The RiffTrax Blog header image 1

Exit, pursued by a limerick.

March 4th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 30 Comments

Explained in this comment thread. (As much as the following actually can be explained, that is.)

Here it is, Beautiful Houndstooth:

“A spatula nosed old freak-beaver
Came down with a case of hay fever
He sneezed with such might
That his body took flight
And knocked out a golden retriever.”

    platypus_j01.jpg

    In happier days: a PLATYPUS before it became the subject of an insulting, name-omitting limerick by some riffclown.

Now let’s pretend this never happened, go back down the page, and watch some funny political ads.

(I’ll be hiding in shame for a few weeks, so the hot young screenwriter / stripper Demonia Hickok will be taking over my screenwriting Q & A tomorrow night. Subjects to be explored: the three-act screenplay structure; creating vivid dialogue; managing your career; pole dancing.)

Tags: RiffTrax

30 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 6:55 am

    Wow! What a great limerick

    If there’s a stripper hosting the screenwriting Q & A, count me in!!

    Yipee!!

  • 2 Duddits on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:00 am

    Demonia Hickock’s credits include:

    (2009) Step Up 3: Takin it to the Streets
    (2007) Showgirlz (V)
    (2004) Untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project
    — AKA Alan Smithee Presents Lamas

    Couldn’t we have gotten Joe Pantoliano’s less talented brother to fill in on such short notice?

  • 3 MikeP on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:04 am

    Bill, have you been hitting the bacon flavored vodka again? Can’t say I blame you. That stuff’s delicious and intoxicating.

  • 4 SEISMIC on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:04 am

    BC-
    that was better than my poem!!!

    P.S-did sir Hickok become a stripper for me? wahoo!!

  • 5 Rob T Firefly on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:21 am

    In other news, Bill will be taking over the upcoming exotic dancing Q&A over on her blog.

  • 6 Mr. Slick on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Say that is good news!

  • 7 Mr. Slick on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:50 am

    Bill when will the bacon Q&A be scheduled?

  • 8 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:52 am

    There once was a brown platypus from Nantucket
    Whose snout would much better a tan duck fit
    Whether she’s more mammal than fowl
    Or more like a camel than owl
    She’ll be trapped and eaten by some Canuck twit.

  • 9 Bill Corbett on Mar 4, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Do you realize how many readers you just made vomit?

  • 10 Bill Corbett on Mar 4, 2008 at 8:21 am

    D N-K,

    I’m subcontracting my next limerick to you.

  • 11 karen on Mar 4, 2008 at 8:49 am

    me 2 and im not even a guy!

  • 12 Rob T Firefly on Mar 4, 2008 at 9:09 am

    Result!

  • 13 SEISMIC on Mar 4, 2008 at 9:13 am

    but it depends on who is doin’ the strippin!!!

  • 14 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 10:34 am

    Thanks, Duddits! Makes you wonder, how is there an untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project from 4 years ago, and a movie coming out next year already has a title? I know it’s a sequel, but huh?
    Just something to make you think and keep you up at night

  • 15 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 11:13 am

    I wanted to take this time to apologize for my earlier comment, i.e.: “If there’s a stripper having the screenwriting Q &A, count me in!!” I really shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion Demonia Hickock was just a stripper, and I apologize to her and human beings everywhere for my hurtful comments. I know I hurt everyone with my remarks.
    Thanks to Duddits, I have now realized the immense output DH has as a screenwriting genius! Who else could lend their talented pen to the unforgettable “Untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project,” known to some as “Alan Smithee Presents Lamas?”
    Once again, I apologize to humanity. the planet and Demonia Hickock for my very hurtful and painful remarks.
    Shame to me!

  • 16 R.A. Roth on Mar 4, 2008 at 12:12 pm

    A limerick from my last book, Tall Tales, that is in keep with the exotic animal theme:

    There once was a man named Nick
    Who pissed in the Amazon crick
    Before buttoning his fly
    A candiru came by
    And swam up the shaft of his prick.

    Randy

  • 17 MikeP on Mar 4, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    Inspiring. I got shivers.

  • 18 SEISMIC on Mar 4, 2008 at 1:19 pm

    it caused me to cross my legs and I am not even a guy!

  • 19 MikeP on Mar 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    some Canuck twit

    I hope you’re not referring to me. I would never eat such a magnificent creature.

    Unless it tasted like bacon.

  • 20 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Mar 4, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    If laughter is truly the best medicine
    And all cares and woe it will jettison
    Then Mike J., Kevin and Bill
    Are like a heveanly pill
    That give more joy than R. Basehart and D. Hedison

  • 21 wakachiwaka on Mar 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm

    LIMERICKMANIA!!!

    Now with extra syllables for added value!

  • 22 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Mar 4, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Drat! That should be “heavenly”. Here I lampoon those “lousy,stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards” and yet when it comes to spelling I’m just a stupid American’t.

  • 23 Beautiful Houndstooth on Mar 4, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    That was an AWSOME limerick DNK! I’m gonna put Bill’s in my signature line but that was a great one.

  • 24 Beautiful Houndstooth on Mar 4, 2008 at 5:36 pm

    Mr Corbett,
    You sir are a god! I can’t believe you actually wrote my nigh impossible limerick. I knew if anyone could do it you could. I’m gonna go stick it in all my signature lines now. With full credit to the brilliant author of course :-) Now I really do hope everyone gets back to find the brilliant political ads which you stepped on for lil ol’ me.

  • 25 bob the hog on Mar 4, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    That is the perfect ode to the platypus.
    Bravo.

  • 26 To_Servo_Man on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    You might say, an odepus? Seems rather complex to me…

    Thank you, I’m here all week.

  • 27 wakachiwaka on Mar 4, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    We’ll just blame your parents for that one…

  • 28 Demonia Hickok on Mar 5, 2008 at 1:10 am

    I am Demonia Hickok and I love and forgive you all.

    BUY MY NEWEST DVD: Breakfast at Tiffany’s Dumpster (Amazon: buy it used for $2.05 plus $33.45 shipping and handling).

    Catch you all on the flip side (of the pole).

    D.H.

  • 29 R.A. Roth on Mar 5, 2008 at 11:05 am

    For the record, candiru are wormy parasitic catfish that live in the Amazon river. They are wired to seek HEAT, which is why pissing in the Amazon while swimming is a no-no, unless you’re into that sort of thing, having parasitic catfish make a home in the spongy walls of your urethra.

    This was NOT a major plot point in my book, for reasons I need not discuss.

    Randy

  • 30 Dan on Mar 5, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Dear Ms./Mrs./Mr./Dr./Prof. Hickok:
    Thank you for your forgivness, Demonia. I am interested beyond any sense of normalcy in your “Untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project” from 2004. What is it and why is it untitled? More importantly, where can I get it on DVD, VHS, laserdisc and will there be a criterion release of this soon?
    Sincerely,
    Dan :)

Leave a Comment