…Wants you to know that he doesn’t like you very much at all. It’s difficult for him not to like you, but when his energy is relentlessly devoted to loving himself, well, there’s really nothing left for you, is there? No, sorry.
Vincent knows and understands this. Actually he resents this. In fact, what the hell do you want from Vincent Gallo? He’s out there working, day in and day out, attending parties, posing in his underpants, insulting people for no reason; you know, being an artist. Why should he spend a half a moment on you? 
How dare you even ask him?! See? it’s your fault Vincent Gallo loathes you, you and your pathetic desire for Vincent to spend even a nanosecond thinking abut anybody or anything besides Vincent. How can he work under these conditions?!
There, now you’ve done it. The brilliant song Vincent had running through his head is gone. he hopes you’re proud of yourself. Now just sit there, and shut up, and listen closely while Vincent shows his undying contempt for you in this delicately rendered masterpiece.
+
+
UPDATE by Bill:
Spinning girls in underwear makes Vincent cry.
And yeah, that last girl is exactly who you suspect it is.*
(* Not Sandra Day O’Connor, FYI.)
34 responses so far ↓
1 The Cutter on Apr 3, 2008 at 11:35 am
You better be careful Kevin, he’ll sick the Brown Bunny on you and we all know that isn’t pretty…
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Reply from Amanda on April 3, 2008:
Yikes. I was just sitting here thinking ‘Vincent Gallo? Is he the Brown Bunny guy?’ Now I find my fears confirmed.
Reply from The Cutter on April 3, 2008:
I’m sorry Amanda, fear isn’t usually something I try to instill. Or is it?
2 Ninjew on Apr 3, 2008 at 11:36 am
Wow. It’s amazing how such an ugly guy can make such delicious wine…
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3 JackTheRIFFER on Apr 3, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Yeah??? Well you suck Gallo!
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4 SaucyRossy on Apr 3, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Kevin thank goodness you didn’t post that one picture of Senor Gallo…..pretentious prick.
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5 Virginia Corbett on Apr 3, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Hey, I think I wrote that song in third grade. I want my royalties, Gallo!
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6 Anthony on Apr 3, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Got a problem with me, huh? You can bite me, Gallo, you raging megatool. You and your crazyman-eyes. …Seriously, he looks in that first picture like he’s just GOT to have a basement full of dead hobos and streetwalkers.
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7 RemmieBarrow on Apr 3, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Its not his eyes that bug me. Its that scraggly beard that really creeps me out. I guess some people cannot or should not wear beards.
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8 MikeP on Apr 3, 2008 at 2:51 pm
His whole life is a piece of comedic performance art. I’m not surprised that so many people misunderstand him, since not everybody gets Gallo’s humor.
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Reply from Kevin Murphy on April 4, 2008:
I prefer gallows humor.
-kwm
Reply from MikeP on April 4, 2008:
I need to make my puns less subtle less time, apparently.
9 warwilf on Apr 3, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Don’t get Vincent mad, he’ll put the Siskel and Ebert curse on you!
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10 edgewriter on Apr 3, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Didn’t he go to high school with our good pal Crispin Glover?
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11 warwilf on Apr 3, 2008 at 5:26 pm
And those videos make me think of that DILDO sign, for some reason.
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12 Your Cousin Vinny on Apr 3, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Vincent Gallo?
Vincent Gallo’s dead!
My name is Vincent Callo! C-a-l-l-o!
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13 Onil on Apr 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I trust we can all form a proper queue for the first annual Let’s Everyone Kick Vincent Gallo Squarely in the Nuts Day.
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14 Dave-o on Apr 3, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Vincent Gallo looks a lot like Charlie Manson…
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15 Eddie Colton on Apr 3, 2008 at 7:51 pm
How The Corbett Marriage Survives, Part One
“No, honey… it’s… it’s for a blog entry… yeah… *typetypetype* there, see?”
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16 Courtney on Apr 3, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Anyone else ever notice that Vincent Gallo *is* the grizzled Pipper from “Final Sacrifice”?
http://pipperdigs.ytmnd.com/
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17 pbrstreetgang on Apr 4, 2008 at 5:04 am
He looks like a guy who thinks the matrix movies are deeply philosophical and can stay up all night talking about them.
