On the occasion of this solemn day, which sees the release of our FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER Rifftrax, I need a simple question answered:
What the hell is the Thing made of?
Rock? One would think so. But rock isn’t usually orange, is it?
Some kind of rhino hide, if a rhino had a serious beta carotene addiction?
A huge mountain of stale N.Y. Cheddar?
I really need this answered, and soon. I am deadly serious. The Russian Mob My wife has sworn to stomp feed the cute kitten below with size-13 Doc Martens extra love and care if I don’t get a definite answer within the hour eventually; no rush.
30 responses so far ↓
1 Bill Corbett on Dec 18, 2007 at 3:41 pm
A gigantic slab of orange zest, maybe?
Help me!
2 “Sticks” on Dec 18, 2007 at 3:49 pm
If I had to guess, and I do because I love kittens not being loved, I’d say he’s made delicious Honey Comb cereal.
Honey Comb big, yeah yeah yeah.
3 Mario "Asteroid" Panighetti on Dec 18, 2007 at 3:56 pm
It’s not small? No no no!
4 Mario "Asteroid" Panighetti on Dec 18, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Wikipedia is a bit ambiguous on the subject, referring to his skin as “rock-like” or “a thick, orange hide”. The simple answer, then, would be that his skin is made of skin (that has been hardened by cosmic radiation). But I haven’t watched either Fantastic Four movie, RiffTraxified or otherwise, so I haven’t heard the Hollywood big screen explanation. Did they have some technobabbly description on Reed Richard’s part? Please divulge!
5 Kei on Dec 18, 2007 at 4:19 pm
He might be made out of Utah, apparently:
http://www.tonyhowell.co.uk/orangerock,utah.htm
Or I could make a bad joke about Orange County, sunless tanning gone horribly, radioactively wrong, or an unfortunate combination of the two, but I like you too much.
6 Natureboy on Dec 18, 2007 at 4:28 pm
He is definitely from Georgia and he is made out of red Georgia clay.
7 Mike Nelson on Dec 18, 2007 at 4:41 pm
He is made out of STUFF.*
*Stuff (stuhff) – noun: 1. The material of which the Thing is comprised.
Mike “Tautology” Nelson
8 Ariel on Dec 18, 2007 at 4:52 pm
crazy question- wouldn’t the movie kind of explain that? I’m going for some sort of lithium compound, cause i understand it burns orange and he’s clearly some sort of burnt radioactive human type thing. I mean, just my best guess.
9 Natureboy on Dec 18, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Or maybe he is not made out of rocks at all, but kidney stones.
10 Mario "Asteroid" Panighetti on Dec 18, 2007 at 5:36 pm
A.K.A. Mike “Pleonasm” Nelson?
11 Rufus T. on Dec 18, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Cheddar cheese. Cheddar cheese that has been left out in the open for about two years.
12 Ross on Dec 18, 2007 at 5:58 pm
He is made out of the the stuff that sticks between the skin of over weight sweaty comic book nerds.
You may commence puking now.
13 Bill Corbett on Dec 18, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Ouch.
I’d sure hate to pass the Thing through my…
never mind.
14 Bill Corbett on Dec 18, 2007 at 7:00 pm
You may commence puking now
And here I thought I didn’t have any left after seeing Kevin as sexy Santa. But apparently…
excuse me…
15 Bill Corbett on Dec 18, 2007 at 7:03 pm
There’s technobabble a-plenty in the movie. But they never quite say what the big hunk of orange love is supposed to be.
They also made him a lot more humanoid looking than in the comics, where looks more like a mountain ‘o rocks (albeit orange) than a fat guy with a skin condition.
16 Bill Corbett on Dec 18, 2007 at 7:23 pm
An excellent theory, nicely backed up by your research. i’m ready to go with it, unless the Mormons call up and tell me to back off.
17 Mr. Slick on Dec 18, 2007 at 7:54 pm
As a former comic book geek I am here to tell you that the Thing’s skin is was turned into orange rock. (period) Just repeat to yourself it’s a comic book, you should really just relax.
18 ROPER on Dec 18, 2007 at 8:09 pm
He’s no more orange than Mathew Perry or Lindsay Lohan. It’s the crevises that disturb me, what if an appendage were to snap off ?
19 Virginia Corbett on Dec 18, 2007 at 9:25 pm
He’s made of FLOAM!
http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/floam.html
20 chris (smiley) on Dec 18, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Maybe Stan just had this “thing” for orange ink.
21 Eddie Colton on Dec 19, 2007 at 1:56 am
100% pure adrenaline.
Either that or 100% unleavened Jack Kirby.
But most likely concentrated… uh, that stuff they color cheddar with. I dunno, ask Mike. He’s from Wisconsin.
22 The Mormons on Dec 19, 2007 at 2:35 am
Back off.
23 Tim on Dec 19, 2007 at 2:37 am
Dried, crystalized chunks of eye mucous. And maybe some ear wax.
Obviously.
24 Bill Corbett on Dec 19, 2007 at 3:40 am
(gulp)
Yessirs.
25 Josh P on Dec 19, 2007 at 4:12 am
“Honeycomb’s got…a big big bite! Big big taste in a big big bite!”
26 Ron "Not Hulk but Sticks" Hogan on Dec 19, 2007 at 10:09 am
I think the really important question is: What is Hulk Hogan made out of?
27 "Sticks" on Dec 19, 2007 at 10:10 am
It stays clobberin’ time, even in milk!
28 Edgewriter on Dec 19, 2007 at 10:18 am
The Thing is made of . . . things. In fact he is made of so many things, that people just called him The Thing for short.
He didn’t like it much at first so other names were tried. Pile of things, Barrel of things, The Hulk was taken, so for a while they settled on Mr Exema. None of those names stuck though.
But one day Ben Grimms wife looked down his pants and decided to name him after his penis. She had been calling it The thing for years anyway.
It had all come full circle, but there it was. The name stuck. He is The Thing.
29 Natureboy on Dec 19, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I got it! I got it! It is Robert Loggia on steroids!
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