The RiffTrax Blog header image 1

Poo Coffee Follow-up

January 30th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 55 Comments

kopi luwak

This morning, I brewed and served the Kopi Luwak to RiffTrax and Legend staff. Some actual quotes from those brave enough to drink it:

“That was some good s**t!”

“…Smoother than the poop it was pulled from.”

“A unique aroma and a rich, earthy flavor make this a coffee I’m not quite sure I’d ever want to drink again.”


For my part I thought it was the best animal excreta I’ve ever tasted, and a pretty decent cup of coffee. Like a Sumatra, only less funky. (A coffee geek explanation of why Sumatra coffee is funky after the jump.)

Glad you joined me for this coffee geek out: Sumatran coffees are funky due to the lower altitude growing region, the distinct strain of Arabica, and, probably most importantly, they are generally dry-processed. That is, the fruit of the coffee cherry is dried before being removed, as opposed to the wet processing method where the cherry is either fermented in water and removed, or scrubbed off by machine and rinsed.

Now, on to the serious question of just what in the heck is wrong with Carrot Top’s face?

carrot top8

Anyone have any idea? Is he actually a zombie clown? Is it Lucille Ball? Is his eye liner clashing with his hair?

Tags: RiffTrax

55 responses so far ↓

  • 1 chellie on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    I want to thank you for the excrement link. I may never eat again.

  • 2 "Digits" on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    Carrot top has really nice hair- I’m totally jealous. Why do guys have such nice hair?
    Part of his problem is that he has OVERplucked his eyebrows- they need to be closer to his nose.
    Also? You can keep you poop coffee, I’ll stick to my nice safe evil corporate giant coffee Starbucks.

  • 3 attaturk on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm

    So, will poo-based coffee reviews be a “regular” feature?

  • 4 Ninjew on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    That’s not Carrot Top.

    That’s Lucille Ball!!

  • 5 wurwolf on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    What the hell is wrong with you, man? I expect to read a nice discourse on the merits of poop coffee only to be confronted with the insane visage of Carrot Top.

    Right back at ya.

  • 6 The Dave on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    This makes me reevaluate my addiction to Chocolate-Covered Espresso Beans…

  • 7 Michael on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    Mike have you ever been to Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans? They put chickory in their coffee and it makes it really syruppy. Best coffee I’ve ever had.

  • 8 Botchinator on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    That’s just weird man. I have nothing witty to say.

    I say to myself
    “Self, do you want to drink some Poofee?”
    I reply to myself
    “Self, no thanks, I’m already full of enough of it as is.”

  • 9 Barry on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Thank god for the “Nuke Anything Enhanced” plugin for Firefox. It only took a right click and a left click to purge my vision of the sight of… er… I suppose that was Carrot Top. I’m too busy purging it from my mind’s eye now to be certain.

    Anyway, glad you and your buds enjoyed your poo coffee!

  • 10 MikeP on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:48 pm

    That’s disgusting! (The Sumatra stuff, I mean. Dry-processed? What were they thinking?)

  • 11 Mike Nelson on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Aaaaagggghhhhhh! I’m sorry! I’ll never, ever, ever post a picture of Carrot Top again! *

    *(May not be true.)

  • 12 Courtney on Jan 30, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    Egads. Sandra Bernhardt is not aging well.

  • 13 Onil on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    Maybe it’s a wax statue of Carrot Top.

  • 14 MarkM on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    Who was the first man or woman to say “I bet these beans would taste better if they ran through yards of feline entrails”? Who, I ask you, Who??

  • 15 wurwolf on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:21 pm

    Hey Court, I’ve been meaning to reply to you for the longest time. Great to see you! Last I remember, you were getting ready to go to your prom and Onil was threatening to run down your date with a steak knife if he got too grabby. Good times! :D

  • 16 “Sticks” on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:24 pm

    Juan Valdez. He noticed what passing through human entrails did for baggies of cocaine, and acted accordingly.

  • 17 Riff-Martian on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    Boy am I glad I don’t work in the office!

