When I was twelve years old I was given a nickname by my friend’s older brother. We were playing basketball in his driveway one morning, when his brother, who was home from college for the summer, stumbled out and joined the game.
He wasn’t one of those guys who competes at full tilt against younger kids. As I recall, he was a generous, easygoing guy. In retrospect, he may have even been a few bong hits into his day already.
At some point I made a decent jump shot and older bro said “Yeah, Fedora!” And from that point on he just kept calling me “Fedora.” Never having heard the word before (this was prehistoric times, when the word had nothing to do with open source software), I asked college boy what it meant.
As you probably know, it’s a hat. He let me know that, but also claimed my new moniker really had nothing to do with hats, per se — I wasn’t wearing one, after all. I just… seemed like a “Fedora.”
A classic Borsalino. Lovely hat, but nothing to me with me, really.
*
*
*
Yeah, it could have been the breakfast ganja talking. The nickname seemed awfully random to me. And yet it stuck among my friends for a few years, and I really didn’t mind it, even if I could never explain it.
In honor of my friend Kenny’s affable (if stoned) older brother, then, I offer you this chance for your own Random Nickname.
Just let me know you’re interested below, and I’ll quickly — and randomly, as promised — assign you a Random Nickname. Feel free to tell me a little about yourself, perhaps 15 words maximum. But know that like Kenny’s way mellow older brother, I may be distracted by a cool bird outside, or some weird dirt on my fingernail, or is it, like, paint?, or a deep thought about the nature and purpose of the universe, and ignore it. In fact, this is likely.
If you complain about your Random Nickname, I will automatically issue you a new one: Stinky. And if you think you’re out of danger because someone else has already been christened Stinky, not so fast: from then on it will be Stinky II, Stinky III, Stinky IV, etc., and so forth, ad infinitum.
On the sunnier side, I pledge not to Random Nickname anyone Lumpy or Itchy.
If you want an RN*, just write “Hit me, Riffclown” below.
(*Random Nickname, not Registered Nurse. If it’s the latter you’re after, you’ll have to come up with one yourself. )
225 responses so far ↓
1 Bill Corbett on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Though my spleefing days are behind me, I feel confident that enough net brain cells perished for me to make a go of this.
Fire away.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Maisie on March 4, 2009:
hey can i have a nickname with the word moo in it (dont ask)
Reply from Jordan on April 28, 2009:
hey can i have a nickname please?
i skateboard, i guess im funny, kinda crazy
Reply from haley on July 12, 2009:
hey can i have a nickname please??
i love to play softball,i love gum,and im funny,crazy…and a caring loving person…
Reply from thomas smith on July 31, 2009:
hi my name is thomas i love to play darts and am looking for a nickname i have played phil “the power” taylor and got to a double against him but sadly i lost lol i have also played eric ” the crafty cockney ” bristow who i have beat i love playing darts and i would love to have my own nickname can u help me please
Reply from gerald on September 10, 2009:
i like to talk, but any way can i have the best nickname for me.
2 Spice Weasel on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:23 pm
Ooh am I first? I’d like a nickname, please. A little about myself. I enjoy mellow cheeses and a good thermos.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
KLEENEX
Reply from Kleenex on December 14, 2007:
A nickname at last! Eat it, losers!
3 Adam on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Hey, I want in on this random nicknaming business, please!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Adam on December 14, 2007:
Oh wait, the things about myself. I got so excited I forgot:
I play guitar and enjoy ham. One time I saw a blimp.
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
ROADMAP
4 Lord Bob on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Oh Riffster, please do hit me with your random goodness. SWM, 5′11″, of full build, enjoys walks on the beach. Seeking associate for friendship, maybe more.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
WASABI
5 MB on Dec 14, 2007 at 7:57 pm
I want one, I want one!
I enjoy swing music and swing dancing, but not the swing choir.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
QUEEN BEE
6 Mindy on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Please, Mr Corbett, give me a nickname! I am a middle aged housewife that spends far too much time reading blogs. Thank you.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
THE PROFESSOR
Reply from Mindy on December 15, 2007:
Thank you. From this day forward, I will direct children and spouse to address me as THE PROFESSOR. I will rule the household! In a way I haven’t figured out yet.
