Punk violinist and former enfant terrible Nigel Kennedy recently noticed a pungent smell coming from his Guarneri Del Gasu (1735). When the odor became unbearable, he sold it…
To Dutch violinist Janine Jansen who couldn’t get near it due to the powerful stench. She off-loaded it…
On gullible “crossover” artist Vanessa Mae, who loved the rich tone but was only able to play it out in the fresh ocean breezes, which allowed her to avoid the inevitable nausea and vomiting.
She was finally able to shake the decayed mouse corpse pieces out through the f-holes and spray enough Febreeze inside of it to the point that she can now play it indoors without throwing up.
16 responses so far ↓
1 R.A. Roth on Mar 25, 2008 at 10:19 am
The title of Nigel Kennedy’s next CD:
“Smell the Violin”
The planned cover features chained naked ladies smelling classic violins beside a limpid coy pond being skimmed by Rob Schneider as Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.
Randy
[Reply to this]
2 Fran in the Pan on Mar 25, 2008 at 10:21 am
If he was really punk he wouldn’t have noticed the stench over his own body odor. Poseur!
[Reply to this]
3 Courtney on Mar 25, 2008 at 10:44 am
All the pictures except Nigel’s look like an ad for Summer’s Eve or Kotex. Not Nigel though. He’s got that not-so-fresh feeling.
[Reply to this]
4 NotMerrittStone on Mar 25, 2008 at 11:02 am
I smell a sequel to The Red Violin!
[Reply to this]
5 warwilf on Mar 25, 2008 at 11:06 am
Is there anything sadder than a smelly violin? Chin sweat alone can be pretty odorous, but a rotten mouse carcass? Pew.
Speaking of rodentia - Kopi Luwak Coffee makes an appearance on Mahalo Daily.
http://daily.mahalo.com/2008/03/24/md084-kopi-luwak-coffee-at-the-funnel-mill/
[Reply to this]
6 Rob T Firefly on Mar 25, 2008 at 11:10 am
Nausea-inducing string instruments? As if we didn’t have enough ecchs and violins in the news…
(Cracked Magazine circa 1989, eat your heart out!)
[Reply to this]
7 SaucyRossy on Mar 25, 2008 at 11:38 am
so funny…..
[Reply to this]
8 JackTheRIFFER on Mar 25, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Hey?? What’s up with this violin crap? Violins suck! Wher’s the bacon???
[Reply to this]
9 Barry on Mar 25, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Janine Jansen can play my violin anytime. Rrrowwrrr…
[Reply to this]
Reply from Mike Nelson on March 25, 2008:
Well, that’s nice of you. Do you own a Stradivarius or a Guar- OH! OH! Oh, my.
Oh, my.
10 mathey on Mar 25, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I read ‘f-holes’ and my mind went blank.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Erik on March 25, 2008:
Seconded.
11 Nelly McDairy on Mar 25, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I believe that I used to own this very violin. That’s why I went electric.
***UDATE BY DEMONIA:
Try playing an ELECTRIC instrument in any relatively deep body of water and ZAAAPPP!!!
[Reply to this]
Reply from wakachiwaka on March 25, 2008:
If you look closely, you’ll notice that Vanessa IS in fact bowing an electric fiddle in the Swimsuit edition.
Reply from Rob T Firefly on March 26, 2008:
Vanessa safely generates her own electricity, like a Misfit of Science.
Reply from wakachiwaka on March 26, 2008:
Vanessa safely generates her own electricity
Where can I plug in?
Is she AC or DC?
…and so on, and so on…
Leave a Comment