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Trendwatch – Year-End Wrapup

December 31st, 2007 by Kevin Murphy · 19 Comments

trendwatchIt’s been a great year for trends in general, which show no signs of trending down. This year saw a near-record number of tendencies become avocations, several skipping the penchant stage and quickly becoming full-blown trends. Let’s take a look at the trends that were the trendiest, and which trends will set the trend for the year to come.

refusing to WorkRefusing To Work, the hottest trend among TV and film writers coast-to-coast, trended way up at the end of the year and shows no signs of going away. This infrequent and usually brief trend invariably shows up on the heels of one of Show Business’s favorite trend, Paying Hard-Working People Far Less Than They’re Worth, A solid, vertically integrated trend that’s the darling of gardeners and waitresses as well as everyone in the entertainment industry who actually does something.

Of course the third jewel in this Trend Triple Crown is Not Doing Anything and Getting Paid For It, one of the most enduring trends in trend history.Once the Refusing To Work Trend cools off, we predict that Cryptic, Intractable TV Series involving people we care nothing about will continue to reign over top-tier subscription TV networks.Next up appears to be a post-apocalyptic drama about a money-laundering family of Eckankar adherents who can turn invisible at will and can read the minds of bald people.baldness

Speaking of, Baldness is the trend that just won’t go away, as more and more of the cultural elite opt for losing their own hair naturally, or else jumping on the other burgeoning trend, Head StubbleFilthy-Looking Whole-Head Stubble. These days it takes a stylist two hours and six hundred dollars to make a star look like a Devil’s Island inmate.stupidity

Of course Relentless Bone-Shattering Stupidity is a trend for the ages, now fortified with the hottest trend of the decade, Making a Complete Ass of Yourself in Public. Coupled with the exciting trend for young women, Waking Up in Vegas in a Pool of Your Own Sick, this trend shows exciting possibilities for the coming year.

Speaking of the media, Making Famous People Look Stupid is as predicted taking the place of actual news reporting all over the airwaves, as is Giving Opinions on Things You Know Nothing About, which first ascended with the salad days of cable news networks and now is positioned to sweep the media. The one fly in the ointment seems to be a handful of reporters at newspapers and certain magazines, who seem to believe that the news should be scrutinized rather than barked out by a white man in a nice suit.

micro-petsSo what do you do when you’re not making a complete ass of yourself? Micro-Pets are all the rage, genetically mutated Chihuahuas that weigh three ounces are showing up in the pockets and demitasse cups of glitterati worldwide. Disturbing in its own right, nonetheless sub-pound dogs are filling the trend gap left by the downturn of Killing Animals For Fun.

Running for Office
Running For Office
is making a comeback this year, and we can expect that more and more people will hop on the bandwagon and run for something. And once again we predict that the follow-up trend, Being Qualified to Actually Do One’s Job will make a sharp downturn in on the heels of the general election.nudityIn Fashion,

Nudity is the latest look, as beautiful people everywhere adorn themselves with themselves. Admittedly it’s not a trend for everyone, in fact the entire cast of Rifftrax has been barred from being nude at any time in the coming year, including Wearing an Old-Fashioned Mens Swimsuit while bathing.

Finally, Some Quick Trend Predictions:

  • France will become the fifty-first state. Former Alaska Senator Robert “Mike” Gravel will be elected Governor.
  • A Chimpanzee will win the World Series of Poker.
  • iPods will be shown to cause a loss in bone density.
  • Mayonnaise will overtake salsa as America’s favorite condiment (Thanks to the state of France).
  • Our next President will be Patrick Swayze.

Send Us Your Trends! We need your help in building up the 2008 trend database. Send us your trends for the January TrendWatch column, and if we publish them you’ll be named an Official Rifftrax Trendspotter.That’s all from TrendWatch. Have a Trendy New Year!

Tags: Kevin · RiffTrax · Riffer Blogs · Trends

19 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Wesley Johnson on Dec 31, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    One trend that I hope to see continue is ridding others coat tails to success.

