I just had an astonishing revelation. Next year will be the last year that we, (we = idiots), can wear the New Years Eve 2-0-0-X glasses. These glasses of course made their debut at the turn of the milennium and have an astonishingly long shelf life, (13 years by my count.) But as 2010 rapidly approaches, the countless factories, (no doubt located smack dab in the American heartland), will be forced to close their doors. This could very well put Oriental Trading Company out of business.
So if you’d like to make yourself staggering amounts of money for the next 90 years, I suggest you think of a way to keep manufacturing novelty glasses that people wear for one night a year and then promptly discard. If nobody can make it happen, we’ll always have the memories and photos to prompt untold levels of scorn from future generations.
5 responses so far ↓
1 Mario "Asteroid" Panighetti on Jan 2, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Maybe they’ll try to carry it on for another year by squishing “2010″ tightly enough to use both zeroes for eyes. After that, we’ll just have to lose the use of our left eyes, obscured behind a 1 for a decade or so. But really, isn’t loss of depth perception a small price to pay for novelty 20XX glasses?
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Reply from Curds on January 2, 2008:
Or maybe it’s a giant Darwinian scheme culminating in the 2010 (or 2011) glasses’ digit poking out every idiot who wears one. If that’s the case, then I highly support this endeavor.
2 Kei on Jan 2, 2008 at 7:09 pm
Hey, I’m sure there are still people who can enjoy 20xx glasses for the next nine decades. Pirates, for one. And the descendants of Polyphemus. Greasy kids after trying to look seductive on their MySpace pictures. Anyone who’s ever encountered a cat before.
Stereoscopic vision is so last year.
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3 Tim on Jan 2, 2008 at 10:44 pm
It doesn’t really matter what numbers are used…three quarters of the people wearing them can’t see once they are halfway into their bottle of Butterscotch Ripple Schnapps.
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4 Brian O. on Jan 3, 2008 at 4:12 am
Just make the 1s with a large outline, toss in the lens insert and you’ll have a working pair of sunglasses. Sure, you’ll look a little like Spider Jerusalem, but you’ll be able to Matrix style dodge bullets with the best of them. Whoops, lost my balance *thud*.
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