7 John on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Please Help me Bill!! I have been dubbed - Burner & Doobey Brother as a kid (never having smoked let alone weed… then) But now I am nicknameless and have been for soo long. Please O wise one Christen me a new!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
MR. SLICK
Reply from Mr. Slick on December 14, 2007:
From your lips (or keyboard) to God’s ears!
8 Josh on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Bill,
You are hilarious on RiffTrax!
I’m Queen Bee’s husband. I’m a pilot and air traffic controller. And I’ve also seen a blimp (on radar)!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
SPATULA
(P.S. thanks for the kind words.)
Reply from Spatula on December 14, 2007:
Wow, thanks! That is one nickname with 0% jive.
9 Kete on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Hit me! I am a twenty something male who enjoys computers and avoids social situations.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 14, 2007:
You are
NERF
Reply from Kete on December 14, 2007:
Wow, you’re good at this! Much like Nerf, I am also harmless, and not as much fun as you’d think.
10 Queen Bee on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:29 pm
Aw, sweet! I’ve gone from working the concession stand on prom night to a Queen Bee.
Hooray for the way we’ve chosen to spend our Friday night: Nicknames With Corbett!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Queen Bee on December 14, 2007:
Excuse me; that should read Nicknames With Fedora. Must be accurate.
11 Bill Corbett on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:33 pm
Must go.
More RN tomorrow…
…if you dare.
[Tension hit, quick fade to black.]
[Reply to this]
12 Fantabulizer on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:43 pm
I enjoy non sequiturs, elaborate storytelling, and complaining. I thank you in advance for the nickname, and thank you for all the riffing!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
MURGATROID.
13 Tom on Dec 14, 2007 at 8:52 pm
Stay at home dad staying sane with a Fender Telecaster.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
JIM DANDY.
14 Marty on Dec 14, 2007 at 9:12 pm
Hit me, Riffclown, I dare ya,
I like to ride my horse when he’s feeling up to it.
Thanks a million for all the laughs.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
GROMIT.
15 Daisyj on Dec 14, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Ooh, fun! I’ve gone by a nickname all my life, but I think it’s past its sell-by date by now. I work in the field of moving tiny amounts of fluid from one tube to another, and then turning on machines, and I have never been to Dallas.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
DALLAS.
Reply from Dallas on December 16, 2007:
Excellent! Not only an appropriate nickname, but one I can use for my second career as a stripper. Estelle-Marie Wilmington really hasn’t been working for me.
Hey, a girl’s gotta eat.
16 Mathias on Dec 14, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Hit me, Riffclown. Apply a moniker at will!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
SNAKE-HIPS.
17 chris on Dec 14, 2007 at 10:02 pm
I would like a nickname please!
I drink heavily and live my life steeped in bitterness!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
SMILEY.
18 Steve-O on Dec 14, 2007 at 10:13 pm
I demand nickname, though I already have many, most of them unprintable.
As for things about me: there are none to speak of. I simply am.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
PLATO.
19 Ryan on Dec 14, 2007 at 10:40 pm
I am a ameture photographer photographer who enjoys soda.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
CLICKY.
20 ern2150 on Dec 14, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Nick me, Fedora! I’m that guy at the thing doing the stuff, but not in that order.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
EL GAUCHO.
21 BF on Dec 14, 2007 at 10:53 pm
I, as an entrepreneurial young man, have recognized the need for a Bill Corbett inspired nickname generator, and would like to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime! Take my advice and create www.Nick-Me-Bill.com, charging a nominal fee of 19.95 for the honor of having one of our generations best and brightest shine his gift upon your namesake. You’d make millions, my friend.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
SATAN.
22 Insert Coin(s) to Continue on Dec 14, 2007 at 11:18 pm
I’m a comedy song writer with the correct number of fingers.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
JINGLES.
23 Eddie Colton on Dec 15, 2007 at 1:48 am
Ah, Mr. Fedora, it seems, has stumbled upon the single most surefire way to get people’s attention on the internet: make the topic about THEM. I discovered this many years ago and quickly tired of it, as, like people, I am not interested in people, only myself. The catch-22 of instant internet popularity. You can only make yourself instantly popular by making other people think you’re making them instantly popular! Alternately, you can make yourself sound or look like Darth Vader. That one takes a little more work.
So, there’s this cave-like thing near my house that is merely a space between a cliff and a big rock, and I haven’t bothered to seek it out again.
“Hit me, Riffclown.”
