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Minnesota State Quarter Scandal

February 13th, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 26 Comments

After a rather excessive amount of moaning concerning Minnesota’s loss to Arkansas yesterday I did some soul searching. Had I really underrated the serene beauty of the Minnesota quarter? Was I just swayed by the allure of the giant floating space bling on Arkansas? So I did a bit more research and discovered that the bird on the Minnesota quarter is a Loon. Specifically, it is THE Loon from the Canadian dollar, aka the Loonie. And not even the same bird posing in a different manner, say a classy “wings raised as it prepares to take off in majestic flight” No, it is the exact same image of the exact same loon. Either there’s a lack of originality that comes from a shared border, or a more sinister plot to get everyone confused and clog our toll booths and vending machines with Canadian dollars.

Minnesota Loonie

So, Minnesota’s State Quarter has a scandal on its hands. Its performance against Arkansas is stricken from the record, it is barred from all State Quarter tournaments for the remainder of the decade and loses all its scholarships. On the plus side, if it needs any advice for how to deal with the situation, it can just phone up the University of Minnesota basketball program.

Tags: RiffTrax · currency · state quarters

26 responses so far ↓

  • 1 kelli on Feb 13, 2008 at 9:23 am

    This is not working for me! Minnesota is the winner and you know it!! As for the loon-that is kind of our state bird-that would be really stupid to not include!! What would have been better-a picture of a snow mound or the MOA?? Reconsider your decision-think of all the former MST crew that live her-can think of 3! Maybe we should shove you on a satalite and make you watch really shitty movies!! Hmmm-there is an idea! Great-now I have to go watch The Teenage Strangler again! Thanks alot!!

  • 2 Barry on Feb 13, 2008 at 9:28 am

    Just goes to show you, if you’ve seen one loon, you’ve seen ‘em all.

    Although Minnesota might be more worthy if, instead of two guys in a boat fishing, they had two guys in a boat preparing to blast that loon to smithereens. You know, sort of a shot off Canada’s port bow ;)

  • 3 kelli on Feb 13, 2008 at 9:32 am

    Maybe 2 guys ice fishing w/ an igloo nearby?!? serious play of the major steriotypes of Minnesotans!

  • 4 Rob T Firefly on Feb 13, 2008 at 9:53 am

    10,000 lakes, and they still had to pick the one with the secondhand loon in it. Of all the lousy luck!

  • 5 kelli on Feb 13, 2008 at 10:25 am

    Canada stole that loon from us-then used it before we had a chance! Thats it-where is a Canadian?!?! It’s time for an ass whooping!!

  • 6 Michael on Feb 13, 2008 at 10:29 am

    Ah Canada. The Ralph Wiggum of the United Nations.

  • 7 R.A. Roth on Feb 13, 2008 at 10:52 am

    I’d back away slowly from the “clog our toll booths and vending machines with Canadian dollars” quip. As of today, the CAD (Canadian dollar) is on par with the USD, and in recent weeks has traded ABOVE the USD.

    So, please, clog our toll booths and vending machines with a currency in ascendance.

    Perhaps we should try and confuse US quarters and Euro dollars next! (1 EURO = $1.45)


  • 8 Tim on Feb 13, 2008 at 10:54 am

    Until the Minnesota Quarter gets involved in multiple night club brawls and is suspended and subsequently expelled from competition, it’s got nothing on the Missouri Tigers basketball team. They’re reaching official Crime Family status.

    Nice try. Come back and talk to me when you actually get arrested, Minnesota Quarter.

  • 9 Onil on Feb 13, 2008 at 11:31 am

    Maybe one of the guys can be on a sit on top kayak and then the other guy can be tooling around on a jet ski and ride circles around the guy on the sit on top kayak and a good time will be had by all.

  • 10 Yanni on Feb 13, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Ha Ha! They should have just put a portrait of Garrison Keillor on the back instead.

  • 11 Brian O. on Feb 13, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    What would Canadian Bacon do?

  • 12 Mephisto the Great on Feb 13, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    I can just see Captain Kirk screaming into the communicator:


  • 13 Virginia Corbett on Feb 13, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    You leave Clem out of this. His team was still awesome. Bobby Jackson is still in the NBA , and he was 23rd pick 10 years ago.

