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Entries from April 2008

It’s nice to know…

April 30th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 30 Comments

…that they still make album covers like this:

Ladies and gentlemen… WOLFMOTHER!! *
* Not to be confused with:

(I kinda like them, actually.)
**UPDATE FROM MIKE**
And that they still make guys like this:

Now that Leo Sayer has passed on*, it’s nice to have a good sub.

*by “passed on” I mean of course “living in Australia“.

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Tags: RiffTrax

Personal Time Machine contest winner!

April 30th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 21 Comments

There were many excellent entries in our Why do YOU need a personal time machine? contest: lots of very funny ones, and a few that were actually touching — even to a crabby old cuss like myself.

But this pithy metaphysical entry by Thorin Teague wins the grand prize:

Thorin Teague on Apr 24, 2008 [...]

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Larry the Cable Guy, pah!

April 29th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 15 Comments

We now own – OWN – the ringtone market.

Bill as Bonesaw; Kevin calling you names; Mike exhorting you to remember the most important thing about pain you’ll ever learn – all emanating from your pocket! And unless and until you’ve heard Disembaudio croak out his own special paint-peelingly wonderful take on “Carol of the Bells”, [...]

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Are you Legend?

April 29th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 30 Comments

I am. In the neighborhood where I grew up, my skills on a pogo stick were indeed the stuff of Legend. People gathered around to watch as I did hundreds of bounces in a row. My god, did the masses adore me!
Likewise, I am Legend for the amount of um, sickness, that [...]

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I finally made a LOLCAT!

April 28th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 25 Comments

It’s a big day for me. Feels like I’ve finally caught up to our popular culture, after a long, difficult run. Whew!
So is this the general idea?

I’ll be outside working on my Edsel and drinking a TAB, if anyone has notes.
23 skidoo,
BC
(Make your own incorrigible kittens, puppies, or Hillary Clintons, at I Can [...]

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Sweet Drinkable Bacon

April 28th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 17 Comments

I try to put aside time every day to eat bacon, but some days, what with my having to occasionally speak without bacon slurry in my mouth, and having to be around people who, God forbid, don’t find the sight of me munching down slice after slice to be charming or even desirable to watch [...]

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Introducing Chrysaor

April 28th, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 10 Comments

Pegasus had a brother? Who knew! Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Chrysaor! The Frank Stallone of his time, Chrysaor sprung from Medusa’s neck after Perseus decapitated her, but for some reason is not a winged horse, but just some regular dude. While Pegasus achieved world wide fame including the Tri Star Pictures logo, [...]

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CERN, God’s Domain, and the tampering therein

April 28th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 31 Comments

The European Organization for Nuclear Research (a.k.a. CERN – the Europeans are no better at acronyms than they are at, say, playing baseball or designing electrical outlets) is getting closer to their goal of tampering with the very structure of the universe using their shiny new Large Hadron Collider (no acronym as of yet, so [...]

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Help! I need your help!

April 26th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 30 Comments

I’ve been presented with a multi-million dollar opportunity to adapt the following 80s music video from Van Halen into a major motion picture!
But I don’t know what in blazes is going on here!! So please describe the story as succinctly as possible, so that even a slug-witted jamoke like myself can understand!!!
If [...]

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Jet-Man!

April 25th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 20 Comments

Well, I’m getting one:

Can’t be that expensive. It’ll make getting to work a breeze (only me, some eagles and Jet-Man competing for the space). Only downside is having to cozy up to someone who owns his own airplane and is fine with giving me a lift every morning.

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It’s time to admit it.

April 24th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 67 Comments

I have a thing for odd animals, especially of the oversized variety.
My latest love? The Coconut Crab.

It’s the biggest land-dwelling arthropod in the world. So if he wants to eat your garbage, mister, you let him.
And why the name? Because they’re actually strong enough to break coconuts with their claws.

Aren’t [...]

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Teen Repellent

April 24th, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 47 Comments

RiffTrax World Headquarters remain entirely teen-free thanks to the hundreds of “mosquito noise” teen repellers that I ordered my 2nd day on the job here.

I love them almost unconditionally. What stops me just short is that because I am now and have always been fastidious about protecting my hearing, the noise they put out is [...]

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The Jar Jar Binks Potato

April 23rd, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 20 Comments

Available on ebay, the bidding starts at $20.  Personally, even though it’s a bit of a stretch, I was enjoying life more before I came across this.

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Tags: RiffTrax · movies

Why do YOU need a personal time machine?

April 23rd, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 67 Comments

It’s really impractical NOT to have a personal time machine, in my opinion, so I have more reasons for needing one that I can possibly fit here. That’s why I have a long ongoing list at home.
But I update it frequently. Today I added these items:
1) So I can back to [...]

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Go, Doc Hopper!

April 22nd, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 18 Comments

I’ve always known that actor Charles Durning was a veteran, but now that he is being honored by France, and I see some of the details, I stand in awe:
Actor Charles Durning landed on Normandy’s Omaha Beach as a 17-year-old Army Ranger in June 1944. Before leaving Europe, he was wounded three times and awarded [...]

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