And dude, I’m like, WHOA, seriously bro, what is that, man? I mean, totally. Dude!
SPOILER-TYPE-THING ahead!
For those of you who have seen the movie… can you offer us a viable theory as to what the smaller bug-spider-crab-facehugger guys were?
We are confused and disoriented. And somewhat drunk. (It’s after 2 PM, after all.)
(Boll weevil image above will have to substitute for these bug critters, since Google Images produces little.)
47 responses so far ↓
1 NickE on Apr 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Groupies. Creepy, grabby Clovie groupies.
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2 Slade Rockfist on Apr 17, 2008 at 2:45 pm
They were offspring of the creature that drops off of it…..that’s all there is to know, I think….
Sorry that wasn’t humorous or clever….
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3 Jacob_Taylor on Apr 17, 2008 at 2:50 pm
they were Parasites.
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4 Rob T Firefly on Apr 17, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Evil giant hipster-eating sea monsters constantly shed hideous alien dandruff from the bowels of hell, which itself also eats hipsters and is evil and hideous.
It’s the kraken equivalent of the heartbreak of psoriasis.
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5 Conor Lastowka on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I am curious to know how this knowledge happens to become known by people. Curious is actually the wrong way to put it. Very wrong. But seriously, once you leave the theater, since no information is offered up as to what these creatures are, what is step one in finding out what they actually are?
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Reply from Jacob_Taylor on April 17, 2008:
the great and powerful Wiki
Reply from Benjamin Hall on April 18, 2008:
All the extra info has been pieced together from the various viral marketing websites that came out with the movie. It took some detective work.
And those that did the work then posted their findings on wiki’s and IMDB.
Reply from Conor Lastowka on April 18, 2008:
By 2013, all movies will just consist of people advancing the plot by reading about it on forums
Reply from Slade Rockfist on April 19, 2008:
J.J. Abrams and the director gave interviews about what the creatures are and what the big monster is and why it thrashes New York and why people that were bitten explode and all that stuff, but like anything to do with J.J. Abrams, you have to hunt around online to find out anything about it…..
Keyword: Slusho
6 RemmieBarrow on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I never saw the movie (maybe it was all the hype that proceeded the film that turned me off from seeing that film), but off the top of my head I would have to say they were big bugs, maybe, I think.
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7 Shamalama on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I too had little luck with google images:
[img]http://tallfreak.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/rosie-oterror.jpg[/img]
But this capture may yet enlighten us as to the purpose and whereabouts of the offspring of the seemingly asexual Cloverfield (if that truly is her real name!)
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8 Shamalama on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Is this html??!
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9 Shamalama on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:32 pm
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Reply from wakachiwaka on April 18, 2008:
Well put.
10 Onil on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:38 pm
“And dude, I’m like, WHOA, seriously bro, what is that, man? I mean, totally. Dude!”
You forgot to add Did you SEE that? WHAT happened! And my favorite Did YOU see what HAPPENED?!
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Reply from wurwolf on April 18, 2008:
Don’t forget “Central Park”.
11 RW on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Here’s my best guess:
http://www.toytokyo.com/shopping/index.php/page/product/product_id/6644
As you can see, the teeth are very sharp and could cause some real damage.
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12 Hugh on Apr 17, 2008 at 3:54 pm
SERIOUS ANSWER: I’ve always been under the impression that they were parasitic creatures living on the monster.
NON-SERIOUS ANSWER: Blarflnarflorm.
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Reply from Action Batch on April 18, 2008:
Sorry, Mrs. Blarflnarflorm doesn’t live here.
Oh, uh, Unicef Man?
Unicef Man? Well that’s different.
13 MikeP on Apr 17, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Bill, I believe this video explains it very well;
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NN-WOAlL0Zk
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14 ShutterBun on Apr 17, 2008 at 4:48 pm
They are called “parasites” according to official sources, though I rather imagined them as being like alien Pilot Fish.
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15 JoshWay on Apr 17, 2008 at 6:09 pm
They’re monster cooties, and they’re nothing to be ashamed of.
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Reply from Onil on April 17, 2008:
If they are indeed cooties, will the old circle circle dot dot work on them?
16 JoshWay on Apr 17, 2008 at 6:51 pm
Yes, but you have to do it with a thermonuclear missile.
