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The US Mint FAQ for the Presidential $1 Coin, Rewritten Truthfully

December 13th, 2007 by Conor Lastowka · 13 Comments

Jefferson Dollar Coin

The Presidential $1 Coin program evidently launched close to a year ago. This came a surprise to me when I discovered it today, because nobody I know has ever seen one or met anyone who has. I’ve taken the liberty of rewriting the “Answers” to the official US Mint Presidential $1 Coin FAQ to reflect the real world answers to the questions.

Q. How can I get a Presidential $1 Coin for myself?
A. This is impossible. The coins do not actually exist.

Q. Will my bank, credit union, or thrift institution have the coins?
A. In theory yes. In reality no, as they do not actually exist.

Q. How can my bank, credit union, or thrift institution order Presidential $1 Coins?
A. Your financial institution can read about the process in the February 1, 2007 issue of FedFlash. Here are a list of other magazines that we have also made up: GrantGiver, BernakeBi-Monthly and Fictional Coin Digest.

Q. How can I get Presidential $1 Coins for the business I run?
A. While you were asking this question, your direct competitor was taking steps to increase efficiency and profits.

Q. How can I get Presidential $1 Coins for the bank, credit union, or thrift institution I run?
A. Banks and credit unions, no dice, see questions 1 and 2. Since you just made up the term “Thrift Institution”, it is possible that they might be able to obtain Presidential $1 Coins in the imaginary world they exist in.

Q. “Thrift Institution” is actually just another word for Savings Bank or Credit Union, they are real.
A. Then you will not be able to find any Presidential $1 coins at one.

Q. How do I get a release schedule for the program?
A. Since you insist on making our lives difficult, a release schedule can be found here. Please note that dates are generated randomly each time you load the site and extend only thru 2008, by which time we assume everyone will have figured it out and/or lost interest.

Q. How do I get a book to hold the coins I collect?
A. Any of the books that are currently in your house or that you buy in the future are as full of Presidential $1 Coins as they will ever get.

Q. How do I order collector boards or other informational materials for the Presidential $1 Coin Program?
A. We sell these, but only accept Presidential $1 Coins as payment.

Q. I have experienced problems (incorrect quantities, damaged boxes/materials, etc.) with an order I placed for Presidential $1 Coin informational materials. What should I do?
A. Impossible. How did you pay us?

Q. I am experiencing difficulties in accessing the website ($1coin/) for Presidential $1 Coin informational materials. What should I do?
A. Please make sure that you are not attempting to connect from behind a firewall that bans websites with excessive imaginary content. Many work places have these installed to make sure that time is not wasted researching frivolous, made up things.

Q. Is the Presidential $1 Coin Program similar to the 50 States Quarter ProgramĀ®?
A. Similar in the same respect that a unicorn is similar to a horse.

Q. How do I get more information about Presidential $1 Coins?
A. You just don’t get it, do you…

Tags: RiffTrax · silly

13 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Slade Rockfist on Dec 13, 2007 at 4:54 pm

    I’ve seen the infomercial for these coins on late-night television (where else?), and they either do in fact exist, or the infomercial producers created shiny, life-size foil mock-ups of them for their advertising purposes…

  • 2 Sean N. on Dec 13, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    I’d like to point out that because of this program, Richard Nixon is going to be on a coin in 2016. I eagerly await this date, and plan to get as many Nixon Dollars as the bank will allow me.

  • 3 John H. on Dec 13, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    Heh heh heh!

  • 4 Jim on Dec 13, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    I have seen these coins … and unicorns too.

  • 5 Spice Weasel on Dec 14, 2007 at 2:13 am

    Yeah, they exist. I’ve got the proof set of the first four. Pretty rare to see in circulation though. I don’t know why the Mint insists on spending money on a hideous dollar coin that nobody will use. They are just as ugly as the previous dollar coin and have that same, cheap subway token look. Plus it’s still almost, but not quite, the same size as a quarter.

  • 6 QuackersnCheese on Dec 14, 2007 at 5:31 am

    Well when the Clinton dollar come’s out which Clinton will it be? The same could be said of the Bush dollar. Will it be the Bush or the Bush Lite, pause to let that sink in, now laugh.

  • 7 Merat on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:39 am

    I got one as change the other day from Barnes and Nobles. I didn’t look closely enough at it at first, and thought it was just the Sacajawea dollar. Neat looking, though, but I doubt it’ll replace my bronze Roman sesterce as my “flipping coin”/

  • 8 Minnesota on Dec 14, 2007 at 2:27 pm

    Been awhile since I’ve seen one of these. Popular when first released, but have all but disappeared since then.

  • 9 Nanner on Dec 15, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    I wish all FAQs were like this!

  • 10 Thom_Serveaux on Dec 16, 2007 at 11:06 pm

    sorry, but I was under the impression that there was a set of four presidentail proofs, not actual circulated coin…

  • 11 KELLI on Feb 8, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    Does that mean I own something that doesn’t exsist? I own 2 of these-or maybe I don’t?!?! Hmm…

  • 12 Lex on Jan 5, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    I can never find this blog post when I need it! Except now… and yet, if it were tagged as “currency,” it would be simple!

  • 13 Kyne on Feb 20, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    how much have the 2007 presidential coins increased in 2010?