    Rassa-frassin’ kids pickin’ on my state, then pickin’ on my team. grrrrrr…

    See, it’s all the cold weather, Connor. It makes us sassy. And it builds camaraderie. Don’t mess with Minnesotans, man – we may be Minnesota Nice, but we got spunk!

    Keep on keepin’ on, Kelli. I’m with you!

  • 14 Sue on Feb 13, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    Um. go Arizona?

  • 15 Virginia Corbett on Feb 13, 2008 at 1:26 pm


    I got stuck at this site for a long time.

  • 16 Attaturk on Feb 13, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    But, it’s a LOON?

    It’s the state bird and frankly in flight its non-distinguished, but on the water, it’s distinctive.

    Then you are faced with the fact it can go right, or it can go left.

    So really, it’s a 50-50 shot whether it looks like the Loonie.

    Be fair.

  • 17 Dave-o on Feb 13, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Way to stick to your guns Connor! come on! the peaceful serenity of Minnesota (yawn..) compared to the acid-trippy Arkansas quarter! you got it spot on my friend! And look at it this way, (speaking as an opprotunistically proud Arkansan) its only going to last one more round, because its going up against the behemoth that is the Alaska state quarter! No quarter can in the wake of that monster…

  • 18 Zoyx on Feb 13, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    The U of Mn Basketball team can hold its own. They have lost 3 coaches due to various NCAA violations and scandals. There was the knee to the groin incident in the 70s. The alleged rape incident in Wisconsin for the 80s, and the “having someone else do our school work” scandal in the 90s.

  • 19 Tim on Feb 13, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    Let’s all just be honest and admit that the proper thing for Minnesota to do would be to put a portrait of Jesse Ventura on their state quarter. Coin flip options would no longer be “heads or tails”, but instead “Washington or Ventura”.

    If a Jesse Ventura portrait is ruled out, then let’s at least settle on something to signify the fact that Minnesota is the state where “Nature Boy” Ric Flair grew up. (We’ll conveniently ignore any arguments that Ric Flair, even now in his late 50’s, has never actually “grown up”.)

  • 20 MarkAndrew on Feb 14, 2008 at 10:14 am

    I don’t the correspondence course in ornithology you took was worth the $41.22 you spent on it.

    The Canadian Loon is clearly a humpbacked, upnose pointer. While the Minnesotan is a swan-necked bright eyed variety.

    Not the same loon at all.

  • 21 Fran in the Pan on Feb 14, 2008 at 11:06 am

    Even though I am a Minnesotan, I’m just not impressed with our state quarter’s brave proclaimation: “duh…we gots water”. Wow – that’s really something, not like it just falls from the sky or anything.

    I think it would be much more impressive to put record low temps on the quarter so the rest of the country can think we’re complete psychotic. Now that’s leveraging your state’s characteristics to imidate others. I’m sure Kevin would agree.

  • 22 Dr. Jane Seymour Medicine Quinn on Feb 14, 2008 at 11:17 am

    Quote: Coin flip options would no longer be “heads or tails”, but instead “Washington or Ventura”.

    Or “heads or arse.”

  • 23 kelli on Feb 18, 2008 at 5:44 am

    Oh I ain’t leaving this till us Minnesotans (said w/ a long drawn out “o” mind you) sees some justice!! Where would we be w/o Minneosta?? No overly sized mall, no Fargo, and NO MST3K! Don’t forget that all-we chilled homies gave it to you-yep-that is right!! Now Kick that other quarter in it’s kisser and give US the win!! Thank you very much!!
    (Virginia-I got your back too!!)

  • 24 kelli on Feb 18, 2008 at 5:45 am

    I shall never stiop-not till we see what we deserve!! Thanks for having my back!! = )

  • 25 kelli on Feb 18, 2008 at 8:26 am

    You should be ashamed of yourself!!!!!

  • 26 kelli on Feb 18, 2008 at 8:31 am

    Fran-I love you but you aren’t helping??

    P.S did you make it down to the CT party-I heard Trace calling your name but did not hear you respond!