Thank you for your concern, but I am fine.
And I am greatly indebted to Bacon for showing me the error of my ways, without punishing me unduly. What was meted out was well deserved. 
Thank you, Bacon. (And anyone implying this is a sentient, highly advanced creature with octopus-like appendages is CRAZY! )
My memory is a little hazy, and I have few more hours of Reeducation to attend today. So I can’t stay long or answer questions, especially without strict supervision. (I just can’t be trusted, and I know that better than anyone!! )
To be clear, though: I love Bacon with all my heart, and would marry It if allowed.
And chorizo is a filthy lie.
Sincerely,
Baicloln
56 responses so far ↓
1 Natureboy (Ken) on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:11 pm
So, Baconetics helped you, right? Please sent a 2,000 check to L. Mike Nelson ASAP.
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2 Action Batch on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Oh Bill!
You had me worried! Wow. Chorizo? We don’ need no stinkin CHORIZO!!!
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3 Kris on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Don’t you guys see how much inadvertent advertising you’re doing for Kevin Bacon?
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4 gammer on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Welcome back to the ‘dark side’ Billy.
I would like to present to you some bacon flavored undies that will get JackTheRIFFER drooling over.
Oh, and I have some bacon smelling scratch-and-sniff books to help pass the time too.
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Reply from JackTheRIFFER on March 27, 2008:
Ohh! Bacon flavored undies!!! MMMMM…. I did fin out one thing in this horrible ordeal… Bacon is immune to .223 rounds. Who knew?
Reply from Action Batch on March 27, 2008:
Well sure, but what isn’t these days. Hang on, I’ll go get my M1 Springfield Scout and we’ll see if she can take a .305.
Reply from JackTheRIFFER on March 27, 2008:
Alright… I’ll grab my 12 guage and we can go bacon hunting!
5 BringBackMST3K on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Don’t believe it — it’s all a lie! They must have gotten Bill, and we’re all next!
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6 Jacob_Taylor on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:31 pm
BACON HAS YOUR EVIL NO BOUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!
This battle may have ended but the war rages on, Bacon, I shall not rest until your evil has been vanquished,
this I swear
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7 Onil on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Say it ain’t so, Bill.
The chorizo insurrection will just have to go underground.
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8 Courtney on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Sleep with one eye open, sir. There is no wrath like chorizo scorned.
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9 lame on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Bill knows who his true friends are. Without bacon, he would have been a dead man three lectures into The Matrix Reloaded!
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Reply from Bill Corbett on March 27, 2008:
Exactly. Bill has re-learned what is valuable, and powerful. Bill had to be corrected, but he’s fine now.
Sincerely,
BaiclolnBill.
10 Courtney on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:40 pm
And PS - I really don’t trust all those smiley faces. Did you by any chance just move in next door to Minnie and Roman Castevet?
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Reply from Jacob_Taylor on March 27, 2008:
It’s his Re-education…… CURSE THEM!!!!!!
11 Dave-o on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:49 pm
This is sounding a lot like A Clockwork Bacon…
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12 Riff-Martian on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Just stay away from that “Smart Bacon”!
http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,8237.0.html
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13 Barry on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Now you hunger as we do.
HUNGER.
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14 Biff on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Huh huh, you said “meted.”
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15 norgavue on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:14 pm
It’s good to see you have returned to the bacon side. Bacon assured me you would return and it did not disapoint.
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16 Jacob_Taylor on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:19 pm
wait a minute…….. you’re not Mr. Corbett!!
who are you?!
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Reply from Bill Corbett on March 27, 2008:
I am so very much Bill Corbett. He is so very much me.
Reply from anonymous on March 27, 2008:
Maybe you’ll find someone else to help you. Maybe Oscar Meyer, that was a joke, Ha Ha, fat chance.
Reply from Bill Corbett on March 27, 2008:
Anyway, this Bacon’s great.
It’s so delicious and crisp…
Look at me, still talking when there’s riffing to do
Reply from Jacob_Taylor on March 27, 2008:
When I look out there it makes me want to stop you
I have practices to run and there’s plans that must be drawn.
you tried to stop me but I’m still alive
Reply from Erik on March 27, 2008:
Portal references FTW!
17 Darth Chimay on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Somewhere, Kevin McCarthy is chasing down a truck filled with swine, screaming like a madman.
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Reply from Jacob_Taylor on March 28, 2008:
They’re here.
THEY’RE HERE!!!!!!
18 JackTheRIFFER on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:32 pm
All hail our Bacon overlords!
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19 Indianadelae on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Bacon loves all his faithful.
Bacon welcomes you home.
Bacon is the way.
Bacon is the way.
Bacon is the way.
Bacon is the way…
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20 Jacob_Taylor on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:42 pm
FOOLS!!!!! FOOLS ALL OF YOU!!!!
What…… No……..KEEP AWAY!!!……….KEE
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21 RemmieBarrow on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:02 pm
That’s a relief. For a second there this was turning into a bacony remake of “Old Yeller”.
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22 JackTheRIFFER on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:10 pm
No!! Get out of my house you bastards!! NOOOOO!!