    Prior to the release of the last volume in the Harry Potter series, I noticed the folks at Muggle.net, a Potter fan-site, released a book entitled “What Will Happen in Harry Potter 7.” I’d imagine they hoped many would forget Harry Potter 7 came out a few months after their book. Nerds will often spend money on produces no matter how pointless they are. Instead of waiting for the last book, they could pay $15 for some fan-boy speculation. Sweet.

    That book was almost as pointless as Nascar For Dummies, which also actually exists. I mean, if you’re dumb, odds are you know plenty about Nascar. I know that’s the case for 85 percent of my family.

  • 2 Chris P. on Dec 31, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    Well Kevin, according to Phil Hellmuth, several donkeys have already won the WSOP, so a chimpanzee taking home a bracelet shouldn’t come as too big a shock.

    I think the trend of “Micro Incarceration” will continue with renewed vigor in ‘08. The California Bar Association will publish a new formula that will base jail sentences on the perceived fame of the defendant, the number of offences committed by said defendant (…known as the Lohan addendum), and the number of paparazzi they are likely to attract.

    Using this rough outline, a red-hot starlet of the moment charged with vehicular homicide will serve only a two hour sentence near the vending machines in the lobby of the LA County Sheriff’s office.

    Also, by late ‘08, the “celebrity perp walk/drive” will count as one-hundred hours of community service.

    Happy New Year folks!!

  • 3 Natureboy (Ken) on Dec 31, 2007 at 5:38 pm

    The Rail Thin Hollywood actress trend will continue. All female movie roles will be recast if your actress weighs over 57 pounds (Americans hate those 110 pound pockchops on the screens lately).

    Tmz will offically become the fourth branch of the US government.

    Hate to spoil your fun Kevin, But the next US President will be poker announcer Norman Chad. Under the Chad doctrine, terrorists will all be forced to watch 12 hours of his “best” jokes from WSOP.

    The Woodstock hall-of-fame will be built…..and the favorite attraction will be the Electric Color Kool-aid vomit wing.

  • 4 Drewsolo "lunchpail" on Dec 31, 2007 at 8:36 pm

    um ….. Happy New Year Bill, Mike, Kevin, and to everyone at Rifftrax.

  • 5 Tim on Dec 31, 2007 at 10:11 pm

    Kevin, where do you see the trend going in the area of Rifftrax Folks Wearing Upsetting ‘Sexy Santa’s Helper’ Outfits Around The Office?

    I’d also like to call attention to the continued uptrend of Downward-Spiraling Young Actresses Drunkenly Wrecking Automobiles At A Kelsey Grammerian Rate.

  • 6 “Sticks” on Dec 31, 2007 at 11:38 pm

    I think the next big trend in 2008 will be trendwatching.

  • 7 Kei on Jan 1, 2008 at 1:04 am

    Kevin, where do you see the trend going in the area of Rifftrax Folks Wearing Upsetting ‘Sexy Santa’s Helper’ Outfits Around The Office?

    I can only pray that was a bizarre, isolated incidence.

    That being said, Kevin wears fishnets better than I do. Which isn’t really much of a feat.

  • 8 Kei on Jan 1, 2008 at 2:11 am

    Hey. Where are all the good trends? Why not Intelligent, Creative Movies Are Made and Actually Seen By the General Public or the Permanent Exile of Inebriated Celebutantes for Constant and Unwanted… Existences? Maybe I ask too much.

    Well, there’s been an Upsurge of Trashy Pseudo-Reality Shows starring obnoxious rich (yet hardly famous) people getting laid. That seems to be passing for entertainment nowadays.

    I also think we haven’t seen the end of last year’s popular Superhero Movie Franchises That You Thought Were Finally Dead and Buried until you stumbled across pictures from the set of ‘The Incredible Hulk’ (2008). 3 more Spider-Man movies? I wish I knew why… I really, really do.

    There’s the Increasing Worldwide Domination of YouTube, now allowing average folks to affect the politics of the country. Yes, the same demographic that made this the 2nd most watched video of all time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ25-glGRzI

    But let’s be thankful. Without all of these shameful displays of society at its finest, we wouldn’t have the Never-ending Wave of Cannon Fodder for the rest of us, most of whom have found their way to the RiffTrax blog.

