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Crispin Hellion Glover.

February 16th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 36 Comments

Genius.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present…

“Clowny Clown Clown.”

(Warning: not for those who are clown-averse; a.k.a. “sane people.”)

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If you find clowns — or overuse of rhyming dictionaries — too disturbing, you might want to opt for the video below instead. Nary a clown in it!

…Of course, it has lots of rats, and women who get sexually aroused by rats, and some kind of vague Nazism going on. But I guarantee its clown-free nature:

Tags: RiffTrax

36 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Amy on Feb 16, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    i feel another plague coming on…a sexy plague

  • 2 Isai on Feb 16, 2008 at 10:20 pm

    What in the fudgesicle?!

  • 3 mathey on Feb 17, 2008 at 12:46 am

    The great thing about having watched Clowny Clown Clown now is that it doesn’t make me want to drive to where Mike lives and set him on fire. Because it really, really doesn’t.

  • 4 AmandaGal on Feb 17, 2008 at 3:13 am

    Random trivia of the day: Ben was a Gambian pouch rat from Africa and they’re pretty commonly kept as pets, but I’ve never seen women get quite so excited over them.

    As for the clown video, that’s worse than half-naked Hoff.

  • 5 Melman on Feb 17, 2008 at 5:44 am

    I liked it.

  • 6 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Feb 17, 2008 at 6:07 am

    Bravo! What genius! This man is the greatest glover in Hollywood since Sam Goldwyn. Clowny Clown Clown is an absurd turd that leads the herd. Word. And Scabaret, so-called because the union chose to picket during its filming, is the most skin crawling surrealist musical since Hello, Dali! Do they give awards to strait jacket to video productions?

  • 7 MikeP on Feb 17, 2008 at 6:58 am

    Great. Now I’ve got Clowny Clown stuck in my head. I’m going to have to hunt down that Zoobilee Zoo clip to wash the taste out of my brain.

  • 8 Bill Corbett on Feb 17, 2008 at 7:50 am

    I must admit, Ben is cute.

    But to inspire that kind of passion? Yikes.

  • 9 Beautiful Mind on Feb 17, 2008 at 8:04 am

    Well gents you saw the video. Forget the chocolates and flowers next Valentines Day. If you truly want to inspire a woman’s passion you gotta get her some rats to shove into her lingere.

    WARNING: Anyone dating the author of the above statement will refrain from the gifting of any rodents on designated romantic holidays as it may cause painful swelling in private areas.

  • 10 Nick on Feb 17, 2008 at 8:55 am

    Wow, that was an unbelievable coincidence. Not five minutes ago, in an attempt to cheer up somebody who was bemoaning the randomness of life, I posted:

    “You may still take comfort in the fact that any time a TV show — live, filmed or animated, it doesn’t matter — needs someone to play a drill instructor, EVER, R. Lee Ermey gets the gig. And that any time you ever SEE Ermey on TV, you can be assured he’s
    playing s drill instructor.”

    And now, sitting in Crispin Glover’s audience, is a monocled R. Lee Ermey, playing a not drill instructor.

    I bemoan the randomness of life. Or celebrate it, I’m not sure which.

  • 11 Amy on Feb 17, 2008 at 9:39 am

    Might I suggest the Chihuahua song?

  • 12 MikeP on Feb 17, 2008 at 10:03 am

    No. Nor may you suggest the Littlest Hobo theme song.

  • 13 Tv Miller on Feb 17, 2008 at 11:15 am

    I think Clowny Clown Clown a first draft to American Psycho.

  • 14 MikeP on Feb 17, 2008 at 12:47 pm

    When confronted with these videos, WWBSD?

  • 15 dignan on Feb 17, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    God, that man unsettles me.

  • 16 Amy on Feb 17, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    damn! that was my next choice…

  • 17 warwilf on Feb 17, 2008 at 1:08 pm

    What would Barbra Streisand do?
    Fill her old-lady-bloomers with rats, and campaign for Hillary.

  • 18 HearofBlades on Feb 17, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    You are an evil man Bill Corbett! I’m going to go wash my eyes with rubbing alcohol now and pretend I didn’t see either of those videos

  • 19 SaucyRossy on Feb 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    Should Steven Spielberg be scared of Crispin Glover?
    http://crispingloverinfo.com/essay.html

  • 20 Brian O. on Feb 17, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    Heyyyy, some of us might LIKE painful swelling in private areas.

  • 21 R.A. Roth on Feb 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    Crispin Glover is the creepiest person alive. I may never ever sleep again.

    Good one, Corbett!

    Randy

  • 22 Bill Corbett on Feb 17, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    I can’t help read that URL as “Crisping Lover Info.”

  • 23 Dave-o on Feb 17, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    another suggestion may be the hobbit song by Leonard Nimoy…

  • 24 Dave-o on Feb 17, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    the worst (disturbing?) part of this is that those are probably the most coherent works of Crispin Glover’s personal works. case in point: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118141/

  • 25 MikeP on Feb 17, 2008 at 4:05 pm

    No kidding. The film’s tagline:

    Being the adventures of a young man whose principle interests are snails, salt, a pipe, and how to get home. As tormented by an hubristic, racist inner psyche.

    Doesn’t even rhyme.

  • 26 Darth Chimay on Feb 17, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    Huh… well, at least no one will think Crispin Glover is weird or anything.

    Though, I really have to ask why R. Lee Ermey is beating up Captain Crunch. I mean, I’m all for cereal violence, but they could at least have pitted him against someone more equal, like Frankenberry.

  • 27 Mr. Slick on Feb 17, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!
    Can’t sleep clowns will eat me!

  • 28 Chris on Feb 17, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    The ’spin has legs that go up to THERE, man.

    Is it wrong for me to notice?

  • 29 Mephisto the Great on Feb 17, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    I produced a haunted house a number of years ago, and we had this scene where a little girl sat rocking on her bed, the room festooned (that’s right, I used the word ‘festooned’) with clownish patterns and pictures of demented clowns.

    She kept saying “Mommy said the clown won’t eat me. Mommy said the clown won’t eat me.” As patrons walked by, a clown would pop out at their feet from under the bed and scream “MOMMY LIED.”

    I had a grown man wet his pants on that one.

  • 30 kelli on Feb 18, 2008 at 5:59 am

    the clowns will only eat you if you go into the sewer, or play by the clothes lines,…or go into caves,…crap,..I am screwed!!!!

  • 31 edgewriter on Feb 18, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    I have encountered Crispin Glover twice and both times he seemed fairly normal even if he was a bit of a jerk. This is weird stuff. Thanks, Bill. Now I need to wash my brain.

    BTW Willard was a pretty good flick. I thought Crispin did a pretty good job.

  • 32 edgewriter on Feb 19, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    Oh, and here is my article all about our Crisping Lover.

    http://edgewriter.wordpress.com/2008/02/19/crispin-hellion-glover-a-study-in-weird/

  • 33 Lynne on Jul 22, 2008 at 9:27 am

    **smiles**

  • 34 Lynne on Jul 22, 2008 at 9:31 am

    I, personally, love the quirky randomness of life~~~and choose to celebrate (;

  • 35 Lynne on Jul 22, 2008 at 9:37 am

    just curious… what gave you the impression he was a bit of a jerk?

  • 36 Bill B. on Jan 2, 2010 at 11:23 pm

    Obviously a David Lynch hack. The clown video was just plain creepy. The pig face people just staring at the camera??? WTF? This dude is on some serious drugs. Still not as distubing as Lynch’s Eraser Head though.