The people who bring you Budweiser, the vaguely rice-flavored water often mislabeled as beer, have announced plans to make an actual beer, which they will also market as beer.
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| Budweiser, being used properly |
According to the article, “The new ale’s task is to bring its own sales while also drawing drinkers to regular Budweiser, which is on a two-decade slide.” In a related bit of news, Cheez Whiz announced plans to market an organic, aged Brie de Meaux, in hopes that it will bring its own sales while also encouraging people to upend cans of their Nacho flavor processed cheese food and squirt half the contents onto their tongues.
*The answer, courtesy of my late father, is “Fine, and how’s yours?”
22 responses so far ↓
1 Barry on Mar 21, 2008 at 9:35 am
It’s not really beer unless it’s a stout – the darker the better.
2 Neb on Mar 21, 2008 at 9:50 am
Oatmeal stout: yum. I have a friend who says, “If I can’t use a glass of it for welding goggles, it’s not dark enough.”
3 Conor Lastowka on Mar 21, 2008 at 9:51 am
“Craft” is the latest beer buzz word. The key to purchasing any kind of food or beer is that if it touts itself as being something on its label, it is not. Special K Breakfast bars labeled “heart smart”? “Organic” Cheetoes? “Craft” Miller Lite? Good products speak for themselves.
Let’s hope that this beer joins Budweiser Select, Bud Ice, Bud Dry, B to the E Energy Beer (seriously), and Bud+Clamato Chelada in the Budweiser graveyard. (Budweiser select is actually still around according to neon signs in my neighborhood, this in spite of the entire country having no idea what the hell it is.)
4 Clint on Mar 21, 2008 at 10:04 am
Budweiser will no longer be the Sony of the beer world. In that, as far as home audio and beer goes, it has more than enough capital to put out a quality product, but chooses to satiate the Wal-Mart ‘if-it’s-cheap-I-want-it’ crowd.
Until now, perhaps?
5 Fran in the Pan on Mar 21, 2008 at 10:15 am
So when are you going to make a RiffTrax homebrew, Mike?
“We don’t make fun of beer, we make it!”
6 Natureboy (Ken) on Mar 21, 2008 at 10:27 am
Did I mistakenly wander onto a Canadian website? American beer is pee, eh?
7 Tim D on Mar 21, 2008 at 10:31 am
“Anheuser-Busch is slamming millions of extra dollars into Budweiser’s marketing budget to promote it as the Great American Lager.”
Which is quite a coincidence, because I personally have slammed millions of lagers me-self.
8 R.A. Roth on Mar 21, 2008 at 10:53 am
Excellent! I’m always looking to diversify the ways I pickle my liver into quivering beery submission.
Randy
9 warwilf on Mar 21, 2008 at 11:40 am
It’s not your father’s beer, but when you’re having more than one, Bud’s a good drinkin’ beer.
10 Libby on Mar 21, 2008 at 1:39 pm
As a native of St. Louis, I’m required to defend AB products. It’s in our city charter or something I think.
(But I’d rather have a Shiner Bock anyday…)
11 Thad on Mar 21, 2008 at 2:57 pm
“Budweiser American Ale is meant to attract what A-B’s marketing department calls “experimenters” — drinkers who bounce around among various beers such as Yuengling, Fat Tire, Hoegaarden and Budweiser.”
They may as well market it to Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.
12 MSTJedi on Mar 21, 2008 at 4:01 pm
And as a native Texan, I just have to point at AB and say “Ha ha!” in a most Nelson (the one from the Simpsons) -like manner. I like a Shiner once in a while myself. Multiple Shiners often result in a wicked hangover, though.
13 Riff-Martian on Mar 21, 2008 at 4:41 pm
I think I agree with most real beer aficionados… Bud is never a “good drinkin’ beer”
There’s a reason light beers such as Corona come with a lime… if you’ve got water, you might as well make lemonaid!
14 Dallas on Mar 21, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Well, that’s just silly. Everybody knows Santa’s on the wagon, and the Tooth Fairy won’t touch anything but Jack on the rocks.
15 wakachiwaka on Mar 21, 2008 at 7:34 pm
My paternal grandfather once worked in the AB stables grooming the Bud Clydesdales – long, long ago.
That’s my only connection with Bud, or any other spirit.
16 will on Mar 21, 2008 at 10:57 pm
…much to Jack’s dismay.
17 Mr. Slick on Mar 22, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I’ve never wanted to be a crappy stanky “beer” more in my life!
18 Nelly McDairy on Mar 23, 2008 at 10:06 pm
***UPDATE BY DEMONIA***
ABOUT THE PHOTO MIKE HAS POSTED WITH THIS RIFF:
Palladium Times PHOTO CAPTION: Jenny Martin and her husband, Zach, leave the Oldham-Lincoln High School in good spirits.
The actual news article that was published with this photo: “I thought that the boys (on the high school basketball team) would appreciate a quick wet tee-shirt contest at half-time,” said Jenny Martin, of Oldham, Maine, “it just sucks, though, because I like didn’t have enough Gatorade left in my cup to get them very wet. My little gig didn’t go over so well, I guess. I meant to get them wetter. Much wetter.”
19 Cibernetico 2 on Mar 24, 2008 at 5:54 am
Great post. This is the greatest picture to ever be posted on the RiffTrax blog. It almost makes up for all those Shane McGowan photos
20 wakachiwaka on Mar 24, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Dear Jenny,
Thank you.
That is all.
21 matt on Mar 25, 2008 at 8:05 am
do americans even know how beer has to taste? i dont think so.
here in germany we got some REAL beer. not that water mixed with pee you got over there.
please dont take this statement seriously.
22 dinodance on Mar 25, 2008 at 12:11 pm
fyi the best beer in the world is brewed in Belgium, followed closely by the American craft scene. Germany’s a distant 3rd, with their boring uninspired lagers, although they ARE tasty, just bland overall
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