Comments on: I’ll Cut You, Man!

By: Queen Bee

Queen Bee — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 02:53:13 +0000

Indeed, I never thought I’d say this… but she doesn’t even deserve BEEF.

By: Mike Nelson

Mike Nelson — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:35:11 +0000

Ya daddle da, daddle daddle daddle daddle daddle. Yum bum bum, yaddle daddle daddle daddle daddle!!*

*That’s my Copland as performed by the Beef Council Orchestra of Saint Sirloin in the Field.

By: Mike Nelson

Mike Nelson — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:32:38 +0000

(*burp*small barf*) I smell it, too.

By: Mr. Slick

Mr. Slick — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 04:00:04 +0000

The Beef Counsel will NOT stand for this!!

By: Rufus T.

Rufus T. — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 01:44:11 +0000

I smell another Michael Moore documentary in the works. I also smell pizza. But I smell the new Michael Moore documentary a little bit more.

By: Kei

Kei — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:41:51 +0000

Hey, I personally think all little girls would do well to spend a little time in the slammer. They’ll learn all kinds of useful things in there, instead of wasting their time giggling, painting their nails, or serving in Miley Cyrus’s dark army.

Young girls need the life skills offered in our fine penitentiaries. Like knowing how to cut a good deal on cigarettes, bench pressing, the importance of bitchdom when it comes to safety and getting a shot at pudding* in the cafeteria… Y’know, lots of good stuff.

*I don’t actually know if prisons serve pudding. The extent of my penal knowledge is what I’ve read in Stephen King novels. And the movie Chicago, which means I’m also under the impression that “lights out” in prisons is for the purpose of adding to the tone of nightly burlesque numbers involving only the sexiest of inmates.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 22:55:25 +0000

Which still wasn’t as bad as the day she brought Hilary Swank to school and she started upper-cutting all the kids. But then she took a hit and was paralyzed, and then *sniff* Clint Eastwood gave her a shot of *sniff, stifled sob* adrenaline and she, she she died… LOOK I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

By: Merat(Ginzu)

Merat(Ginzu) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:29:49 +0000

Well, in all fairness, all the other students are wolverines. Its a special school.

By: Merat(Ginzu)

Merat(Ginzu) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:26:07 +0000

Hello Kitty has brought a great deal of grief to this world. …. and headaches. Mostly headaches.

By: Bill Corbett

Bill Corbett — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:19:09 +0000

That rotten kid. I warned her last month when she brought her Hello Kitty backpack to school. I was convinced that she’d start swinging it wildly at any minute, taking out eyes left and right.

Throw the book at this little terrorist.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:07:22 +0000

…So how were the other kids eating their steaks? Just picking it up and shoving it into their mouths? Attempting to use their plastic forks, breaking them, and subsequently eating bits of sharp plastic?

I’m just filled with questions, I tell ya!

By: torgosPizza

torgosPizza — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:27:53 +0000

I’m with you on this. The best thing my school ever served was “Italian Dunkers” – English muffins topped with pizza cheese and a garlic seasoning. They were delicious, but they weren’t no steak.

By: Kevin Murphy

Kevin Murphy — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:07:23 +0000

Strike a blow for the vegans!

By: Ron

Ron — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:58:17 +0000

If she had properly tenderized that steak, this never would’ve happened. I blame the chef for serving such inferior beef that it couldn’t be cut with a spoon.

By: Tim

Tim — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:47:45 +0000

I think we’ve all felt scared when we were being trimmed from the short loin next to the rib end.

I guess this girl attends Ruth’s Chris Elementary School?

By: doggans

doggans — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:44:20 +0000

I, for one, am glad to see more steak offenders brought to justice. Hasn’t the poor steak suffered enough already? It’s already dead, why do you feel the need to humiliate it more by slicing and dicing it? This heartless little girl obviously has no soul.

By: Merat(Ginzu)

Merat(Ginzu) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:32:38 +0000

Yeah, she’s gonna be cell mates with the homicidal “Tweetybird Keychain” lunatic that was in all the papers a few years ago. Monsters. *Shudder*

By: wurwolf

wurwolf — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 19:31:54 +0000

What kind of fancy school cafeteria serves steak? If the school had been doing its duty by serving tacos and tater tots, this could have all been avoided.