By the by, you must realize a nickname is not a nickname unless the nicknamer remembers it. Therefore, on behalf of all the nicknamed, I decree all past and future nicknames null and void until such time as said nicknamer reprises mention of also said nicknames sans reminder. As such, all those nicknamed shall have their nicknames officially revoked if they utter or mention the nicknames themselves, as it would naturally render them worthless. We can’t have people going around using their own nicknames, can we? Not, at least, until said nicknames are undeniably “stuck.”
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
EDDIE COLTON.
Reply from alyssa on June 3, 2008:
im a girl, nice sweet and funny! i love shopping and candy. btw in kinda short for my age.
get me a nick name plz!
24 Pak-Man on Dec 15, 2007 at 2:00 am
I’m 31, married, and enjoy video games.
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
TRON.
25 Courtney on Dec 15, 2007 at 2:07 am
I am wide-awake at 4am CST. I feel that it twas the fates which brought me out of my sleep and into this blog. Name me, Corbett. I think it might be divine intervention.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
SALSA.
26 Bill on Dec 15, 2007 at 3:23 am
I’m awake early on a Saturday to go do a kids’ music radio show, and yet I am not a creepy old man, nor do I go by the name of Bonkers or any other clown name. Also, I am a law professor by day.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
WIGS.
27 customcartoons on Dec 15, 2007 at 4:06 am
Hit me, Riffclown!
Stay-at-home mom of 2, who -like the name implies- draws cartoons. Husband can’t understand why she want to be a filmmaker someday. But don’t let any of that sway your muse.
C’mon! You went to bed at 8:30 ish last night, and it’s 4:00 AM now! Folks need their nicknames awreddy!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
PENCILS.
28 AmandaGal on Dec 15, 2007 at 4:56 am
Hit me, Riffclown! I’m a geek who loves animals and a drug dealer of the legal variety.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
THE PUSHER.
29 AmandaGal on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:00 am
Poor Fedora is going to be nicknaming for days.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
(and who does Fedora have to blame for it?
his very self, none other)
30 Onil on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:13 am
Hit me, Riffclown. (Pardon me for calling you a Riffclown. I would never purposefully have done it had you not first given your permission.)
I love drag cabaret. Just last week, my wife and
step-kids were at the American Museum of Natural History.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Courtney on December 15, 2007:
I’m so about to feel ubernerdy, but were you perchance the same Onil who was “Dumbschmoe” on the old Dominion board?
Reply from Queen Bee on December 15, 2007:
It’s totally him, and I’m Lady Kenobi. Hi!
Reply from Courtney on December 15, 2007:
You guys! It’s like a reunion and such! Once upon a time, I was Cosmic Princess.
Reply from Onil on December 15, 2007:
That was me. And I’m also A Pretty Girl Is Like over at the Rifftrax forum. And the above mentioned wife is wurwolf.
And you were also Princess Tauni, I think. Definitely one of those two princesses.
And hey again, Mary Beth!
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You (ONIL) are now
T-REX.
Reply from Courtney on December 15, 2007:
I was not Princess Tauni, just Cos. I was a member of the Tappy and you used to only call me Young Lady. I have a memory like a steel trap. I’m really happy you and Faith got married!
31 Jen on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:18 am
Name me, baby. I would especially appreciate anything that would look good printed on the dressing room door of a Vegas magician’s assistant - you know, just in case I ever decide to become one.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
WISTERIA.
32 Josh P on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:36 am
Alight on me a RN, dear Fedora! I am a 20-something SWM who enjoys cottage cheese and has a penchant for Italian conveyer belts.
[There’s a joke here somewhere about your RN and the Disney cartoon “Johnny Fedora” (available on YouTube). Perhaps a distant relative of yours?]
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
CURDS.
33 Slade Rockfist on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:47 am
Since you’re apparently done giving out names, Bill, I guess I have to stick with what I’ve got…..
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
PAPYRUS.
(oh ye of little faith…)
34 missgrace on Dec 15, 2007 at 6:48 am
Hit me, Riffclown.
I’m 28, married, a librarian who loves video games and everything geeky.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
DEWEY DECIMAL.
35 Queen Bee on Dec 15, 2007 at 6:51 am
Oh, Fedora. What hath you wrought?
[Reply to this]
Reply from Courtney on December 15, 2007:
I picture Bill sitting at home buried in printouts of all these requests, sobbing “I didn’t know! I JUST DIDN’T KNOW!”
