid from Leave it to Beaver had to get work some where, why not on an incredibly bad Christmas special!
2 Tim on Dec 11, 2007 at 12:23 am
Imagine the Wookie homeworld. The disposal of discarded hair and dander must be a trillion-dollar-per-year industry, minimum.
Itchy, Lumpy, Chewy…fine, I guess. I’m just hoping we never get to see “Greasy”. Or “Ringwormy”.
3 Courtney on Dec 11, 2007 at 2:29 am
I’d like to take this moment and present a theory: Look at Lumpy. Then look at present-day popstar Fergie. Then consider her song wherein she discusses her “lovely lady lumps.” Are you with me yet?
Singer Fergie is a shaved Lumpy.
I defy you to dispute me. This a serious discovery in the vein of Watergate and I fully expect a van full of the other Black Eyed Peas to show up at my door to work me over. But I had to share my knowledge. You’re welcome.
4 Tim on Dec 11, 2007 at 3:17 am
I thought I was the only one who was on the look-out for a Black Eyed Peas-filled van. The tall, long-haired, androgynous one in particular haunts my nightmares all too frequently.
5 Bill Corbett on Dec 11, 2007 at 5:38 am
An alarming theory. But quite viable.
6 Bill Corbett on Dec 11, 2007 at 5:40 am
And don’t forget their pals…
Scabby
Leaky
Moldy
Stinky
and
Jonathan. (His parents were into weird names.)
7 Edgewriter on Dec 11, 2007 at 9:20 am
So if Chewie is short for Chewbacca, might Lumpy be short for Lumpacca? Or is Itchy short for Itchacca? Ir ItchtItchtyPtangwoompow?
By the way, who was the Makeup artist that did Hamil’s face? Eww.
8 Bill Corbett on Dec 11, 2007 at 10:12 am
“By the way, who was the Makeup artist that did Hamil’s face? Eww.”
They hired Tammy Faye Baker’s* people.
(*RIP)
9 Adam on Dec 11, 2007 at 10:48 am
Actually, I bet “Ringwormy” would have it easy. I don’t think anyone would take the trouble of using his full, syllable-heavy and slightly awkward name, so they’d probably just call him “Ringy” and everyone would just assume he was either a jeweler or really good at horseshoes.
Actually, wouldn’t it at least sound like everyone on the Wookie homeworld was just named some variation of growling noises? Or is that space racist? (…spacist?)
10 Merat on Dec 11, 2007 at 10:52 am
*Sigh* Because I am a geek and a librarian, I must answer this.
Chewie is short for Chewbacca.
Lumpy is short for Lumpawarrump, who later took the name Lumpawaroo when he became an adult.
Itchy is short for Attichitcuk.
Malla is short for Mallatobuck.
11 Merat on Dec 11, 2007 at 10:53 am
Oh, incidentally, that wasn’t from memory. I knew they were short for something like that so I looked it up.
12 MB on Dec 11, 2007 at 12:38 pm
“Lumpy is short for Lumpawarrump, who later took the name Lumpawaroo when he became an adult.”
Oh, so Lumpy is the *dignified* version of the name. I get it now!
13 Merat on Dec 11, 2007 at 2:03 pm
They are 7+ foot tall predators with an apparent habit of tearing people’s arms off for slight offenses. Who would tell them they have stupid names?
14 Bill Corbett on Dec 11, 2007 at 2:43 pm
““Lumpy is short for Lumpawarrump, who later took the name Lumpawaroo when he became an adult.”
He later “took the name” for professional reasons, I assume. No one wants a corporate lawyer named Lumpawarrump. That’s absurd.
“Lumparawaroo?” Send that fine gentleman right in!
15 Meredith on Dec 11, 2007 at 4:14 pm
Does the same source that gives their full names explain why wookies–who can only speak in those growl-noises–would have these kinds of names? They can’t even pronounce Lumpy or Itchy, or Lumpawaroo. How do name you can’t pronounce work?
16 Merat on Dec 11, 2007 at 6:59 pm
You have to admit, the law firm of Lumparawaroo, Attichitcuk, and Lowbacca would be fun to watch. Wookiees in suits, ties, and small reading glasses is an… interesting image.
