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What the Hell is Going On?!

January 15th, 2008 by Kevin Murphy · 19 Comments

Man. I step away for two minutes and I find yet another conspiracy simmering away right under our very noses.

Dame Edith Sitwell

This is Dame Edith Sitwell, Woman of Letters, esteemed poet, critic, novelist, droll defender of literary modernism. She died in 1964 at the age of 77….Or did she?

Trent Reznor

This is “Trent Reznor,” as she now calls herself. There’s no mistaking it: Dame Edith is alive, beyond all explanation, and pummeling us with angry, self-pitying dirges like “My Violent Heart.”

The inexpicable

See? Right down to the three-day mustache. Come on folks, stay on your toes! Do we really want anachronistic poetesses serving up our apocalyptic industrial metal? I for one think not.

**UPDATE BY BILL: Excuse me for intruding, Kevin. But this whole thing goes much deeper than you think. Observe:

artistguitars.jpg

snape35up.jpg

Update by Mike (with thanks to reader Yanni)

EMO

“I was wondering… if you had read my book ‘I Lived under a Black Sun’? I MEAN, if you’d seen my eccentric stand-up act. Yeah, that’s it.”

Unbelievably Important Update by Mike

GinaHecht1

Match Game contestant and TV character actress Gina Hecht is in on it! I repeat, MATCH GAME CONTESTANT AND TV CHARACTER ACTRESS GINA HECHT IS IN ON IT!!

Tags: Creepitometry · In the Media · Kevin · RiffTrax · Riffer Blogs · Trends

19 responses so far ↓

  • 1 mrbasehart on Jan 15, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    I think the lack of FW Murnau lighting in that second picture is helping with the disguise. Kudos to you for the discovery, though!

  • 2 NotMerrittStone on Jan 15, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    Your head, it reminds me of a hole
    The blackness of it, as one might regard your soul
    I, good sir, would rather give of my life,
    Then give unto you, control.

  • 3 "Digits" on Jan 15, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Wow. She looks great for 121 years old. She’s one feisty lady. You wouldn’t expect a grandma to sing “I wanna F*** you like an animal.

  • 4 Eddie Colton on Jan 15, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Hey, Kev… streeeeeetch.

    So close there, Kevin. So close, and yet, I’m afraid your discovery doesn’t sitwell with me.

    While your efforts are noble, you have only scratched the surface of this vast conspiracy.

    I shall now, at great personal risk, unveil the shocking secrets of the lineage of Ms. Sitwell.

    She is not, as you suggest, disguising herself as Trent Reznor, but is related to his close, personal friend, Mr. Marilyn Manson, formerly known as Mr. Brian Warner.

    However this is not merely a case of new identity. As you can see from this picture, Mr. Manson (right) bears a striking resemblance to his father, Hugh Warner (middle).

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v113/bratpop/misc/mansonfamily.jpg

    Yes, it is irrefutable that Mr. Manson is an exact clone of his own father. And as such, being a direct descendant of Ms. Sitwell, is not the same person, but in fact her male clone.

    I hope you’re happy, Mr. Murphy. You have just opened a can of worms which, now brought to light, will assuredly bring about the Clone Wars of 2008. And all while Bush is still in office. This shall, henceforth, be known as the blog that was heard around the world.

  • 5 Walter on Jan 15, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    I knew Alan Rickman was hiding something!!!

  • 6 Yanni on Jan 15, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    actually, Edith Sitwell bears an uncanny resemblance to Emo Philips…

  • 7 Botchinator on Jan 15, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Must be clones, or super genetic humans manufactured from the same mold.

  • 8 Tim on Jan 15, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    Yacht

  • 9 Mr. Slick on Jan 15, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    my head hurts

  • 10 Brian O. on Jan 16, 2008 at 12:25 am

    The conspiracy goes deeper than you think! The owls are not what they seem!
    http://filip.stir.org/images/comics_animation/slide0016_image009.jpg

  • 11 Kevin Murphy on Jan 16, 2008 at 7:00 am

    Well send in the clones. There ought to be clones.
    Well, maybe, next ye-aaugh-acchhkjskzxhk – (sound of Kevin being strangled by his fellow Riffers)

  • 12 Carpeteria on Jan 18, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    that gum you like is going to come back in style…

    http://www.laist.com/attachments/la_lisab/log2.jpg

  • 13 dASH on Jan 23, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    omg… i have a huge crush on alan rickman as snape… now i feel so… so… dirty. thanks. expect my therapy bills in the mail.

  • 14 LDT on Jan 25, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    Ah!

    I was subjected to all of the Harry Potter Movies over the holidays and through out I kept refering to that Alan Rickman character as “that Trent Reznor guy”…

  • 15 KELLI on Feb 6, 2008 at 8:30 am

    yeah-and I wanted to be the one to find it-crap!!

  • 16 KELLI on Feb 6, 2008 at 8:31 am

    You and me both! If you find a good shrink can you hook me up??

  • 17 Alan Rickman on Mar 3, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Well, I see “the jig is up” as you Americans say. My true identity has been discovered.

    I’d like to take this time to apologize to all of you good folks in “TVland,” as I believe it’s called in the states, for putting up with my shenaigans for so long. By shenaigans, I mean of course all of these dreadful, vomit provoking Harry Potter films I’ve been a part of. I’m sorry.
    When I was born over 120 years ago as a woman, I’d never thought I’d end my varied career playing a pent up wizard in a horrible film series and have my “multiple identities” ousted on a website that is maintained by people who were once on a puppet show. But I must say, good work to all of you, especially you, Joel, and you too Mr. Weinstein. I must say that I never did like the other Tom Servo guy, he made the puppet seem so gay! Anyway, good work and ta ta for now!!

  • 18 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 10:43 am

    Wow… it’s the real Alan Rickman!! STAR OF STAGE, SCREEN, CAT FOOD COMMERCIALS AND BAD CHILDREN’S FILMS!! This comment is definitely from him, not some weirdo who is pretending to be him… no, not at all! 100% real celebrity! And how funny that he uses American slang in quotes, and also doesn’t realize that he mixed up these riffers with “those other riffers.”
    Truly comedy hilarity at it’s finest!

  • 19 emoboy on Oct 21, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    Hey, i’ve got pictures of my new emo hair style
    at http://tinyurl.com/59ps64