36 doggans on Dec 15, 2007 at 7:56 am
Hit me, good sir Riffclown. If it’s not too much trouble.
I’m a 20-year-old somewhat introverted college junior who makes crappy movies.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
UNDERTOW.
37 Merat on Dec 15, 2007 at 7:57 am
Hit me, Riffclown!
I’m a 26 year old librarian and aspiring writer and humorist.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Merat on December 15, 2007:
Male librarian, I should specify. I find that if I don’t people assume otherwise.
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
GINZU.
38 Ron on Dec 15, 2007 at 8:12 am
Make with the nickname, my good Fedora. Unlike you, I have a fedora, but I can’t wear it over my giant head full of hockey hair (modern type, not classic mullet… I wish I could pull off a mullet).
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
“STICKS.”
(quotation marks mandatory.)
Reply from Queen Bee on December 15, 2007:
Oooooh, *you* got quotation marks.
Reply from “STICKS.” on December 15, 2007:
I like it!
39 mccloud on Dec 15, 2007 at 8:33 am
I’m a middle aged woman with a fondness for, well…everything.
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
HUNTRESS.
40 JoshWay on Dec 15, 2007 at 9:14 am
I’m 32 year old fella who enjoys cartoons and history, but not cartoons about history.
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
HERODOTUS.
41 WaffleTron on Dec 15, 2007 at 9:29 am
I’m a 21 year old guy who just graduated with an animation degree, loves video games, and just relaxing.
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
HAMMOCK.
(N.B.: Not “Ham-hock.”)
Reply from WaffleTron on December 15, 2007:
Thanks, Bill (or Fedora). I actually like the new name. Question- Would the name Fedora the Explorer upset you?
-Hammock
42 Cibernetico 2 on Dec 15, 2007 at 9:43 am
I’m a 20 something male. I like wrestling and being unemployed. Alot of my bones are held together with titanium rods and pins. My favorite drink is a white Russian.
Honor me with a nickname Clown Prince of Riff Mastery.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
PUTSKI.
43 torgosPizza on Dec 15, 2007 at 10:39 am
Hit me, riffclown!
I’m 26m, long hair, glasses, and I’m the webmaster for RiffTrax.com.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
PIZZASTORGO.
Alternately:
THE EXTRUDER.
44 Mir on Dec 15, 2007 at 10:40 am
I am hopelessly obsessed with birds. I live on the internet.
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
FINCHSTALKER.
Reply from Mir on December 15, 2007:
Yay! Thank you, Fedora!
45 Bill Corbett on Dec 15, 2007 at 10:50 am
…….And that’s about all Fedora can handle for now.
Thanks for playing, and if I disappointed or offended anyone, remember that the average amount of time I took coming up with each name was .7 seconds.
And if you’re still peeved, feel free to re-name yourself Stinky.
Wishing all you Rifftraxians good weekendseses.
[Reply to this]
46 QuackersnCheese on Dec 15, 2007 at 10:54 am
I’m a single guy who has gone through cancer, still lives at home, and works as a security guard. As Jeff Dunham’s buddy Walter would say ” Got anything for that dumb@$$ ” ( just kidding we all know your really a smart@$$ LOL)
Oh and I’m a recovering Trekaholic ( Star Trek )
[Reply to this]
Reply from Nanner on December 15, 2007:
You’ve consumed too much Trekahol, eh?
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
Q-n-C, you are now
DUCKPIN.
Reply from QuackersnCheese on December 18, 2007:
Thank’s Mr. Corbett, how sporting of you. Must be waddling off now, duck season sneaks up on ya fast these day’s.
47 Robert Denby on Dec 15, 2007 at 11:12 am
Hit me RiffClown!
I’m a handsome gadabout with the power to decide who lives and who dies.
[Reply to this]
Reply from The Professor on December 15, 2007:
Sorry you didn’t get your nickname, Mr. Denby. You were just too elusive.
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
ZEUS.
48 Mario Panighetti on Dec 15, 2007 at 11:14 am
I’m a 25-year-old that plays video games as old as me, sometimes older.
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
ASTEROID.
49 Tyrant on Dec 15, 2007 at 1:28 pm
All my nicknames have always sucked. I look to you, brilliant one, for a fitting name that’s not my Internet handle.