His vision of hell is a place where they are no mirrors and he can’t hear his own voice.
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18 Elizabeth Young on Apr 4, 2008 at 10:40 am
I’d like to thank Vincent Gallo for personally killing God. I had always questioned the existence of a higher power but now I know that when I die there will be nothing but a black void…a void I am looking forward to.
And by the way Vince, when you drug the women in your films do also feel the need to bruise them before or after the Roofies kick in?
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19 R.A. Roth on Apr 4, 2008 at 11:21 am
The first tart is Courtney Love or an incredible simulation of a drug-spent whore who lucked into a fortune by marrying an angst-ridden wreck of humanity with a knack for writing songs the kids really dig.
Randy
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Reply from R.A. Roth on April 4, 2008:
I forgot to add…
PRETENTIOUS GIT!
Randy
20 Bill Corbett on Apr 4, 2008 at 11:32 am
HONEY BUNNY
by V. Gallo
Honey bunny
My baby girl friend
Sweetheart
My sugar girl friend
Where are you
Eyes of blue dear
You are my
My everyday girl
And everyday, everyday
I think of your smile
Oh darling
You’re my darling
I can take you away
I can wonder with you
Wonder everyday
And darling
I can see you
When I close my eyes
And in my dreams
You’re always there
Darling you remember
The days we would spend
And happy the place
I could take you there
We’re like dreamers
In nice colors
Childlike dreamers
Underwater
We’re the dreamers
In nice colors
And the colors
Are like summer
On and on
On and on
On and on
Oh
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Reply from Casey on April 4, 2008:
Its amazing how when you HEAR something like this it does strike you as being just a tad silly but when you READ it..and your brain is given time to analyze it. It just brings tears to my eyes.
Reply from Chris on April 4, 2008:
“Childlike dreamers…Underwater”??
He must have had a pleasant childhood.
21 MonkeyCheezPants on Apr 4, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Is he still selling his sperm on his website?
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22 Samuel on Apr 4, 2008 at 2:31 pm
After having sat through the whole dang video I started to cry myself. No, I wasn’t touched by the visual and auditory stimulus. In fact, that made me cringe. What did it for me is the question, “why.” Go ahead, watch the video again and ponder that question as you listen and see everything again. You’ll be bawling like a baby toward the end.
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23 John Fountain on Apr 4, 2008 at 3:54 pm
As someone who, through sheer necessity, has found himself living in Los Angeles and working in the rear-end of the entertainment industry (animation), I am sad to report that Vincent’s ‘essence’ is ubiquitous in the streets of this sad town.
As such, I have to trudge through my daily grind knowing that he’s out there somewhere… little chunks of his dandruff drifting into the Santa Anna breezes. It is quite possible - even likely - that these flakey bits find their way into my own lungs from time to time. Ick.
Unfortunately, ‘Vincent’ is not merely one person… he’s many people in this town. Pretentious, self-important film-school clowns who slick the streets with the oil that perpetually drips from their ironically unwashed forms.
He and his cronies almost make me hope that my childlike, innocent faith in a benevolent supreme being is 100% false and that God is a tyrannical, vengeful ultraconservative beast who will sentence Vincent and his uber-hip Hollywood-art-crowd to the deepest pits of hell just for having long hair (even if it means I get sent there as well for having a mullet in college).
Whew. I feel better now. I’ve been waiting for an appropriate internet forum with which to voice my disliking of Gallo - so I thank you for your time.
Now which way to the Kim Kardashian fan page?
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24 Natureboy (Ken) on Apr 6, 2008 at 5:07 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJBiBU2o0nM
Here is Gallo playing keyboard (with his feet, I think).
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25 Gerald Shields on Apr 6, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Up intil Paris, that video was erotic. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!!
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26 ldt on Apr 9, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Ah Mr. Gallo… Lou Reed called and he wants his sound back…
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27 Shuwadhi on Apr 23, 2008 at 3:05 pm
You know it never occurred to me until now who Vincent Gallo reminds me of, and why I loathe him so much.
Vincent Gallo is this generation’s Jim Morrison.
On the other hand, Jim Morrison had something that could possibly considered talent, so maybe not. But I’d say Gallo definitely rivals, if not surpasses, Morrison in terms of raw, unbridled, arrogant, pretentious douche-ness.
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