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17 G-Force on Apr 17, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Its simple… Anti-Bacon extremists…
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18 ety3 on Apr 18, 2008 at 12:26 am
Giant monster equivalent of remora, eating the scraps of whatever the creature leaves behind while it traverses the bottom of the sea.
But, of course, when you’re in Manhattan, you can just jump off whenever you’d like and chomp on some soldiers. And Marlena.
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19 BenderRodriguez on Apr 18, 2008 at 3:03 am
Were those things in the movie?
Because I seriously fell asleep.
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20 Eddie Colton on Apr 18, 2008 at 6:02 am
I thought it was a cameo by Matthew Broderick.
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21 Yanni on Apr 18, 2008 at 6:03 am
I don’t know, but I think we should give them a round of applause for killing that goth chick.
One moment please. *Uh huh…oh really? Oh, I see.
Apparently that was a spoiler, so, um, if you care you probably shouldn’t read that.
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Reply from Tim D on April 18, 2008:
No no! I’t’s actually alright. Now I’m looking forward to seeing the movie.
22 Matt on Apr 18, 2008 at 8:18 am
The comments in this post are a big *yawn*. Is the Rifftrax itself gonna sound like the same whining you can find on IMDB? Because that’s what this post and the comments within leads me to believe. A sad day.
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Reply from Yanni on April 18, 2008:
Sounds like somebody likes Cloverfield a little too much…
Reply from Bill Corbett on April 18, 2008:
“The comments in this post are a big *yawn*. “
Your comment, by contrast, was utterly fascinating.
Teach us!
Reply from King Dinosaur on April 18, 2008:
This guy has to be one of those “die-hard” fans who can’t stand anyone who mocks “THE GREATEST MONSTER MOVIE EVER”.
But he’s right about one thing: *yawn*. That’s how I felt after watching Cloverfield.
Reply from Natureboy (Ken) on May 4, 2008:
Complaining about a blog post than is complaining about a movie. Yes, there is great wisdom here!
23 R.A. Roth on Apr 18, 2008 at 10:11 am
Look closely and you’ll notice those little critters are the spit and image of the Blair Witch.
Randy
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24 Meredith on Apr 18, 2008 at 11:37 am
I thought they were Plot-Advancing Scorpions, that existed to make travel through the subway unsafe.
Oh, and that was kind of a spoiler.
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25 Neb on Apr 18, 2008 at 11:43 am
I am very proud of the fact that I had not even heard of this movie until this blog post! If it’s as awful as Blair Witch, it should be an amusing Riff.
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26 Michael on Apr 18, 2008 at 11:53 am
Bill you have my sympathy for having to watch this POS (I assume several times since you had to write all the riffs for it). I saw it in the theaters and got yelled at for riffing it, that’s how bad it was. Can’t wait to see what you, Mike, and Kevin do to it.
And methinks that Matt above has a crush on Cloverfield and that’s why he’s so defensive.
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Reply from Action Batch on April 18, 2008:
Well quite honestly, growing up I had quite the crush on Mothra, so, I guess I see where he’s coming from.
Reply from Yanni on April 18, 2008:
Well yeah, that’s becuase Mothra’s hot, but you can’t even see this Cloverfield guy…
Reply from Meredith on April 18, 2008:
Well, some people like the mysterious type.
27 BSnPapproved on Apr 18, 2008 at 8:07 pm
They’re parasitoids. We use beneficial insect parasitoids to get rid of insect pests. I guess that means in this sense they are biological control agents of the human race.
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28 ShadowDog on Apr 19, 2008 at 11:09 pm
I haven’t seen the movie so I have no idea what they are. But the funny thing is, Cloverfield has proven to me that I am completely and totally Rifftrax’s bitch because I had been living life happy in the knowledge that nothing on this Earth could ever force me to watch this hideous movie … until you guys riffed it. Now I must have it.
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29 A.M.P. on Apr 20, 2008 at 5:55 am
My guess is as good as yours, Bill.
Btw, I’m exercising my right to abstain from voting in the current poll about Cloverfield. Either voters thought it rocked, sucked, or haven’t seen it, but there is NO option to vote “Eh, it was alright”.
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30 AC on Apr 22, 2008 at 12:06 pm
So are we getting the riff today?
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31 DavidW on Apr 24, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Seems like I was with the general theories I figured they injected eggs into the victims and they grew rapidly like a chestburster x10 only problem is there was no little versions of them in the mess… or that we were allowed to see anyway.
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