Explained in this comment thread. (As much as the following actually can be explained, that is.)
Here it is, Beautiful Houndstooth:
“A spatula nosed old freak-beaver
Came down with a case of hay fever
He sneezed with such might
That his body took flight
And knocked out a golden retriever.”
In happier days: a PLATYPUS before it became the subject of an insulting, name-omitting limerick by some riffclown.
Now let’s pretend this never happened, go back down the page, and watch some funny political ads.
(I’ll be hiding in shame for a few weeks, so the hot young screenwriter / stripper Demonia Hickok will be taking over my screenwriting Q & A tomorrow night. Subjects to be explored: the three-act screenplay structure; creating vivid dialogue; managing your career; pole dancing.)
30 responses so far ↓
1 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 6:55 am
Wow! What a great limerick
If there’s a stripper hosting the screenwriting Q & A, count me in!!
Yipee!!
2 Duddits on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:00 am
Demonia Hickock’s credits include:
(2009) Step Up 3: Takin it to the Streets
(2007) Showgirlz (V)
(2004) Untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project
— AKA Alan Smithee Presents Lamas
Couldn’t we have gotten Joe Pantoliano’s less talented brother to fill in on such short notice?
3 MikeP on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:04 am
Bill, have you been hitting the bacon flavored vodka again? Can’t say I blame you. That stuff’s delicious and intoxicating.
4 SEISMIC on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:04 am
BC-
that was better than my poem!!!
P.S-did sir Hickok become a stripper for me? wahoo!!
5 Rob T Firefly on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:21 am
In other news, Bill will be taking over the upcoming exotic dancing Q&A over on her blog.
6 Mr. Slick on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:49 am
Say that is good news!
7 Mr. Slick on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:50 am
Bill when will the bacon Q&A be scheduled?
8 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:52 am
There once was a brown platypus from Nantucket
Whose snout would much better a tan duck fit
Whether she’s more mammal than fowl
Or more like a camel than owl
She’ll be trapped and eaten by some Canuck twit.
9 Bill Corbett on Mar 4, 2008 at 8:19 am
Do you realize how many readers you just made vomit?
10 Bill Corbett on Mar 4, 2008 at 8:21 am
D N-K,
I’m subcontracting my next limerick to you.
11 karen on Mar 4, 2008 at 8:49 am
me 2 and im not even a guy!
12 Rob T Firefly on Mar 4, 2008 at 9:09 am
Result!
13 SEISMIC on Mar 4, 2008 at 9:13 am
but it depends on who is doin’ the strippin!!!
14 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 10:34 am
Thanks, Duddits! Makes you wonder, how is there an untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project from 4 years ago, and a movie coming out next year already has a title? I know it’s a sequel, but huh?
Just something to make you think and keep you up at night
15 Dan on Mar 4, 2008 at 11:13 am
I wanted to take this time to apologize for my earlier comment, i.e.: “If there’s a stripper having the screenwriting Q &A, count me in!!” I really shouldn’t have jumped to the conclusion Demonia Hickock was just a stripper, and I apologize to her and human beings everywhere for my hurtful comments. I know I hurt everyone with my remarks.
Thanks to Duddits, I have now realized the immense output DH has as a screenwriting genius! Who else could lend their talented pen to the unforgettable “Untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project,” known to some as “Alan Smithee Presents Lamas?”
Once again, I apologize to humanity. the planet and Demonia Hickock for my very hurtful and painful remarks.
Shame to me!
16 R.A. Roth on Mar 4, 2008 at 12:12 pm
A limerick from my last book, Tall Tales, that is in keep with the exotic animal theme:
There once was a man named Nick
Who pissed in the Amazon crick
Before buttoning his fly
A candiru came by
And swam up the shaft of his prick.
Randy
17 MikeP on Mar 4, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Inspiring. I got shivers.
18 SEISMIC on Mar 4, 2008 at 1:19 pm
it caused me to cross my legs and I am not even a guy!
19 MikeP on Mar 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm
some Canuck twit
I hope you’re not referring to me. I would never eat such a magnificent creature.
Unless it tasted like bacon.
20 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Mar 4, 2008 at 3:48 pm
If laughter is truly the best medicine
And all cares and woe it will jettison
Then Mike J., Kevin and Bill
Are like a heveanly pill
That give more joy than R. Basehart and D. Hedison
21 wakachiwaka on Mar 4, 2008 at 4:43 pm
LIMERICKMANIA!!!
Now with extra syllables for added value!
22 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Mar 4, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Drat! That should be “heavenly”. Here I lampoon those “lousy,stinking, francophonic, bacon-loving bastards” and yet when it comes to spelling I’m just a stupid American’t.
23 Beautiful Houndstooth on Mar 4, 2008 at 5:33 pm
That was an AWSOME limerick DNK! I’m gonna put Bill’s in my signature line but that was a great one.
24 Beautiful Houndstooth on Mar 4, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Mr Corbett,
Now I really do hope everyone gets back to find the brilliant political ads which you stepped on for lil ol’ me.
You sir are a god! I can’t believe you actually wrote my nigh impossible limerick. I knew if anyone could do it you could. I’m gonna go stick it in all my signature lines now. With full credit to the brilliant author of course
25 bob the hog on Mar 4, 2008 at 6:24 pm
That is the perfect ode to the platypus.
Bravo.
26 To_Servo_Man on Mar 4, 2008 at 7:40 pm
You might say, an odepus? Seems rather complex to me…
Thank you, I’m here all week.
27 wakachiwaka on Mar 4, 2008 at 9:28 pm
We’ll just blame your parents for that one…
28 Demonia Hickok on Mar 5, 2008 at 1:10 am
I am Demonia Hickok and I love and forgive you all.
BUY MY NEWEST DVD: Breakfast at Tiffany’s Dumpster (Amazon: buy it used for $2.05 plus $33.45 shipping and handling).
Catch you all on the flip side (of the pole).
D.H.
29 R.A. Roth on Mar 5, 2008 at 11:05 am
For the record, candiru are wormy parasitic catfish that live in the Amazon river. They are wired to seek HEAT, which is why pissing in the Amazon while swimming is a no-no, unless you’re into that sort of thing, having parasitic catfish make a home in the spongy walls of your urethra.
This was NOT a major plot point in my book, for reasons I need not discuss.
Randy
30 Dan on Mar 5, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Dear Ms./Mrs./Mr./Dr./Prof. Hickok:
Thank you for your forgivness, Demonia. I am interested beyond any sense of normalcy in your “Untitled Lorenzo Lamas Project” from 2004. What is it and why is it untitled? More importantly, where can I get it on DVD, VHS, laserdisc and will there be a criterion release of this soon?
Sincerely,
Dan
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