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Whither the World’s Longest Strip of Bacon?

December 17th, 2007 by · 15 Comments

Bacon Scarf

I give you, the Bacon Scarf. It is clearly the preferred method of keeping your neck warm, especially iff your head is already cozily contained in the hollowed out chest of a lamb. Obviously, the only thing wrong with the scarf is its $38 price tag. For an item whose target audience is skewed as ironically as the Bacon Scarf’s audience, it’s important to keep things at an impulsive level.

Since you brought up the subject of bacon, a few months ago, while trying to create fake internet videos for a friends TV show, I offered up the opinion that doing a video about the creation and then the eating of the World’s Longest Strip of Bacon would be quite popular on the internet. My reasoning was thus:

1. It’s really stupid

My idea was hastily shouted down, but I stand by it’s potential viral-ness. Preliminary searches for “longest strip of bacon“, “biggest strip of bacon“, “world’s biggest piece of bacon” and “world’s longest piece of bacon” turn up a combined total of 2 results, neither of which stakes any sort of claim to the record. Which means that it is out there for the taking.

I see the main hurdle as being how you attach the individual strips of bacon to each other. I think that a stipulation should be that you must be able to eat the entire strip of bacon, if you so desired. This means no stapling or twine involved. Tying the pieces of uncooked bacon together with knots seems like it might work, but once again, google remains mute on anybody with past experience “tying bacon knots” (Come on people, aren’t these the types of problems we figured out years ago? Weren’t the pioneers sitting around tying bacon knots? What else did they have to do!)

You then run into the issue of how to cook the bacon. Do you do it before the pieces are tied together? Can you tie them together and then lay the strip in the frying pan in a spiral? How many rolls of paper towels will be required to pat down the World’s Longest Strip of Bacon?

There are lots of questions, and I hope you will help me come up with some answers. Right now, there is no record for the World’s Longest Strip of Bacon. By February of 2008, I hope the record has been broken a dozen times.

Tags: bacon · gift guide · silly