  • 18 The Professor on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    On an unrelated note: What happened to Pruane2Forever… were we being too cruel?

  • 19 Mike Nelson on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Some of the other stuff on his site is a little, well, unsavory. I think a judicious phone call to the local authorities is more fitting than boosting his notoriety.

  • 20 Jacob Gibson on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Yeah, its kids like him that make me fear for the future…

  • 21 Bill Corbett on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    Take THIS, Jerry [sic] Sienfeld!

  • 22 JakeS on Jan 30, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    And another piece of the puzzle falls into place

  • 23 Onil on Jan 30, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    Wait a minute. Bee Movie had bees? Making honey?! Hello! Spoiler alert next time, Bill, please. Thanks.

  • 24 Yanni on Jan 30, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Man, after that I bet we’ll never hear from Jerry Sienfeld again.

  • 25 Michael on Jan 30, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    Man I hate it when prepubscent kids have thicker moustaches then me.

  • 26 Neb on Jan 30, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    Carrot Top is just weird, period. Do you really think he plucks his brows? Look at the bone structure. He looks like he just escaped from a Benicio Del Toro film. It’s genetics.

  • 27 watertiger on Jan 30, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    I’ll have a double double decaf grande Excreta™ with soy, no foam, please. Oh, and two raw sugars.

    P.S. Carrot Top is what happens when scary clowns do ‘roids. Step away from the bench press, dude.

  • 28 NotMerrittStone on Jan 30, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    There’s a coffee roaster next door to where I work, which one might imagine to produce a wonderful array of delectable odors. Unfortunately, when they get roasting, the smell is more like burning popcorn. Hopefully their brew doesn’t taste the same, (unless burnt popcorn is the desired flavour, in which case, they completely nailed it) I haven’t been brave enough to try it.

    I’m pretty sure Carrot Top is a Wolf Raider from Valnastar.

  • 29 dignan on Jan 30, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    I’m sorry, which picture is the poo coffee and which one’s Carrot Top?

  • 30 Patrick on Jan 30, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Mike, I love this part of your Wikipedia entry:

    “Nelson is known for his goofy charm and classic “Midwestern hunk” appearance[citation needed]“.

  • 31 Yanni on Jan 30, 2008 at 8:19 pm

    actually Carrot Top looked fairly normal in the older days…

  • 32 Mr. Slick on Jan 30, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    I would make fun of Carrot Top, God knows there’s ALOT to work off from, but I am enjoying a nice glass of cat urine and am too amped!

  • 33 Dave-o on Jan 30, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    I’m glad that the poo coffee went over well, one coffee nerd to another. Saddest part is, i knew that stuff about sumatran beans. (thanks starbucks…)
    but carrot top? really? his unholy visage will haunt me the rest of my days…like carol channing wasnt enough. BTW, does that coffee log look like a payday bar to anyone else?
    That little ‘fellas poo you were drinking may have been used to make the scent in your cologne too…

  • 34 Alicia on Jan 30, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    I’m taking a picture of Carrot Top as a personal insult, as I am now too terrified to go to sleep. I’m holding this against you, Mike.

  • 35 Dave-o on Jan 30, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    i had never heard of this kid or his whole bit until this post and…im kinda sorry i did. this kid is pretty sad. i concur with jacob gleason, i fear for our future. i mean really, when i was his age i was into girls…

  • 36 Kleenex on Jan 31, 2008 at 2:56 am

    Wow. This kid has a great future on talk radio.

  • 37 Tim on Jan 31, 2008 at 4:32 am

    So basically, the author has no proof to back up his declaration that Mike is known for his “Midwestern hunk” appearance?

  • 38 Tim on Jan 31, 2008 at 4:35 am

    Carrot Top’s arms seem to be gaining more and more muscle mass by the day. There may be a link between his horrifying visage and the horse testosterone extract that he obviously injects directly into his biceps.

  • 39 Attaturk on Jan 31, 2008 at 8:28 am

    What in the name of Hubert Horatio Humphrey constitutes a “classic Midwestern hunk” appearance?

