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When In Rome, Pose Next to a Giant Salami

December 31st, 2007 by Conor Lastowka · 8 Comments

I returned last night from a fantastic vacation to Rome, and have documented some of the highlights. Please click on each photo for a larger image.

Presenting Caricature

Every time I travel to a new city, I bring along a caricature of myself and give it to a local. Here I am seen presenting it to a confused Italian caricature artistt.

Gucci vs Pucci

As I stood on this street corner in the high end shopping district pondering where to spend $6000 dollars on a designer bag, I wondered, “Do people debate the superiority of Gucci vs Pucci on internet forums?”

Giant Salami

This is not an actual salami, it is merely a half scale replica of the one that Jorge Garcia ate when he stopped into this shop in May, 2006.

Bocca della Verita

This is La Bocca della Verita. An Italian “Blarney Stone” of sorts, you stick your hand in the mouth and if you tell a lie, it bites your hand off. Evidently it plays a prominent role in “Roman Holiday”, which I guess is some sort of indie film starring two unknown actors, Audridge Hepburn and Gregory Pock.

Trash Can della Verita

The line was too long, so we started our own tradition, La Garbage Can della Verita. If you lie while sticking your hand in, a rat bites your hand. (This picture taken just before rat bite and subsequent swelling occurred.)

Horse Statue

This statue of Marcus Aurelius is located in the Piazza del Campidoglio, which was designed by Michelangelo. One of our guidebooks describes it thusly: “Perhaps the most perfect public space ever built – a marvel of harmony and elegance.” (Theodore K. Rabb, Historian, Princeton University). I hope in their next edition they also include “Take a picture of me under those!” (Conor Lastowka, Writer, RiffTrax)

Death 'n Abe

This carving was displayed in the Vatican Museum. It is entitled “Death Waits Out Abe Vigoda.”

Boar with Glasses

Sienan lore has it that if you take a picture of yourself imitating this glasses-wearing wild boar head and nobody punches you in the face for being a touristy doofus, you will have good luck in the new year.

Portrait

My family got a great rate on a huge, ornately decorated apartment right near the Spanish Steps, but the only catch was that at all times somebody must sit in front of the portrait of the eccentric owner with a lit candle. This was taken on Christmas morning at 4:36 AM.

Agip

The mascot of Italian gas station chain “Agip” bewilders me. It’s some sort of six legged, fire-breathing dog. In the backstory I’ve invented for him, his fifth leg is prosthetic, he drinks diesel for breakfast, (unleaded for dinner), and rewards good children with a ride on his flying submarine.

And that’s it! Happy New Year to all and may your 2008 be full of riffing!

Tags: RiffTrax · silly

8 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Bill Corbett on Dec 31, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Conor, welcome back!

    Three points:

    1) Someone switched your caricature with a photo of Rowan Atkinson.

    2) Abe Vigoda is surprisingly buff.

    3) Pucci ALL THE WAY, man. Gucci are just a bunch of *$@&^!*& Pucci wannabes.

    bc
    2)

  • 2 Bill Corbett on Dec 31, 2007 at 1:04 pm

    Heh…

    pay no attention to that stray “2)”!

    (tap dances away)

  • 3 doggans on Dec 31, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    Hey, now, Bill, there are starving children in third world countries who would LOVE to have that stray “2)”! How could you be so wasteful?

  • 4 Mike Nelson on Dec 31, 2007 at 11:30 pm

    I’m just happy that Tom Green was re-gifted (is it hyphenated still? Has the word trended-up [trendedup? uptrended?] enough to lose the hyphen?) with Conor’s caricature.

  • 5 Neb on Jan 1, 2008 at 10:52 am

    Any plans for a large-format, coffee table-type art book entitled “Equestrian Statues of the World”? I hope not. Thanks for sharing your holiday with us! Happy New Year!

  • 6 Clint on Jan 1, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Hey, I was in Rome one year ago today. In fact, we went to the New Years Day mass at the Vatican and even got to see P. Rizzy.

    I considered trying to get the Pope to pose with me for a picture where we’re both flashing the sign of the beast with fierce grimaces (would have been awesome), but the Swiss Guard would have probably rapier-ed me full of holes like so much Swiss cheese.

  • 7 Jason Martian aka Riff Martian on Jan 3, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    I missed the giant salami when I was there!

    Where was that?

  • 8 威哥王 on Jun 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    I considered trying to get the Pope to pose with me for a picture where we’re both flashing the sign of the beast with fierce grimaces (would have been awesome), but the Swiss Guard would have probably rapier-ed me full of holes like so much Swiss cheese.