17 Merat on Dec 11, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Actually, I can see it now. “Law and Order: Special Primates Unit”
We open on a tree house on Kashyyk, a Wookiee is lying a pool of blood in the middle of the dark room. Another Wookiee walks in carrying the groceries (blue milk, bantha steak, and, of course, Wookiee-ookies). The new Wookiee sees the dead Wookiee and lets out a plaintive yowl.
*Chunk Chunk sound that’s not at all overused at this point*
Voice Over: “In the Imperial justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the stormtroopers, who shoot alien scum. These are their stories. “
18 Bill Corbett on Dec 11, 2007 at 7:19 pm
Well, Vincent D’Onofrio would make an excellent Wookie.
19 Merat on Dec 11, 2007 at 8:22 pm
But what would his Wookiee name be? Scowly? Frowny? Stubbly?
And why do all the Wookiees sound like they should be hanging out with Snow White and singing the Hi-Ho song?
20 Raistlan on Dec 11, 2007 at 11:40 pm
3 words. Once I heard them, it all became clear:
Pants crappingly insane.
21 Spice Weasel on Dec 11, 2007 at 11:50 pm
Lumpawaroo sounds like Australian place name to me.
The real question is, since somebody bothered to work up backstories for all these characters, does that means the events of the Holiday Special are Star Wars canon? And if so, how does Jefferson Starship fit into it?
22 Spice Weasel on Dec 11, 2007 at 11:52 pm
I’m just trying to picture the CBS network exec meeting when they brainstormed this special.
“Kids like Star Wars, right? How about we get Harvey Korman?”
23 Merat on Dec 12, 2007 at 6:32 am
With a very large mallet.
24 Merat on Dec 12, 2007 at 6:35 am
Actually, Chewie’s family has been in several books, so, yeah. They are cannon.
25 Bill Corbett on Dec 12, 2007 at 12:30 pm
“Actually, Chewie’s family has been in several books, so, yeah. They are cannon.“
…fodder.
26 Merat on Dec 12, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Luke I am your…..
27 QuackersnCheese on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:33 am
Holy crap!!! I just thought of something what if these short name’s are there only as a courtesy for none Wookie’s. So then do they have nick name’s? If so what would Chewy’s be? Perhaps ” Chew, Achew, Beef Chew, Chewby Dooby Doo ” the list is endless I guess. Oh and is it quencidence or did the Bigfoot sighting’s begin to peek around the time this TV Special was aired?
28 QuackersnCheese on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:48 am
No, see CBS, or as it is better known the Canadian Broadcasting System, were all enraged that Star War’s beat out Star Trek in the rating’s. As any good military strategist know’s you must get the enemy to believe your helping them then you squash them to bits. Now why did CBS care so much well they planned to bring back Star Trek but they didn’t have the right’s to Wookie’s so that idea was out. The solution was simple make poor George think it would be a good idea to promote Star Wars only to destroy his precious Wookie empire. Personally I would have sent the Klingon’s after them but then again I like Wookie’s. CBS plan to destroy the Wookie’s failed the new Star Trek serie’s was canned then brought back only to be canned again, Kahn didn’t help this any. When TNG first aired most people thought it was the long lost new Star Trek pilot. Sadly it was only the new new Star Trek pilot. CBS finally did have their revenge when Revenge of the Sith came out and from there on Star Wars went completely to pot. This all of course led to the end of countless Wookie’s now all out of work. Most just roam the forrest of the northwest posing with tourist as Bigfoot for some spare change. The reason Yoda went digital had to be obvious he died in the third film which was according to George the sixth film but it really wasn’t since it was the third film released. That in itself confound’s me to no end, I still have nightmare’s about it. So anyway that’s my take on the whole CBS being asinine enough to think they could destroy Star Wars.
29 QuackersnCheese on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:56 am
The Hi-Ho song, really that was the name of it? Wow no wonder she alway’s looked so peeved at them.
30 QuackersnCheese on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:57 am
One word that sounds like two words when you say it
Bigfoot
31 QuackersnCheese on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:07 am
Below are some popular female Wookie names
Slutty
Squishy
Really
Rosey
Taffy
Tangy
Touchy
Feely
Moody
Lovey
Hazel – Another who’s parents were into weird names
32 Merat on Dec 16, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Like a guy named “Bigfoot” is gonna call anyone else’s name stupid….
33 Bill Corbett on Jan 22, 2008 at 11:06 am
testing testing testing:
end of test.
34 Optikill on Apr 22, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Happy Lumpy Day, everyone!
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