on Mar 27, 2008 at 5:54 am
Bacon will kill all of you
on Mar 27, 2008 at 5:58 am
Bill, honey, you’re scaring the kids…….
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:08 am
Now you see the truth.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:13 am
Wow, it’s like Cloverfield for RiffBlog.
And it’s making me just as queasy.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:14 am
I feel like The Others are behind all this. Someone get Locke on the phone.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:15 am
Now that Bill’s Bacon-induced madness is complete, I wish to thank all of the people here at the council for all of their unwavering support and tireless effort to make this all possible.
CEO and President
Council for the Advancement of Bacon Induced Insanity
Next to the Abandoned Warehouse on Hwy 16
Souix City, IA
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:20 am
You did it, you finally did it! You maniacs! You screwed him up. Damn you all, god damn you all to hell!!!!
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:34 am
OK… That’s it bacon… It’s go time! In the words of the prophetic Optimus Prime… “One shall stand, one shall fall!” Bring it on you wonderfully tasty (no, no love for bacon… resist it!) bastards! I’m gonna go Rambo, Commando, Robocop, and Jar Jar Binks on your ass!
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:49 am
Stay strong Mr. Corbett, stay strong.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:54 am
I feel like we should be doing something?
Oh well, I’m gonna go eat some bacon.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 6:58 am
It’s all making sense now…..yesterday the butcher charged me 5 bucks for 2 lbs. of bacon at $2 a pound…..
Two and two makes five…..my God, Bill…..
We’re through the looking glass, people.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 7:38 am
double you tee ef
on Mar 27, 2008 at 7:50 am
have you decoded any of it?? I can only make out “effort”.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 8:01 am
I’ve been doing some investigation on the clues Bill has been leaving. Amazing how it can be right before your eyes and you not even notice. Here’s what I’ve got:
GBD is the airport code for Grand Bend Municipal Airport, located in Great Bend Kansas. RJ is RJ Reynolds Global Products, Inc., sister company to RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company, maker of many fine brands of cigarette such as Camel and Pall Mall. Bill is trying to tell us that GDB equals RJ — i.e. they are one entity — i.e. RJ controls GDB. Somehow a multi-national corporation has taken control of a municipal airport in Great Bend, Kansas. Oh, the corruption!
Now bcn might be obvious, but it might also be the Banque Cantonale Neuchâteloise, a swiss bank known for its bacon holdings. The BCN is RJ’s main outlet for money laundering, tax evasions and major black market trades. This is a well known fact.
Now “agbm6,7″ is Ag (gold) Bacon Movement, Between 6 and 7 (a common code among black market dealers; the syntax uses any sort of abbreviation of the two items being traded, then ‘M’ for movement, and finally, a time, usually PM, expressed either as a single number, or, as in this case, a range separated by a comma). Obviously a major Gold-Bacon trade between the two companies is going down tonight between 6 and 7.
My best guess at “lmdkeff” would be that they have created a Life Model Decoy of Keff McCulloch, known for his score arrangements for one of the Dr. Who series. Perhaps “4t” is the size on the popular clothing scale for toddlers and young children, a reference to the decoy’s size. God only knows why such an abomination would have been created. We can only hope they haven’t created an entire army of these strange 3-foot-tall men.
I’ll be back later once I figure out the rest. I have to go now as I suspect they may be watching me already.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 8:17 am
Naw, it’s totally a secret code for ‘Dune is the next Rifftrax’.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 8:17 am
Bill… please don’t talk with your mouth full of delicious, crispy bacon. It’s just rude.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 8:53 am
On the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard, Bill’s startling message translates as follows:
I believe that’s correct, anyway. Not that it gets us any closer to what Bill is saying, but that’s the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw this message.
And until we get some answers as to what Bill’s rambling means, I will simply assume that he meant to pen the worst haiku ever. In which case, he succeeded with flying colors. Congratulations, Bill!
on Mar 27, 2008 at 8:54 am
I made a typo. The first word is “nil,” not “ndl.” I stuck an e where a c should have been. My bad.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 8:55 am
This is starting to look like the endgame of every Call of Cthulhu scenario I’ve ever ran.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 9:09 am
Bill you will not find a safe haven by fleeing to Canada. We have “Canadian Bacon” here…aka “Back Bacon”, eh.
Back Bacon is the ‘more evil’ cousin of normal bacon.
I suggest you change your route and head to Mexico.
p.s. many were killed to bring you this message. I hope you bring them honor by slaying the bacon monster.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 9:44 am
on Mar 27, 2008 at 9:47 am
BILL. IF YOU MADE IT TO IOWA, TYPE “44″.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 10:06 am
I think he is trying to tell us something!!
Bill..are you there?
on Mar 27, 2008 at 10:14 am
I’m not certain about the rest, but I definitely see “BM” in there.
Maybe this whole episode was brought on when Bill visited Burger King and indulged his craving for a “BM Stacker” . . .
on Mar 27, 2008 at 10:15 am
GBD= General Break Down
RJ= Random Jitter
agbm6= a general breakdown message (m6 sounds kinda like message)
as for the rest… I don’t know, It may wind up translating to “Be sure to drink your ovaltine”
except related to bacon
on Mar 27, 2008 at 10:27 am
Where is Virginia in all this????
on Mar 27, 2008 at 10:34 am
What if it isn’t bacon at all? What if it’s really pigs from space? No, wait, what if Bill has been dead all along? No. How about Bill thinks its the late 18th century but really it’s today? Well? Huh? Pretty good right?
on Mar 27, 2008 at 10:42 am
Consider yourselves WARNED!
on Mar 27, 2008 at 11:12 am
It’s north of North Carolina silly! What does that have to do with…oh. Oh you mean Mrs. Corbett. Yeah. Uh. I dunno.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:06 pm
tasty delicious bacon?!!! and none to share?!!!! where is the cirspy salty love?!!!
on Mar 27, 2008 at 12:54 pm
on Mar 27, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I really have never seen a bacony freakout in a blog before to be honest.
on Mar 27, 2008 at 2:15 pm
My God….It’s full of Bacon….
on Mar 27, 2008 at 4:59 pm
This is getting serious. Bacon detox delusions…
on Mar 28, 2008 at 10:25 am
Billllllll, are you trying to summon the elder gods again?
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