It’s been a great year for trends in general, which show no signs of trending down. This year saw a near-record number of tendencies become avocations, several skipping the penchant stage and quickly becoming full-blown trends. Let’s take a look at the trends that were the trendiest, and which trends will set the trend for the year to come.
Refusing To Work, the hottest trend among TV and film writers coast-to-coast, trended way up at the end of the year and shows no signs of going away. This infrequent and usually brief trend invariably shows up on the heels of one of Show Business’s favorite trend, Paying Hard-Working People Far Less Than They’re Worth, A solid, vertically integrated trend that’s the darling of gardeners and waitresses as well as everyone in the entertainment industry who actually does something.
Of course the third jewel in this Trend Triple Crown is Not Doing Anything and Getting Paid For It, one of the most enduring trends in trend history.Once the Refusing To Work Trend cools off, we predict that Cryptic, Intractable TV Series involving people we care nothing about will continue to reign over top-tier subscription TV networks.Next up appears to be a post-apocalyptic drama about a money-laundering family of Eckankar adherents who can turn invisible at will and can read the minds of bald people.
Speaking of, Baldness is the trend that just won’t go away, as more and more of the cultural elite opt for losing their own hair naturally, or else jumping on the other burgeoning trend, Filthy-Looking Whole-Head Stubble. These days it takes a stylist two hours and six hundred dollars to make a star look like a Devil’s Island inmate.
Of course Relentless Bone-Shattering Stupidity is a trend for the ages, now fortified with the hottest trend of the decade, Making a Complete Ass of Yourself in Public. Coupled with the exciting trend for young women, Waking Up in Vegas in a Pool of Your Own Sick, this trend shows exciting possibilities for the coming year.
Speaking of the media, Making Famous People Look Stupid is as predicted taking the place of actual news reporting all over the airwaves, as is Giving Opinions on Things You Know Nothing About, which first ascended with the salad days of cable news networks and now is positioned to sweep the media. The one fly in the ointment seems to be a handful of reporters at newspapers and certain magazines, who seem to believe that the news should be scrutinized rather than barked out by a white man in a nice suit.
So what do you do when you’re not making a complete ass of yourself? Micro-Pets are all the rage, genetically mutated Chihuahuas that weigh three ounces are showing up in the pockets and demitasse cups of glitterati worldwide. Disturbing in its own right, nonetheless sub-pound dogs are filling the trend gap left by the downturn of Killing Animals For Fun.
Running For Office is making a comeback this year, and we can expect that more and more people will hop on the bandwagon and run for something. And once again we predict that the follow-up trend, Being Qualified to Actually Do One’s Job will make a sharp downturn in on the heels of the general election.In Fashion,
Nudity is the latest look, as beautiful people everywhere adorn themselves with themselves. Admittedly it’s not a trend for everyone, in fact the entire cast of Rifftrax has been barred from being nude at any time in the coming year, including Wearing an Old-Fashioned Mens Swimsuit while bathing.
Finally, Some Quick Trend Predictions:
- France will become the fifty-first state. Former Alaska Senator Robert “Mike” Gravel will be elected Governor.
- A Chimpanzee will win the World Series of Poker.
- iPods will be shown to cause a loss in bone density.
- Mayonnaise will overtake salsa as America’s favorite condiment (Thanks to the state of France).
- Our next President will be Patrick Swayze.
Send Us Your Trends! We need your help in building up the 2008 trend database. Send us your trends for the January TrendWatch column, and if we publish them you’ll be named an Official Rifftrax Trendspotter.That’s all from TrendWatch. Have a Trendy New Year!