I’m 32, an artist, and I like zombies. I’m also married to Pak-Man (aka Tron).
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
VOODOO.
50 MontyServo on Dec 15, 2007 at 2:15 pm
Is it too late to get a nickname? Dang!
I’m a 36yo dude that always misses out on things like this. I also like cheese.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
GOUDA.
51 Tim on Dec 15, 2007 at 2:34 pm
At the age of 7, I fell out of a tree and broke my arm. I was dressed as Indiana Jones at the time.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
SMIRK.
(and… did you shoot first?)
52 Greg McIver on Dec 15, 2007 at 4:20 pm
Hit me RiffClown. I am 24 years old. I enjoy theatre and watching old movies. I also enjoy drinking red wine while viewing episodes of the Film Crew and MST3K. I don’t need the wine in order to enjoy MST3K or the Film Crew. It just happens to be a nice pairing. Oh yes, I am also a huge Marx Brothers fan.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
RUFUS T.
53 Ariel on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Please oh please a nickname for me? My lovely aunt is “THE PROFESSOR”
Me? I’m 28, I’m in accounting but would rather sail around the world. And I really want a dog. My favorite scent is violets.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
K-1099.
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
Nahh, I take that back. So clever it’s not clever.
A non-overthought alternative:
DIGITS.
Take your choice.
Reply from Ariel on December 17, 2007:
Well I got it
54 Brandice on Dec 15, 2007 at 5:39 pm
I would love a nickname. I am a twenty-something primate with a love of tea, monkeys, gaming, and apocalyptic science fiction that makes me feel like things could be much worse than they are now. Wheee!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
You are
MACAQUE.
55 BlakeMP on Dec 15, 2007 at 6:36 pm
At last, a chance to escape the nickname given to me in 9th grade when one of the upper classmen in band decided I laughed like the Pillsbury Doughboy! Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from BlakeMP on December 15, 2007:
Dang. That’s what I get for posting before I read all the replies..
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
OK, Riffclown rose from the grave for a few more, but after our friend BlakeMP — excuse me, BARACUDA — no mas.
Must now apply my delicate mind to other pursuits, like looking up information on “Kung Fu: The Legend Continues” on IMDB.
56 Leigh Ann on Dec 15, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Sure, why not. I’m a 25-year-old who works in a library. I also like clementines, which I mention because it’s the first thing I saw when I looked around, trying to think of something relevant to say. Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on December 15, 2007:
No more after Leigh Ann*, then.
*now known as
SEEDLESS.
57 Bill Corbett on Dec 15, 2007 at 8:54 pm
Move on to the next blog thread, now. Scoot!
[Reply to this]
58 Isaac S. on Dec 15, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Sad I missed the fun! I don’t suppose there are any nicknames left, are there?
[Reply to this]
Reply from Eddie Colton on December 15, 2007:
I can nickname you JEMIMA, if you want.
Reply from Isaac S. on December 20, 2007:
Haha! I have now been retroactively nicknamed PLANKTON!
59 I can dig it, sucka « Subtle Bluntness on Dec 15, 2007 at 11:24 pm
[…] given to me by the infamous Bill Corbett of MST3K and Rifftrax fame. You may call me “STICKS.” The quotation marks are […]
60 Minnesota on Dec 17, 2007 at 7:02 am
d’oh, looks like I missed out on the fun. Great job with the names Bill, it was fun
[Reply to this]
61 Artie Adams on Dec 17, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Hit me, Riffclown!
[Reply to this]
62 Kip on Dec 18, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Hit me, Riffclown (please).
From Connecticut, glasses, been eating a lot of potato chips lately.
[Reply to this]
63 Dave on Dec 20, 2007 at 10:03 am
I would like one please. I play the banjo, my specialty is fried shrimp, and I once ran over a dolphin wish a canoe.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Dave on December 20, 2007:
That’s meant to be “with a canoe”, not “wish a canoe”. That’s just crazy talk.
64 robotrollcall on Dec 24, 2007 at 5:55 pm
hit me riff clown. i want one sooooo bad. i like things and stuff. oh and i also like rain and monkeys.
[Reply to this]
65 robotrollcall on Dec 24, 2007 at 8:08 pm
OH NO!!! he’s all out of nicknames!!! oh how i wanted one. hey, to those of us who didn’t get one - do you wanna give each other nicknames? sure, they won’t be as good as bill’s nicknames - but it’s still a nickname. whaddya say? shall we divvy up and do this thing?
