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Chawmp!

December 13th, 2007 by · 16 Comments

11411760   rachel rayRachel Ray called a press conference to announce that she will be packing her considerable maw with Dunkin’ brand donuts and ordered her army of fans to do the same. No surprise there, as this is just another predictable campaign in her march toward world domination. She has made no secret of the fact that by the year 2015, 6 years after she assumes the title Global Empress, she intends to mandate that every one of her billions of subjects subsist solely on the single pint of EVOO distributed by her administration. The fact that she will couch her orders in terms like, “Cool, you guys!!” and, “That would be awesome!!!” should not lull you into thinking for even a second that she would hesitate to cut your throat with her Santoku knife and bleed you like breeder sow should you dare defy her.

reidtimThe thing that is surprising is revealed in the Dunkin’ press photo [click to enlarge]: Though he is talented, well-respected and in demand, actor/director/producer Tim Reid hardly dare refuse when His Suzerain orders him to climb into the mascot suit and mylar wig to pass out bear claws. But, as the photo shows, that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it.

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