    Just… tryin’ to be positive.

  • 9 Kei on Jan 1, 2008 at 2:12 am

    Wow. Do I ever suck at bolding.

  • 10 Neb on Jan 1, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Re. the “rail thin” thing: I’ve been doing a bit of modeling lately, and I so adore casting calls that stipulate “at least 5′9″ and dress size no larger than 6″. SIX? Yet the industry brass continue to insist that “heroin chic” is a thing of the past. Yeah, right. They honestly think they’re being generous with the size 6 cutoff, too. The hubby and I have been watching season 2 of “House” lately (love our local library!), and we can’t get through an episode without him saying something like “that woman shouldn’t wear low necklines: she’s too bony” or “that girl is painfully thin, ouch”. He’s right. While our leading men are pumping iron and popping shirt buttons (which is fine by me), our principal actresses have somehow taken the 70s retro fashions to the extreme of imitating the 70s anorexic body type, too. Just stop it already!

  • 11 Hugh on Jan 1, 2008 at 11:33 am

    You know, when I think “trendy,” I think “Kevin Murphy.” I just want you to know that.

  • 12 Kevin Murphy on Jan 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Why, Thank you, Hugh. Maybe if enough people considered me trendy…

  • 13 Ken on Jan 1, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    how can Kevin be trendy? He has yet to spend any time in the LA county jail. Maybe if he made a sex tape (Oh God! I made myself sick!).

  • 14 Chris P. on Jan 1, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    Sex tapes are sooooo two years ago! These days the road to instant (…and often, unwanted) fame is being discovered, often by a member of a local law enforcement agency, in the men’s room of an international airport.

    O.k., that image was even more unsettling.

  • 15 Katie M. on Jan 2, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    Here’s a trend you can set your watch to……

    Hollywood will continue their ceaseless campaign to convince the world that Keira Knightley is some sort of ball-busting Amazonian chick when in reality if she were to actually hold a *real* sword like the ones she wields in the Pirates movie, she’d snap in two like a toothpick trying to support a steel beam. Hooray!

  • 16 Dim of the Yard on Jan 2, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    Hey, under “Baldness” (sorry, not even going to attempt the bolding, too lazy), does that prominent forehead just off to the left belong to Sean Connery? Just out of curiosity.

  • 17 Brian O. on Jan 3, 2008 at 4:23 am

    Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t the flurry of Golden Globes being tossed out to everyone who figured out how to splice a reel together without cutting off their thumbs in the process strike anyone… Well… Like Hollywood was pulling a spoiled little kid “Well, we don’t need you ANYWAY!!!” tantrum?

    They could film Morgan Freeman reading TV Guide out loud and probably get nominated for a dozen GGs. Are those the movie industry’s equivilent of Grammies?

  • 18 Dave-o on Jan 4, 2008 at 1:46 am

    Well Kevin, with writer strikes and such and the percieved downfall of late night talk shows, i believe Reruns are the wave of the future. Dallas and The Mary Tyler Moore show will break records! Soon the TVLAND franchise will become equivalent to NBC,ABC or CBS. Also set for ‘08 Ryan Seacrest will host the finale of American Idol in drag and bring the ungodly reign of American Idol to an end, but generate an underground buzz amongst transvestites. (ok, i have to take a shower after that…) In the world of sports, in order to generate faith in major league baseball, Team owners will banish all players rumored to have used performance enhancing drugs. While the spirit of sportsmanship rises, ticket sales and television ratings will plummet due to “minor league” performance placing MLB between Womens handball and catfish fisting. Meanwhile the former MLB stars will all live in a gym/house voting each other off and fighting to the death in “Gauntlet-a-saurus Rex” The CW will pick up the series hoping to project above par ratings but it will last only one season due to competition from “American Gladiators” And that Kevin will be trends in 2008.

  • 19 Kevin Murphy on Jan 10, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Why yesh, it shertainly doesh.

    -kwm