[Reply to this]
66 Jared on Jan 6, 2008 at 12:00 am
i’m anit-social and i draw alot
[Reply to this]
67 Day One « Blonde Champagne on Feb 18, 2008 at 8:32 pm
[…] will notice that I posted as “Queen Bee,” because that is the nickname given to me by none other than Bill Corbett himself (should you doubt his ability to do so, he has also dubbed […]
68 Samantha on Mar 3, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Mr. Corbett,
I have a teacher at school names Mrs. Corbett.
I need a nickname for her can you help me out?
[Reply to this]
69 Jason Kopke on Apr 7, 2008 at 8:41 pm
I love guitars, music, and rocking out.
[Reply to this]
70 marcus kaae on Apr 22, 2008 at 10:13 am
hey i really need a nickname i love basketball and i jump really high even though im 12 years old
[Reply to this]
71 hariette on May 9, 2008 at 8:28 am
pls give me a nickname. my name is hariette. someone give me a nickname and thnks;)
[Reply to this]
72 Matt on Jun 3, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Hit me Rifftrax! I’m a married 34-year old web developer with a 2-year old. I enjoy responding to seemingly abandoned conversation threads. And Java.
[Reply to this]
73 Keith on Jun 9, 2008 at 6:35 pm
I’m a rising senior in high school and an impressive intellect. I perfer short, easy to remember, but at the same time, random as heck nicknames. I think this may b setting up a lot of people for an identity crisis but you needn’t worry about me.
(Randomly) Hit me Riffclown.
Please and thank you,
Keith a.k.a. K-DoGG, Kelithimo, etc.
[Reply to this]
74 lemony on Jun 14, 2008 at 5:34 pm
hit me, riffclown!
im short, goofy, and odd.
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75 David on Jun 20, 2008 at 2:09 pm
im short, funny, and a good friend
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76 grant on Jun 24, 2008 at 9:10 pm
im tall, strong,and i love the wicked clowns
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Reply from Jenny on July 30, 2008:
mmfcl bitch!!
if you like faygo [[my nickname used to be faygo ninjette…f.n for short or faygolette]]
or it could be the lotus ninja
77 Looking for help on Jun 25, 2008 at 5:57 pm
I’m a 5′ asian girl described as energetic, cute, and sometimes sexy.
What do you think?
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78 Jenny on Jul 30, 2008 at 1:43 pm
i want one!
i love skateboarding, and i LOVE sugar and i always make ppls laugh..and i’m really hyper..all the time
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79 abril on Aug 14, 2008 at 1:48 pm
hi!
my name is abril and i want a nickname that rockss!!…I’m mexican girl of 14 years and i like the music, i think i’m really normal…well like a teen girl well thanks!!
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80 nicole on Sep 1, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Hit me, Riffclown
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81 krista on Sep 11, 2008 at 1:28 pm
i love the color blue. i like playin basketball i love playing the guitar and writing lyrics
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82 haley on Sep 12, 2008 at 7:48 pm
i am wanting help finding a great nickname for my boyfriend…
he’s funny,cute,plays basketball,loves to talk,very,very sweet……
so can you help me out????
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83 Isaiah on Sep 16, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Hit me, Riffclown. i play baseball basketball and football, so i’m basically an athlete, and i got a 4pac
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Reply from MELDOY on February 9, 2009:
TRIED 4PAC?
84 Rubber ducky 6833 on Nov 24, 2008 at 4:27 pm
i can’t get my freinds to call me any thing but my real name and short form and it is realy not fun
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85 Ross on Nov 29, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Hit me my man!
a ska, reggae and punk fan who loves music
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86 Dennis on Dec 2, 2008 at 11:30 am
Alright, I played the drums for 7 years an I listen to only Heavy Metal, all other music to me sucks. I love to spend time with my girlfriend, an i like to work out, I am built really good for my age. I am 15. I want a tough, mean, an kool nickname please, I cant come up with one an no one else can too. Thanks.
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Reply from thunderbolt on January 9, 2009:
I have a nickname for you and i hope you like it;
Metal Muscles
Tell me what ya think.
87 Dennis on Dec 2, 2008 at 11:31 am
I still play trhe drums so just letting everyone one know in case.
