The snacks have been purchased, torn open and poured into the few plastic bowls he was able to scrounge from under his sink. The lids have been removed from the Chi Chi’s brand Fiesta Con Queso dip. The Schaefer has been chilling for at least 20 minutes. Moreso even than Bonesaw, who, it cannot be denied, is ready, this man is really, really ready.*
*For some football.