  • 40 Natureboy (Ken) on Jan 31, 2008 at 9:24 am

    Is it just me, or did that first picture remind you of the Baby Ruth / Caddyshack pool scene?

  • 41 Courtney on Jan 31, 2008 at 9:49 am

    Hi Faith! Good times indeed! Actually before I discovered you two were here, I was wishing I knew a way to contact you and see how you were!

  • 42 Courtney on Jan 31, 2008 at 9:53 am

    I was worried that somehow my likening him to a child-perp on SVU was what caused this thread to disappear. Glad to know I didn’t do it.

  • 43 Onil on Jan 31, 2008 at 10:28 am

    See Lawrence Welk.

  • 44 gammer on Jan 31, 2008 at 10:52 am

    If the pool was percolating at 195 degrees with full bodied, rich, dark water…then yes.

  • 45 Edgewriter on Jan 31, 2008 at 11:22 am

    Sexman has been a little off his game lately.


  • 46 John H. on Jan 31, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    From the site:
    “To obtain beans while still in this state they must be collected almost immediately after they are deposited on the forest floor.”

    Which brings up entertaining images of workers following around wild animals with a plastic bag, a scoop, and a bowl of bran flakes.

    (Although I’m kind of sad actually, because I know for 100% certain that if this coffee really takes off, it’s only a matter of time before the animals are captured, domesticated as far and quickly as possible, then forced to live their whole lives in cramped quarters and unhealthy conditions while their oh-so-valuable excrement is collected for mass-produced poop-coffee. Like all the other animals which we rely upon for foodstuffs….)

  • 47 Courtney on Jan 31, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    He’s back! And he’s got something to say about porn fiends!

  • 48 meg on Jan 31, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Carrot Top upsets me. I’m sleeping with the lights on.

  • 49 Brian O. on Jan 31, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Don’t make Carrot Top angry, you won’t like him when he’s angry!

  • 50 Fran in the Pan on Feb 1, 2008 at 7:56 am

    Check out Carrot Top’s rider on Smoking Gun:

    They point out “the highlight of the comic’s rider is the prohibition on one particular dessert: “Please No Carrot Cake–It’s Still Not Funny!”. If you pick a stupid comic name, don’t you have to expect the occassional ribbing? I mean, Bill, how many times have you had crows stuffed in your mailbox, and Kevin, who can forget the hoards of gumball machines you’ve received? Even Mike is not immune- how many times have you been teased about being an acoustic to electric transducer that converts sound into an electrical signal?

  • 51 Brian O. on Feb 1, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    But it’s really GREAT shit, Mrs. Presky!

  • 52 awa64 on Feb 3, 2008 at 3:09 am

    What the heck is wrong with Carrot Top’s face?

    Steroids. Steroids and unfunny, the same things that are wrong with the rest of his body.

  • 53 Adam W. on Feb 3, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    Mike, if you’re a coffee nut, I recommend trying out the aeropress. Sure it involves pouring scalding hot water into a narrow cylinder while you steady it over your mug with your hands, sure the cup could easily tip over, burning you horribly, and sure you might be doubtful of a coffee maker made by a company previously only known for their toys and various frisbees, but that’s the risk you must take for a really good cup of java.


    Disclaimer: Picture actual size, or not actual size depending on screen size and resolution of your monitor. All scalds and any other injuries resulting from trying to use aeropress as a frisbee are not the responsibility of aerobie.

  • 54 Mike Nelson on Feb 3, 2008 at 11:06 pm

    This was just included in a Wall Street Journal review of presses. Their conclusion: good coffee, bad 2nd degree hand burns. (Actually they said it made good coffee, but was overall a scary piece of gear. )

    I will, therefore, have one in my house as soon as UPS is able to get it here.

  • 55 Artist Aaronius, Formerly Known as Aaron on Feb 29, 2008 at 4:41 am

    AAAAAGGHHHHHHH! Damn the information highway!