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88 Shawnna on Dec 15, 2008 at 3:01 pm
YO! RIFFCLOWN!
gimme some of dat naminnicks you been giving away ;D
The name beez Shawnna. Im KIIRAZY! and love mispelling words. im a HUGE FLIRT! with a heart made out of gold. pshttt im soo not conceited.
Ohh and im….FEMALE! ShhhaaaBAYUM!
<3
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89 demon punisher on Dec 25, 2008 at 5:45 am
i want to go on the game!
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90 thunderbolt on Jan 9, 2009 at 6:24 pm
I want a nickname for xbox live. I love to play hockey, baseball, and my electric guitar. I also like to hunt!
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Reply from MELDOY on February 9, 2009:
TRIED GUIHUN?
91 Danielle on Jan 19, 2009 at 11:42 am
hey! i was wondering if i could get a great nickname because after soooo long i still dont have one! please help!
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92 MELDOY on Feb 9, 2009 at 8:33 pm
HEY PPL.WELL IM IN MIDDDLE SCHOOL AND IN A MOBB BUT I DNT LIKE DAH NIK NAME LASHEZZ S0 I WANT A NEW 1…AND SOMETHING ORIGINALL..
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93 chris on Feb 15, 2009 at 5:07 am
16 year old kid.enjoys playing the guitar and loves beer!
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Reply from chris on February 15, 2009:
btw i listen to heavy metal,and i live in lebanon!can you help me?
Reply from Rachel Lee Wilson on July 11, 2009:
You are JUNIPER
94 Dunno yet :P on Feb 15, 2009 at 1:45 pm
hehe i need a nick, tryed to figure it out myself… to hard
.. im 15 years old, i play football, hanging out with friends… If u have somthing good bring it 
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Reply from Dunno yet :P on February 15, 2009:
ah yeah, btw. i listen to stuff lie Linkin Park…
95 Carl on Feb 19, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I like rap only rap especially when they tell stories in through the lyrics
I like simple Rappers names like
Big L
2Pac
B.I.G
Big Pun
Eazy-E etc.
I like to skateboard
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96 Chaldea Stewart on Mar 8, 2009 at 3:42 pm
hit me riffclown!
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97 Chritsine Webber on Mar 23, 2009 at 7:44 pm
well ello.
i love art and music. i would consider myself unique and out goinggggg. plz give me a nick name
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Reply from jackson on June 15, 2009:
you are
ARTIESTIE
98 Paige on Mar 24, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I’ve been going crazy, I just gave my friend the coolest nickname, Cuppy.. and I want one.
I love music & going insane with friends.
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99 Corinne Wenn on Mar 27, 2009 at 1:14 am
My name is Corinne and I laugh alot!! I love e-mailing my friends and I am random. I also love doing random stuff and saying randomly funny things. I’m shy around strangers but super-nice and friendly. Could you please give my innocent red-cheeked name.
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100 Chris on Apr 20, 2009 at 8:58 am
Hey Im chris i love to play sports, im a boy, like hanging out with my friends ( anywhere ), and I really would like a nick. So i tried!
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101 Lynn on Apr 20, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I have been trying to get a nickname for a man whom I truly do like. He loves to dance, sensitive, writes lyrics, romantic guy.
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102 emily on May 16, 2009 at 7:13 am
I need a nick name my name is so lame is emily jean ha and i hate when people call me emily or emma jean my friends used to call me lee lee and others called me ej but it never stuck i hated it well anyways ill tell u a little bout me i am 23 and i love shoppin and hanging out i am a leo i was born aug 20th IDK if that will help but…..yeah im in need of a nick name so do u have any suggestions?
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103 james duffy on May 20, 2009 at 6:05 pm
i’m a fifteen year old mexican i’m rebellious and wit the girl of my dreams plz give a a good nick name
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104 poppy on May 25, 2009 at 11:24 am
can i have a nickname plz.
my names poppy and i really enjoy dancing
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105 payola on May 25, 2009 at 6:41 pm
hi. my names kale payola. im small, im rebellious, and im kinda mean. im basically a tomboy. can ya give me a good nickname??
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106 Cj on Jun 14, 2009 at 10:31 am
hey, can u give me a nickname thats cool, but describes me… i really enjoy sports. thanks bro.
