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I Am Not Randy Bachman. Period.

February 8th, 2008 by · 88 Comments

Okay, Let’s get something straight right away: I’m not, nor have I ever been, legendary rock guitarist Randy Bachman.

Never sang “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet,” Don’t know the words to “Let It Ride,” can barely fake it through “Got No Time.” I don’t play guitar very well at all. I’m not even Canadian.

That’s it. Nothing more to say. Full stop. Period, paragraph. End of report. Triple hash marks. Good night Irene. Katie bar the door. Hasta luego Buckwheat.

But some of you are confused, or more likely, goading me. This ought to make it clear:

Randy and Me

See? And I even tried my best to resemble Randy Bachman. I had to use my ukulele, because I don’t have a custom made Epiphone (a tricked out Emperor by the look of that pickguard). Does that settle it? Good.

I know this is my fault, since I made the mistake of causing myself to resemble George Lucas. Now everybody and their mother thinks I resemble everybody and their mother.

So I say why not? Bring it on. Send me pictures of people that you think I resemble and I’ll do my damndest to resemble them so you can be certain that I don’t. I’ll pick the top three resemblances sent in. The winner, the person who sends in the picture of someone I most leastly resemble after I prove that I don’t, will get a Rifftrax Virtual Autograph, like the sample below.

Photo 14

So let’s get busy finding people that I will prove don’t remotely resemble me!

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