Message from JackTheRIFFER,
Bacon is good, everyone needs to eat more bacon. It is healthy and tasty. Sausage are the evil ones.
END COMMUNICATION
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23 Olcas on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I see Kevin’s hand in all this…
He’s too deep in the Bacon conspiracy not to be the Master-rind….
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Reply from Jacob_Taylor on March 27, 2008:
Kevin……… Bacon……….. MY GOD!!!!
24 Tim D on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:16 pm
What Bill has been through is a proven program of dismantling a person’s self image, then rebuilding it with the feeling of well being that comes from giving yourself COMPLETELY to bacon.
Our subsidiary division, Bacon is Life LLC, will take your applications for this life changing program now.
Tim D
CEO and President
Council for the Advancement of Bacon Induced Insanity
Next to the Abandoned Warehouse on Hwy 16 - look behind the pile of used tires for the Bacon is Life Division
Souix City, IA
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Reply from Ariel "Digits" on March 27, 2008:
EVIL CORPORATE BASTARD!
There is still a resistance, we will prevail in the end! YOU CANNOT SILENCE US ALL!
25 Jacob_Taylor on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:21 pm
on the run……… stolen MacBook Pro……….. heading North
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Reply from Marathon Man on March 27, 2008:
You can do it Jacob! Go man go!
26 Ariel "Digits" on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I can’t believe you gave in. Somewhere *sob* somewhere in you is the bit of you that is crying for chorizo and ideals lost. Please! *sob* Don’t give in! Fight! Fight for all of us not strong enough to fight!
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27 Fortis on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Good luck Jacob…you are on a path now, and I wish you well…
Oh, and Bill, I worry for you. Turkey bacon is the way to go, it has all the deliciousness of regular bacon, but Turkey bacon doesn’t quite have the scary psychological effects as regular bacon.
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28 Fran in the Pan on Mar 27, 2008 at 3:08 pm
HELLO PEOPLE!! Is no one listening here - can’t we all open our eyes to the fact that Bill is GONE?! Re-education, serene peacefulness - this has the boll weevil’s written all over it!! Baicloln, Boll Weevil, BILL Weevil - what the hell is going on?!
Oh so frightened…
***
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29 Melman on Mar 27, 2008 at 3:48 pm
BACON IS PEOPLE!!!!
Wow, you should do a Rifftrax for Soylent Green, that would be awesome.
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30 Cibernetico 2 on Mar 27, 2008 at 5:23 pm
yes, I agree. Spanish style chorizo is a filthy lie. The particular chorizo you have a picture of in your blog is Spanish style.
Mexican style chorizo is a different animal altogether. Well, actually it is the same animal, but it’s a different… well you know
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31 Hugh on Mar 27, 2008 at 5:33 pm
Blink twice if this is all a front.
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Reply from Jacob_Taylor on March 27, 2008:
since “Mr. Corbett” has join “The Bacon Collective” “he” is no longer able to blink.
32 Eta on Mar 27, 2008 at 5:44 pm
War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Bacon is Strength
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33 Mr. Slick on Mar 27, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Sausage Bill, is your only salvation!
Let sausage be your salvation.
We know you’re being watched and that it may not be safe for you to answer, so knock once if you want help. Knock twice if you would like eggs with your bacon.
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34 Courtney on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:00 pm
PSS - I don’t know if anyone else noticed this, but the google ads on the side are all for either bacon or Jesus. Huh. I don’t know what to make of that.
And PSSS - this borders on spamming I think but I talk a bit about MST and Rifftrax in my latest column for the website I write for. Just click my name. I don’t talk about bacon though. I understand if that’s a deterrent.
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35 karen on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:33 pm
methinks a big chunk of bacon ate him and took over his mind. (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)
or they is just playing with us like never before. (mentally)
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36 Rude on Mar 27, 2008 at 9:18 pm
…
The war is coming, people of Earth! Beware: The Coming Bacon Invasion!
http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,8241.0.html
-Rude
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37 Onil on Mar 28, 2008 at 4:55 am
The Chorizo Boy reigns!
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38 waffen on Mar 28, 2008 at 6:50 am
Man, I was looking foward to see you confess your crimes at the show trial, Bill. What were you thinking, denouncing bacon like that?
The “RAT HAT” from 1984 works like a charm doesn’t Bill?
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39 R.A. Roth on Mar 28, 2008 at 10:44 am
Welcome back to the Wonderful World of Bacon, Bill. Eating a plate of cheese puffs wrapped in thick smoky Mediterranean style double-batter-dipped bacon just wasn’t the same without knowing that somewhere you too were enjoying the satisfying taste of exotic bacon.
Randy
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40 bigweirdguy on Mar 30, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Speaking of bacon, discovered something at my local Sal’s Pizza place. From the top, looks like a regular choc chip cookie: [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v698/bigweirdguy/0330081824a.jpg[/IMG]
But underneath:
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v698/bigweirdguy/0330081824b.jpg[/IMG]
Delicious Bacon!!!
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41 Pete on Apr 14, 2008 at 6:48 pm
If you ever fall off the bacon wagon again, all you need is to view the bacon bra. That’ll put you back on salted meat.
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