In a recent post, I shared a beautiful — and very personal — meditation for inner peace.
I got little but grief for my generosity, frankly. People objected to me using nature imagery to put their minds at ease.
This still mystifies me. The boll weevil may be a notorious destroyer of cotton crops, but to the best of anyone’s knowledge it doesn’t feed on the flesh of humans. I mean, please! It seems like a relaxed, and very relaxing insect, to my mind, despite its tendency towards pestilence.
(It’s also held in sufficient regard by the University of Arkansas at Monticello to be their school mascot. I’m in complete synch with that! Good for you, UAM! We boll weevil lovers are in this together.)
In happier days: a BOLL WEEVIL before it found out it was loathed by the Rifftrax community.
On the other hand, you Haters of Boll Weevils will be gratified to know that the imported fire ants sweeping across the country are causing a real decline in the boll weevil population. Happy now? Yes, you are. Don’t pretend otherwise.
But in my journey towards peace, I realize that I must stay light of heart, and flexible in practice. So I’m trying to serve my community here by developing a fire ant meditation for us all.
And to be honest, I do confess to a certain thrill at the movement of nature in its manifestation as the ruthless, Borg-like red fire ant armies, which march ahead and REND and CRUSH and KILL all… all non-peaceful feelings, in their way.
Stay tuned for some serious serenity…
Peace be with us all! NAMASTE.
**MIKE ADDS**
Bill, the peace was overtaking me, total relaxation flooding my body as I visited the Boll Weevil restaurant right here in beautiful San Diego, near beautiful-ier still Point Loma and enjoyed their life-giving and love-giving 1/2 pound steer burger.
(The Boll Weevil, sadly, is closed, as far as I can tell, overrun by fire ants.)
**UPDATE BY MIKE**
Tremendously Good News!!
Phorid Flies Found in North Texas
Here’s the relevant quote: “This month phorid flies, a natural enemy of fire ants, were found on the county line between Denton and Wise counties…This parasitic fly lays its eggs inside a fire ant worker,” Engler said. “The larvae eats its way into the head capsule and eventually decapitates the ant. It then completes its development in the fire ant’s head and emerges from there fully grown”
++
UPDATE by Bill: That’s fantastic news, Mike. Of course phorid flies have also killed hundreds of thousands of people in N. Texas this week alone, but…still!
Phorid fly meditation now being developed.
34 responses so far ↓
1 Ranika on Feb 26, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Ants are cool though. Unlike the dreadful weevil. I bet it doesn’t even like bacon. Ants? They love bacon. Clearly the superior insect.
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2 Take5 on Feb 26, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Wait, so now we find serenity through fire ants? What’s next, Io moths?
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Reply from Take5 on February 26, 2008:
Hey, “ants” rhymes with “Pants!” Coincidence? No way.
3 Yanni on Feb 26, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Will a decrease in weevil population cause a decrease in serenity?! Only your fire ant meditation can bring us peace!
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4 Barry on Feb 26, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Awww, how could anybody hate the boll weevil? Just look at it! It’s like the adorable aardvark of the textile world.
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Reply from Riff-Martian on February 27, 2008:
Perhaps we need to import more aardvarks to vindicate the Weevils and decrease the fire ant population?
(Just don’t swallow a horse of course)
5 Tim on Feb 26, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Finally my years of hard work importing all of those fire ant colonies has begun to pay off. Everybody called me a fool back then, but look at the results now, baby!
I’ve had this in the works for some time, Corbett. I received secret reports years ago about your love and admiration of boll weevils. I then set the wheels in motion for my fire ant importing machinations. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
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Reply from Bill Corbett on February 27, 2008:
Monster!!
6 Neb on Feb 26, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Anyone who has ever encountered fire ants has no love at all for them. They make killer bees seem like the posers they are. Their bites are painful and raise welts. Worse yet, they launch stealth attacks wherein they climb onto their victim and wait for some chemical signal, whereupon they all bite AT ONCE! Their nests/hills are like concrete and will break plow blades. They are evil. They are truly the Borg of the insect world. They may be serene, but they do not in fact impart serenity upon their surroundings. Two thumbs down from me.
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7 Mr. Slick on Feb 26, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Here’s a thought for you to ponder during your next meditation: Boll Weevil Bacon.
Think about it won’t you?
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8 AmandaGal on Feb 27, 2008 at 12:58 am
UAM’s “motto” used to be, “Ain’t nothing more evil than a damned boll weevil.”
I don’t think they use it anymore. It’s pretty catchy though.
This fella used to run around the field, but I don’t know if he still does. I haven’t been to a UAM game in ages:
http://www.sugarscostumes.com/galleries/39/images/BollWeevil.jpg
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Reply from Bill Corbett on February 27, 2008:
A tad reminiscent of The Noid.
http://www.tvacres.com/admascots_noid.htm
9 Natureboy (Ken) on Feb 27, 2008 at 1:17 am
I wonder if there is any money in Boll Weevil ranches. I already tried Naitch’s Ant Farm, but it didn’t do very well. I even located next to Rock City. would you guys come out to Natureboy’s Boll Weevil world?
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10 Teaser on Feb 27, 2008 at 5:11 am
I gotta try me one of those 1/2 lb steerburger cocktails….
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11 SEISMIC on Feb 27, 2008 at 5:39 am
I must say I appreciated your gesture and felt at ease after using your amazing meditation practice! Thank you Bill-I hope my appreciation somewhat eases the cruelty of the other posters!
