Today we celebrate the banishment of snakes from Ireland by St. Patrick, the Samuel L. Jackson of his time.
“I have had it with these *#$@%^& snakes in this *#$@%^& Ireland!”
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Now technically, St. Patrick was not Irish — he was a Roman Briton captured and imprisoned by the Irish. And he later tried to save their heathen Druid souls. But when a guy gives you an excuse for public drunken carousing, you don’t quibble about minor details. Besides, he got rid of the snakes!
…Or did he? From the available portraiture, it seems more accurate to say that St. Patrick pointed at the snakes; or that he accidentally stepped on some snakes; or even that he was immersed in a good book, when some nearby snakes decided to leave, completely unnoticed by St. Pat. Decide for yourself by viewing the thumbnails below:
Stay tuned for another Very Special St. Patrick’s Day Blog Post later today. To get into the spirit, I suggest a few pints of stout beforehand.
17 responses so far ↓
1 Kenny G on Mar 17, 2008 at 5:51 am
In honor of this holiday, enjoy this powerful rendition of that most moving of songs, “Danny Boy”, performed by the acclaimed Leprechaun Brothers.
2 MikeP on Mar 17, 2008 at 5:57 am
Happy St. Patrick Swayze Day, everyone!
3 Rob T Firefly on Mar 17, 2008 at 7:09 am
I shall eat the marshmallows out of a bowl of Lucky Charms to celebrate.
4 Indianadelae on Mar 17, 2008 at 7:30 am
I grew up in a family who felt it was their cultural (and religious) duty to celebrate the life of a saint by getting drunk in public (and usually before noon!). I will, of course, be passing this blessed tradition onto my own future children.
Celebrate, everybody is Irish today!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
5 Rob III on Mar 17, 2008 at 8:02 am
I see what you mean about the manner in which St. Patrick got rid of the snakes. It’s pretty unclear.
I would only be convinced by a picture of him hurling snakes bodily into the ocean.
6 Beautiful Houndstooth on Mar 17, 2008 at 8:03 am
LOL I got nothing special to add. Just that I was having a super crummy morning at work and this blog just made my day!
7 mathey on Mar 17, 2008 at 10:18 am
St. Patrick appears to be directing the snakes to gather at his feet. I’m assuming at this point he explained Ireland’s new “Snake Free Zone” statutes (note the picture of him looking in a big book – a law text with a precedent, no doubt) and asked them kindly to move their snakish activities to another, less herpe-phobic location. Like Florida, or the Amazonian rainforests. There were probably tax incentives involved. I’d be surprised if there weren’t a lot of reptiles in India with curiously lilting, lyrical hisses who can trace their ancestry back to this mass relocation project.
Alternately, he is laser designating the snakes for air strikes from God. I could go either way.
8 Eric Fell on Mar 17, 2008 at 11:08 am
That four-fingered hand holding the Guinness looks disturbing. I don’t know if it’s because I’m used to seeing five-fingered hands cupping the Black Gold, or if it’s because the hand seems massive. Either way, I’m a little shaken.
9 Bill Corbett on Mar 17, 2008 at 11:19 am
“Either way, I’m a little shaken.”
The best medicine for your condition, as it turns out? A pint of that very same Black Gold.
10 Chuck Jordan on Mar 17, 2008 at 3:14 pm
“I have had it with these *#$@%^& snakes in this *#$@%^& Ireland!”
That may be my favorite thing I’ve ever read on the internet.
11 Onil on Mar 17, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Why the quizzical look on St. Patrick’s face? It’s like he’s just been accused of peeing on a rose bush.
Ireland: Who made wee wee on our prized flowers? Was it you, Patrick?
St. Patrick: Whahuh? I swear it was the snakes!
12 Mala Fide dotcom » *#$@%^& snakes on Mar 17, 2008 at 3:30 pm
[...] Happy Saint Patrick’s Day from Rifftrax. [...]
13 Mr. Slick on Mar 17, 2008 at 6:25 pm
As an Irishman let me point out a thing or two… while I’m sober. Had St. Patrick actually BEEN Irish he would not only of forceablely thrown all the snakes into the ocean, he would of done it sober! But alas he was, as Bill pointed out, British and so being afraid to get his hands dirty. That’s while he is often portrayed pointing to the snakes and most likely saying “out with you you dirty, dirty things”. . . sounds better in a femmy British accent.
14 Dave-o on Mar 18, 2008 at 3:18 am
that is probably the funniest thing ive read all day!
15 TheTick on Mar 18, 2008 at 6:50 pm
You might just be right about that. Wish I’d thought of it…
16 Arcade on Oct 1, 2008 at 10:48 am
I’m thinking I will go with the Ultimate Arcade II design… I need to find someone to build the cabinet as I don’t do wood work & live in a small apartment & have no tools… I’m looking at family members at the moment, hopefully that will work, but we’ll see…
17 Mala Fide dotcom » The Unfact™ of the Month on Mar 16, 2009 at 5:05 am
[...] Saint Patrick changed his name (after an earlier St. Patrick) on entering the priesthood. Born in France, he was originally Samuel DeJaques, or Samuel Jaques’ son. [...]
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