Yes, this young fellow, Tre Merritt, age 5, slew a bear 12 times his size, saving Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin no end of trouble.
The news stories about it claim that Tre is related to Davy Crockett, but my own research indicates that he is in fact the grandson of Sonny Crockett, whose espadrilles allowed him the kind of stealth necessary to sneak up on a 450-pound carnivore.
Or Michael Mann while he was vacuuming a line of coke in his trailer without offering to share.
9 responses so far ↓
1 MB on Dec 12, 2007 at 4:06 pm
I award you one slow clap, Mr. Nelson, for brave use of “espadrilles.”
[Reply to this]
2 Cliff on Dec 12, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I’ll use this story in the future when I’m trying to convince people how very little sport there is in game hunting.
If an armed 5 year old can take down a bear I think grown men should only be able to hunt using nothing but piano wire and a souvenir replica of the Statue of Liberty. You know, to make it more patriotic.
[Reply to this]
3 Courtney on Dec 12, 2007 at 6:18 pm
See, my research said that he was actually a relative of Davy Jones, whose music brought down the great black bear, brown bear, and the elusive Brady-Bear.
[Reply to this]
4 Tim on Dec 12, 2007 at 9:45 pm
So this 5-year-old kid took down a bear, huh? That’s nice.
Of course, his ancestor Davy Crockett killed a bear when he was only 3 years old. It said so in that song (and if it’s in a song, then it must be true!).
Actually, the way it’s sung in the song, it sounds more like “killed him a bar, when he was only three”, and killing a “bar” just sounds silly. Almost as silly as me quoting a song about Davy Crockett.
[Reply to this]
5 QuackersnCheese on Dec 13, 2007 at 4:30 am
Admitedly the bear featured in the picture above was partially dead before young Tre reportedly killed him. In other news Yogi and Boo boo Bear are to speak at a confrence in Yellowstone National Park later this week. According to anonymous sources the theme will now surround why parents of children below the age of 10 should not be allowed in public parks without a kiddy-leash. Up next why Madonna is so proud of her new chest hair.
[Reply to this]
6 John on Dec 13, 2007 at 8:38 am
The way I heard the story, the bear had colon cancer and the 5-year-old assisted him in a “dying with dignity” suicide, so I don’t think it should count.
[Reply to this]
7 Veronica on Dec 13, 2007 at 10:22 am
You know, I’ll always have a place in my heart for the second season of Vice.
So does little Tre go on to bust drug lords and uncover millions of dollars of stolen coke?
As long as Tubbs doesn’t make an appearance…
[Reply to this]
8 mrbasehart on Dec 13, 2007 at 7:24 pm
You know, there’s no mention of how he took down the bear. I’m guessing he wrestled it to the ground applying the patented “sleeper hold” and then skinned it while the bear was unconscious.
[Reply to this]
Reply from QuackersnCheese on December 14, 2007:
Nah, I think he must have used a ” Bear Hug ” then he skinned him. Most likely the bear skin shown was just a spare suit and the bear has another back at his cave.
Here’s what really happend I swear
Kid: ” Hello Mr. Bear, are you Yogi Bear? ”
Bear: ” No, I’m not Yogi Bear, my name’s Fido. ”
Kid: ” What kind of name is Fido? ”
Bear: ” Look kid I’m really not … ”
Kid: ” Eww did you really eat that dead bird? ”
Bear: ” Well I … ”
Kid: ” Mr. Bear…”
Bear: ” Fido!!! ”
Kid: ” Whatever, your silly. Mr. Bear do you like
Honey? ”
Bear: ” What? Honey sure kid, sure. ”
Kid: ” Where is Yogi and Boo boo? ”
Bear: ” In the cave how should I know? Listen kid if I
give you my skin will you leave me alone? ”
Kid: ” Oh, sure thing Mr. Bear”
Bear: ” Great, here take it, now beat it or I’ll tell you
what goes great with kid soup. ”
Hours later….
Kid: ” And that’s how I got it dad honest he just gave
it to me.”
Later still……
Dad: ” Yep that’s my boy he killed it all by himself.”
And that ladie’s and gent’s is how it all happend I swear. How do I know you ask well because I’m that silly old bear, Fido.
Leave a Comment