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12 Daddy-O on Feb 27, 2008 at 6:31 am
I’m going to meditate on the Boll Weevil and the Fire Ant…at the same time! If you don’t hear from me again, well, don’t try it.
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Reply from Daddy-O on February 27, 2008:
Visions of cottony soft, fiery armageddon. Apocalyptic and beautiful. Recommended!
13 MikeP on Feb 27, 2008 at 6:33 am
How about earwigs? They like the dark, and they’re quiet and stealthy. Very serene.
Also, it’s a complete myth that they climb into your ear and burrow into your brain and take control of you like Checkov in Star Trek II. No truth to that at all.
The just look like that’s the sort of thing they would do… and probably only do when entomologists aren’t looking, hence maintaining the facade of benign, non-ear-burrowing behaviour.
Peaceful. Mind-controlling. Scientologists Earwigs.
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Reply from MikeP on February 27, 2008:
“Scientologist” is supposed to have a strikethrough. Curse this comment technology!
14 Inspector Dim on Feb 27, 2008 at 6:36 am
Yes, but can you make bacon out of boll weevils?
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Reply from gammer on February 27, 2008:
More importantly, can you make bacon out of Kevin Bacon?
Reply from SEISMIC on February 27, 2008:
I would SO like some of THAT bacon!! Yum!!
15 karen on Feb 27, 2008 at 9:32 am
3 words: bacon, bollweivil and ants. mmmmmm….
add to pieces of bread and mustard…delicoius!
bacon from kevn bacon…thats gross!
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16 Courtney on Feb 27, 2008 at 9:39 am
Look, can’t we all just think about adorable precious puppies?
http://www.affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/rabid_dog_small.jpg
Aw. Bless.
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Reply from SEISMIC on February 27, 2008:
Little angel! = )
17 amanda on Feb 27, 2008 at 1:17 pm
So what are the Texans going to use to get rid of the soon to come overinfestation of phorrid flies?
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Reply from SEISMIC on February 27, 2008:
spam
18 R.A. Roth on Feb 27, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Good news! The phorid flies natural enemy is the boll weevil, thus proving Nature is the longest and largest ongoing game of Rock/Paper/Scissors.
Randy
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19 Livia on Feb 27, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Bill, it’s not that I don’t like boll weevils, it’s just I find it really difficult to concentrate on my meditation when I feel so itchy.
Any suggestions?
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Reply from Bill Corbett on February 28, 2008:
The “itchiness” is your mind distracting you. It’s “itchiness,” not true itchiness. Understand?
When boll weevils crawl on you, it’s more scratchy and pinch-y. So concentrate on THOSE feelings instead.
Namaste.
20 Eddie Colton on Feb 27, 2008 at 9:48 pm
You can talk about the latest
The latest of your own
These boll weevils
They gonna rob you of a home
They are looking for a home
They’s a looking for a home
The first time I seen a boll weevil
He was sitting on a square
The next time I seen a boll weevil
He had his whole family there
He’s a looking for a home
He’s a looking for a home
The farmer had taken the boll weevil
And he put him on the sand
The boll weevil he said to the farmer
You are treating me just like a man
I’ll have a home
I’ll have a home
Then I’ll have a home
Then I’ll have a home
Then I’ll have a home
Then I’ll have a home
Yes the farmer he said to the merchant
I never made but one bale
Before I let you have that last one
I’ll suffer and die in jail
And I’ll have a home
And I’ll have a home
And the old lady said to her old man
They been trying that old level best
Keep one of these old boll weevils
Out of my brand new cotton dress
And it’s full of holes
And it’s full of holes
Yes, it’s full of holes
Yes, it’s full of holes
Yes, it’s full of holes
Yes, it’s full of holes
Yes, the farmer had taken that boll weevil
And he put him in the ice
The boll weevil said to the farmer
You’re treating me mighty nice
And I’ll have a home
And I’ll have a home
If anybody should come along and ask you people
Who come told this song
Tell ‘em it’s Huddie Ledbetter
He’s done been here and gone
And he’s looking for a home
He’s a looking for a home
He’s a looking for a home
He’s a looking for a home
He’s a looking for a home
He’s a looking for a home
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21 Daddy-O on Feb 28, 2008 at 6:54 am
Enjoy a pic of the Phorid Fly looking mete out punishment on some deserving Fire Ants.
http://www.usda-sabcl.org/images/IFA/ifa4.jpg
Now, witness the resultant carnage of said punishment.
http://www.usda-sabcl.org/images/IFA/phorid3.jpg
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Reply from amanda on February 28, 2008:
Well at least they’re very tidy killers. Neatly lining them up in a row like that. What symmetry!
22 Daddy-O on Feb 28, 2008 at 9:39 am
How many roads must an ant walk down
Before you call him a ant?
Yes, ‘n’ how many mounds must a Fire Ant build
Before he sleeps in the sand?
Yes, ‘n’ how many times must the Ortho grains fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The ants were my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind,
The ants are blowin’ in the wind.
How many times must an ant look up
Before he can see the Phorid Fly?
Yes, ‘n’ how many eggs must be oviposited
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, ‘n’ how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many ants have died?
The ants were my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind,
The ants are blowin’ in the wind.
How many years can an ant mound exist
Before it’s washed to the sea?
Yes, ‘n’ how many years can some ants exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, ‘n’ how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The ants were my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind,
The ants are blowin’ in the wind.
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