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I, Tube.

January 9th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 28 Comments

Its tentacles reaching into every corner of our conscious and subconscious minds, YouTube is poised to make slaves of us all…

Let me back up.

Recently I received a link to a cute, and apparently ubiquitous YouTube video (and I know there are plenty of non-cute ubiquitous YouTubes, like that twisted freak wailing about Britney). It’s a video of two cute little English kids, one of whom…

…wait, what am I saying? I’m always the last person on planet Earth to know about pop-culture phenoms, so you’re way ahead of me.

But in the event that there’s someone, somewhere, even a smidgen less hip than me — perhaps that last holdout Japanese soldier, just emerging from a cave on an atoll in the South Pacific — here it is:

Cute, absolutely. These little tykes from across the briney are very charming. I’d never say otherwise.

But is that any reason why every person breathing oxygen should know about them, and — even weirder — want to BE them?

Below: people who want to be adorable little English kids. On camera. Many of them. (And there are many more, but I had to stop somewhere lest I break this blog.)

…Slaves of us ALL, I tell you! Get that tinfoil over your head, NOW…

Tags: RiffTrax

28 responses so far ↓

  • 1 SarahCanuck on Jan 9, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    Ew.
    That about covers it.

  • 2 chris (smiley) on Jan 9, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    I agree. Ew.

  • 3 Kei on Jan 9, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    Those people could’ve at least put more effort into looking like infants and toddlers. Babies don’t wear hoodies. Someone should’ve shaved his or her head and put on a onesie.

    I mean, you don’t wanna look ridiculous.

  • 4 YITBOS on Jan 9, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    I can honestly say I never heard or seen anything about this video before today. I could have gone without seeing it. Ever.

    And I’m actually not a newly emerging Japanese soldier emerging from a cave.

    I do, however, have a strong personal philosophy *against* YouTube. Not the whole upload-your-videos-for-free thing… But it’s the side-effect from that concept that I want to avoid.

    YouTube could/should/(is?) a great medium for emerging artists to publish their work, become discovered, and find an audience. If only it that is where it ended.

    Mostly YouTube reminds me–or at least confirms–that the world *IS* actually over-populated with tools. You know, the kind of people who *enjoy* reality TV. And when I am reminded of this, I become depressed. Because I know these people are going to (somehow) mate and produce offspring.

    Actually, that cave on an atoll in the South Pacific is starting to look pretty good.

  • 5 Mr. Slick on Jan 9, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    I am NOT a slave to the great & mighty YouTube!
    Have you ever asked yourself: “What does YouTube have instore for my life?”
    Hmmm?

  • 6 Eddie Colton on Jan 9, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    I’m not even going to go there. But I do get it. And I feel your pain, Bill.

    Then again, I just riffed Batman & Robin… to be like YOU. So am I really any better than those idiots on YouTube? Yes. Yes, I am.

  • 7 Edgewriter on Jan 9, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    Hah! You Rube

  • 8 Botchinator on Jan 10, 2008 at 6:40 am

    There is something about a man sucking another man’s finger that just screams BLURGUBA…erm i mean cute.

  • 9 Courtney on Jan 10, 2008 at 7:32 am

    I was just exposed to this. My friend and I were discussing babies and I said I just want my kid to turn out British (and in doing so I unknowingly ripped off Nick Swardson) and he then forwarded me this link. And I thought, aw mildly precious. Then I saw the view count. Millions? Really? Are you kidding me now? Ridiculous. Get a hobby people. I think that 2 Girls 1 Cup is still out there.

  • 10 Bill Corbett on Jan 10, 2008 at 8:28 am

    “Have you ever asked yourself: “What does YouTube have instore for my life?”

    Only GREAT things, I’m sure! :) :) :) :) :)

    *
    *
    *
    (Sorry, but YouTube was standing right behind me… I was scared…)

  • 11 Mr. Slick on Jan 10, 2008 at 8:31 am

    I understand Bill, its everywhere & knows all.

    (the revolutions starts at midnight…pass it on!)

  • 12 Bill Corbett on Jan 10, 2008 at 8:34 am

    “I just want my kid to turn out British”

    I’m raising my kids as Belgians. It’s not easy keeping them away from the English language at every turn, but god is it worth it.

  • 13 Rufus T. on Jan 10, 2008 at 9:32 am

    Are your kids going to become detectives and move to England in order to make good use of their little grey cells?

  • 14 Mr. Slick on Jan 10, 2008 at 9:54 am

    May I recommend turning your children Japanese? I hear it’s quite popular!

  • 15 Courtney on Jan 10, 2008 at 12:02 pm

    I thought about having them start out just mildly Canadian then then just upping the ante till they’re full on Cockney. And wear monocles.

  • 16 Neb on Jan 10, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    Babies and toddlers: feh, I say! I’m sticking with the cats:

    And the best adaptation:

  • 17 Neb on Jan 10, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    OK, once more with links that (I hope) work.

    Original:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3U0udLH974

    Adaptation:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56HNf3Qw9io

  • 18 Chris Fronczak on Jan 10, 2008 at 1:29 pm

    I’m going to raise my kids as eccentric billionaires, I figure if they adopt the persona, then the money will just come flooding in.

  • 19 dignan on Jan 10, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Boy, Nick Park’s recent stuff just isn’t all that funny. This video needs more thieving penguin-roosters.

  • 20 Ninjew on Jan 10, 2008 at 4:29 pm

    C’mon Bill, make up your mind!
    First you want to bring them up British, now you change your mind, and want to bring them up Belgian. You sure know how to waffle…

  • 21 Neb on Jan 10, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    I say stick with the Belgian thing. It’s not trendy, and they can grow up to be stylish genius detectives.

  • 22 WaffleTron on Jan 10, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    Hey Bill,

    This is another AMAZING YouTube kid video:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fVDGu82FeQ

  • 23 Bill Corbett on Jan 10, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Blud-AH.

    Bah, that kid hasn’t even reached 3 million views yet. Shameful!

  • 24 Rufus T. on Jan 10, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    I’ll see your Blud-AH. And I’ll raise you this!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk&feature=related

  • 25 Halsgoddess on Jan 10, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    That baby’s laugh was positively Satanic, lol. That’s an evil mastermind in the works, that is.

  • 26 Hotbox F. Mellonhead on Jan 11, 2008 at 7:13 am

    Yes, but do you like turtles?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y

    There were a LOT of strange copycats to this one.

  • 27 WaffleTron on Jan 11, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Alright, Rufus, hope you still check this blog (even with a few newer ones popping up). Prepare for cuteness previously unimaginable to man:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=cXXm696UbKY

  • 28 A.M.P. on Jan 14, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    And to think I spent months of blissful ignorance in which I thought the thousands of people trying to be Leroy Jenkins or the hundreds of knockoffs and reenactments of Charlie the Unicorn were the most concrete proof that the morons of the world are spawning and have reached a peak in breeding these last few years. Oh no. This is much, much worse. *shudder*

    I suggest we get some hunting season regulations lifted so we can thin out their numbers, restore balance to the ecosystem, and never have to see another Wilford Brimley “diabeetus” funky remix music video again.