The novelty song whose name must not be spoke (and whose creator should have her name blotted from the Book of Life*) is truly a modern horror on the level of mustard gas and lolcats (I refuse to link to them – you’re on your own there.) But then I accidentally heard the Shania Twain gut punch Man! I Feel Like a Woman! and I realized there is a deeper level of suffering that my memory, God bless it, had suppressed.
Shania apparently tosses off hope-destroying nightmares like the average person sloughs of dead skin cells because she is, you’ll recall, the dark priestess responsible for That Don’t Impress Me Much (WARNING! THE LINK IS PROVIDED ONLY TO REFRESH YOUR MEMORY! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU ATTEMPT TO VIEW THE VIDEO IN ITS ENTIRETY. Do so and you WILL DIE!)
She has managed to keep pace with Bernie Taupin who co-wrote an amazing two hope destroying nightmares in one 12-month period! We Built This City, which has more than once been crowned the worst rock ‘n’ roll song of all times and These Dreams for Heart, a song that features what I think is the worst lyric in history (“The sweetest song is silence/That I’ve ever heard.”**)
So aside from the obvious MacArthur Parkes and the Popozaos and the I’ve Never Been to Mes and the Ebony and Ivorys of the world, I’d be interested to hear which (popular) songs wring the hope and joy from your soul?
*Grammar experts, I know this is wrong – a little help?
**If you want to put forth Steve Miller’s oft cited “Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas” train wreck as the worst ever, I won’t argue with you. We can hate them both over a beer – I’m buying.