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107 jackson on Jun 15, 2009 at 10:08 am
i like soccer i play guitar and i am daring. i would like a cool nick name that describes me thanks brosif
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108 jackson on Jun 15, 2009 at 10:15 am
im also very sly and fast
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109 jeremy on Jun 15, 2009 at 10:29 am
I like video games, running and me and my friend are class clowns at my school. im also fast and am almost always in a good mood. so can you please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me.
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Reply from maitha on June 17, 2009:
you should try…mm…
1.THE JOKER
2.THE GAMER
3.MR.SPEED
110 maitha on Jun 17, 2009 at 4:49 am
IM A 13 year old girl who wants a nickname o join face book i love clowns cuz there creepy(im weird dont ask why)….but i tried 1000000 names about clowns and i really want a new nick name about clowns or weirdnees..lol and i for got something……….YOUR AWSOME!!!
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111 landon groves on Jun 21, 2009 at 7:56 pm
I play guitar and i am afraid of clowns
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112 landon groves on Jun 21, 2009 at 7:57 pm
oh yeah… im also the class clown.
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113 Ben on Jul 2, 2009 at 10:23 am
Hey, can you find a nickname for me?
My name’s Ben, i like playing baseball.
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114 Alin on Jul 4, 2009 at 5:48 am
I’m a 15 year old boy…like streetdancing playing basketball…pls nick me!
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115 Eli on Jul 5, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I like to skateboard, And i have OCD
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116 Rachel Lee Wilson on Jul 11, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I need a nickname. i am a tomboy who likes to scooter. im an avril lavigne fan and i love animals.. my parents got devorced so i live with my grandparents and half brother. my dad has a farm with 6 goats, tons of chickens a dog, tons of cats and kitttens, and ducks. im a girl, single and age nine. oh ya, ….. i have ADHD. i have a few male frends.and i would like a boyfrend.
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117 Rachel Lee Wilson on Jul 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm
oh and i like swimming, drawing and making things
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118 Rachel Lee Wilson on Jul 11, 2009 at 12:01 pm
and…. sorry my fave animal is a pig i LOVE them.
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119 Rachel Lee Wilson on Jul 11, 2009 at 12:04 pm
and people think im mean.
but inside.. im not. i wanna be a vampire. thats all ……..i think.
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120 Jonathan on Aug 15, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Hey,my name is Jonathan and I had a nickname but it hasnt been catching on.Its Prince Jonny and people have been calling me princces jonny.I enjoy wrestleling,basketball, and music.Rap or Reggaeton.O and Xbox 360
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121 Jonathan on Aug 15, 2009 at 4:27 pm
One last thing,my heart has just been crushed by a girl.
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122 Vania on Aug 17, 2009 at 9:32 am
My name is Vanya. I’m crazy, tipsy, clumsy .. i make fool of myself. I’m really sarcastic and kinda mean. I like pigs.
HIT ME RIFFCLOWN!
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123 Jennifer Hiebsch on Sep 9, 2009 at 5:48 am
Please something with Boo. thanks riffclown!!!
im upper 30s sexy, short, love, books, horses, and family..oh and leather and lace o course!
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124 gerald on Sep 10, 2009 at 3:01 pm
i like to talk but anyway can ihave the best nickname for me. thanks riff.
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125 Candice on Sep 14, 2009 at 2:42 pm
okay im 5′8, blonde, athletic, lazy, female haha and i need a easy nickname thatlls stick!
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126 Conrad on Sep 22, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hello, Mr. Bill
I enjoy playing video games and spend way too much time doing it, I hate tomatos and ketchup, but love pizza, I am althletic I suppose and one of my friends is called seaweed brain.
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Reply from Conrad on September 22, 2009:
Oh, and I also deeply enjoy mythology* and occult.
*Creatures such as succubus Etc.
127 alain on Oct 17, 2009 at 7:04 pm
im funny from miami and cool and i like to dance
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128 Mikolaj Penar on Oct 18, 2009 at 10:16 am
Hey mate can i have a nickname?
Im a BMX’er, Kinda chill and not caring about most of the stuff that happens round me and im loyal to those who i know. Cheers
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129 anon on Oct 31, 2009 at 2:06 pm
can i have a nickname plz?
can it be sumthin cool and rock-star-ish.
ive been told im random.so plz try and fit that in with it to. thanks!!!!
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130 Jason on Nov 2, 2009 at 8:27 pm
im big bodied black hard… ppl say im scary…. and i want it to sound like a clown name
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