I don’t know, what do you guys think - I’m starting to wonder whether I should see a different neurologist…
Don’t get me wrong, Professor Whizzleton J. Clambody is the best there is. Top of his class at Johns Hopkins, is considered THE authority on the influence of nociceptive input from the trigeminal nerve as being a major contributer to migraine and cluster headaches, and he is very thorough, very caring. When you’re in his office, you’ve got his attention. He is a healer and he really cares. But… there’s the thing. Is it shallow of me? I can’t help it. It’s just hard to ignore: the guy clears his throat a lot!
There, I said it. It bugs me. I’m thinking of seeing another doctor in the same clinic, comes highly recommended. I find it unlikely that he’ll have the same peculiarity…
What do you think?
(Actually, I don’t want to short change these men. They are proud participants in the World Beard and Mustache Championships, and as you can see, they’ve got game.)
*
*
[UPDATE BY BILL:]
Understood, Mike. I’m having similar misgivings about my psychiatrist. Feels petty, but I just can’t get over how much he taps his pen on the pad when making notes:
**UPDATE BY MIKE***
Understood, Bill. It reminds me of my first colonoscopy. Naturally, I had grave misgivings and was so nervous I thought I would be sick. But the gentle and confident manner of Dr. Terry “Geech” Frankowski was the tonic I needed. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. “Geech”.
*
*
[UPDATE BY BILL:]
Speaking of great doctors, Miguel…
I was crushed when I heard I’d have to have an angioplasty. “I’m way too young for that!” I thought. But with the help of famed cardiologist Dr. Roscoe Pflug, below, I got through it just fine.
Tough as the experience was, in the end I considered it a blessing in disguise. Dr. Pflug led me through the procedure with care and great information, and — most importantly — taught me how to keep healthy in the future: sensible diet, more regular exercise, etc. The man might just have saved my life, and for that I’m grateful.
17 responses so far ↓
1 mrbasehart on Feb 1, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I think the “clearing of the throat” thing might just be the facial hair furballs these guys are coughing up on a regular basis.
[Reply to this]
2 anthom on Feb 1, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I liked Dr. Z.Z. Topperson better when he dressed in black and handed out keys to his patients.
[Reply to this]
3 Ninjew on Feb 1, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Are you sure about that first guy? He looks like he graduated from the Dr. Seuss school of medicine…
[Reply to this]
4 Riff-Martian on Feb 1, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I always liked Dr. Clambody and felt that he was most helpful with my own problems… although I could never get my beard and stash to do that. He was very secretive about it.
[Reply to this]
5 Botchinator on Feb 1, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Hey that guy at the bottom also runs the meth syndicate here in KC. I guess he’s just one of those “jack of all trades” Doctor and meth distributor extraordinaire.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Tim on February 1, 2008:
Ah, a fellow citizen of Kansas City? Delightful.
Actually, I just say I’m from Kansas City, because I’m somewhat ashamed of living in its suburb, Independence, which is (honestly) regarded as the Meth Capitol of the World.
Also, why am I the first one to comment on the upsetting fact that the fat guy’s belly button is a single, vertical line?
Reply from Botchinator on February 1, 2008:
Well i’m in Shawnee, but i work in downtown.
Now, the big guy came after i posted, but the big guy, that’s an artificial gut. He is hiding something in there. Maybe he is a smuggler of some sort, or just a more realistic Quato.
6 MikeP on Feb 1, 2008 at 4:22 pm
You don’t need any of those enturbulating quacks as long as you have Scientology!
Xenu: He’s alike a colonoscopy for your brain!
[Reply to this]
7 Tim on Feb 1, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Finally deciding to change your neurologist, eh, Mike? Is this actually due to the throat-clearing, or more due to the fact that no treatment has thus far been able to dull the pain of your 15-year headache?
[Reply to this]
8 Cornjob on Feb 1, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I don’t see any men of science. I choose to live my life completely by the guidance of Psychic Gary Spivey.
[Reply to this]
9 Alicia on Feb 1, 2008 at 6:26 pm
My doctor wears a neon green lab coat.
[Reply to this]
10 Barry on Feb 1, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Mein eyes, the goggles do nothing!
[Reply to this]
11 Mr. Slick on Feb 1, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Bill maybe you could convince Mary Jo to lance Dr. Roscoe Pflug through the stomach and see if he pops!
[Reply to this]
12 BathTub on Feb 2, 2008 at 5:57 am
What the hell is up with the last guy, that is not natural, inflated with something?
[Reply to this]
Reply from Edgewriter on February 2, 2008:
Ah, Dr. Pflug.
He always made me laugh with that prank. I’d be laying on the couch. going on about how depressing my life was and he’d say,
“Look at this.”
I’d turn around and he would look at me with his Cherubic smile, shirtless and unbuttoning his trousers.
I’d run out of the room squealing with laughter as he chased me, making kissy noises all the way.
Ah, what laughs we had.
Reply from Teaser on February 7, 2008:
I think it’s eels
13 R.A. Roth on Feb 3, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I owe my life to my trustworthy endocrinologist Dr. Snorkington Q. Fizzlequip, without whose dangerous and unnecessary operations I wouldn’t today be the man I once never was and never will be.
Here’s to you, Dr. Fizzlequip!
Randy
PS Say, doc, is there any way I can move back into my house or are you still hell bent on being paid?
[Reply to this]
Leave a Comment