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Poor kid

April 19th, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 49 Comments

This couldn’t have been easy:

    poorkid

Tags: RiffTrax

49 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Roper on Apr 19, 2008 at 1:01 am

    That Bifidus Regularis™ is some powerful stuff.

  • 2 The Schnorr on Apr 19, 2008 at 1:15 am

    Mr. Corbett, I was drinking hot tea when I read this.

    You, sir, owe me a new keyboard and speakers. (Or at least some pity.)

  • 3 Su Fabie on Apr 19, 2008 at 2:19 am

    I had no idea that just like corn kernels venison has a tendency to come out whole like that.

    Maybe he needs to chew more.

    I’m just sayin’

  • 4 Jacob_Taylor on Apr 19, 2008 at 3:23 am

    ow

  • 5 Ninjew on Apr 19, 2008 at 4:46 am

    This would never have happened if The Baconator was available in Burnet County…

  • 6 MikeP on Apr 19, 2008 at 5:14 am

    This is what happens when you eat venison jerky without chewing thoroughly: it rehydrates in your stomach and… I don’t really want to describe the rest of the process, but needless to say that poor boy will never, ever again underestimate dessicated meat product.

  • 7 Casey on Apr 19, 2008 at 5:49 am

    …. So thats why the sunday school kids get all excited and big-eyed when they inform me that they “PASSED a buncha deer on the way to church.”

  • 8 Onil on Apr 19, 2008 at 6:04 am

    I’d alert the local press and take a picture too if I did the same thing.

  • 9 The Professor on Apr 19, 2008 at 6:15 am

    The buck doesn’t look too happy about it either.

  • 10 Amanda on Apr 19, 2008 at 6:59 am

    Well, don’t hang it from a tree! I don’t care how impressive of a feat that is.

  • 11 Scooter on Apr 19, 2008 at 8:05 am

    page 9? Come on, this should be front page news!

  • 12 Rob T Firefly on Apr 19, 2008 at 10:35 am

    That’s nothing, you should see what happens when he belches.

  • 13 Tv Miller on Apr 19, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Like pork through a cat I say.

    “Pa had to put two in it ‘cuz it was still kick’n.”

  • 14 R.A. Roth on Apr 19, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Thank the Lord it wasn’t a 9-point buck!

    Randy

  • 15 MonkeyCheezPants on Apr 19, 2008 at 11:41 am

    And his name: “Tyler Cannon”. I imagine the Cannon family is hard on the restroom fixtures.

  • 16 mathey on Apr 19, 2008 at 11:44 am

    He looks so proud.

    Or is that relieved?

  • 17 Bill Corbett on Apr 19, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    I’m guessing it’s a stage name.

  • 18 RemmieBarrow on Apr 19, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    I feel sorry for the deer.

  • 19 Rowsdower on Apr 19, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    So whats the big deal? I mean, who cant swallow and pass an eight point buck? Let me know when young Tyler moves on to more impressive game, like some caribou or a moose. Thats right try shitting a moose next time before calling the press Mr. Tyler “I Crap Wildlife” Cannon”.

  • 20 Chris on Apr 19, 2008 at 1:11 pm

    I think the real question is… did it come out Head First?

  • 21 AmandaGal on Apr 19, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    And to think us ladies complain about giving birth.

  • 22 Courtney on Apr 19, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    Brought to you by the National Council of Colonic Irrigation, encouraging you to get monthly colonics. Don’t let this happen to you.

  • 23 Take5 on Apr 19, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    That’s nothing… you should have seen the time he tried gator meat.

  • 24 MikeP on Apr 19, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    Are you saying that he excretes wildlife professionally?

  • 25 Bill Corbett on Apr 19, 2008 at 5:33 pm

    Yes.

    Have you never been to Branson?

  • 26 MikeP on Apr 19, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    I read somewhere that Yakov Smirnoff has set up shop in Branson. ‘In Soviet Russia, deer shits you!”

  • 27 Chris on Apr 19, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    Let me guess… a whole set of Matched Luggage ?

  • 28 MSTJedi on Apr 19, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Obviously that’s a typo. We all know the past tense is “shat”.

  • 29 Courtney on Apr 20, 2008 at 10:30 am

    Somewhere Jack Palance is weeping as he’s finally been outcrapped.

  • 30 Pezdrake on Apr 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    At least they managed “buck” witout the typo. Still, I have to imagine this kid and his family all excited about his picture being in the aper and running out to get it that morning, telling all the friends and family members that his picture was going to be in the paper and…
    “Ah, Tyler there’s your picture…”

    “Why are you coverin’ up the part where it says my name?”

    “Okay… there’s your name right there next to my finger.”

    “Why are you covering up the rest of what it says I wanna see!”

  • 31 Natureboy (Ken) on Apr 20, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    This public service announcement brought to you by Colon Blow cereal.

  • 32 Artist Aaronius, Formerly Known as Aaron on Apr 20, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    that is just damn amazing

  • 33 Teaser on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:54 am

    Early Life lesson……disappointment style!

  • 34 Teaser on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:55 am

    He should start a zoo

  • 35 Livia on Apr 21, 2008 at 8:22 am

    I dunno, I think my family would have gone out and bought like 50 copies of the paper to save or send off to relatives. That typo is just to funny not to share!

  • 36 gammer on Apr 21, 2008 at 10:31 am

    Kind of reminds me of the South Park episode: “More Crap”

  • 37 edgewriter on Apr 21, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    That’s nothin’. Last week I thought I was passing a kidney stone. It was a poodle.

  • 38 Krunchy on Apr 22, 2008 at 8:42 am

    I thought the same thing. If it starts talking about saving the rainforests and wearing sunglasses all the time, I think the government might have to do something about it.

  • 39 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:38 am

    Wow imagine his mom’s face when he told her the story….

    Boy: Hay MOM!!! You will never believe this… LOOK!!!

    Mom: Oh you men always showing… off …. OH MY GOD!!!

    Dad: That’s my boy…. somebody call Ripley’s we’re gonna make a fortune!!!

    Mom: Our son sh*t’s a deer and you want to tell the world, what’s next Gerald, are you going to phone your parents? Maybe you would like to tell Rev. Ronaldson all about it. I will not step foot outside this house I swear to you….

    Boy: Dad! Maybe we can get on Leno!!!!

    Dad: That’s my boy!!!

    Mom: Gerald are you listening to me, we are not I repeat not telling another soul about this… Gerald don’t you dare pick up that phone.

    Dad: Yes is this the Burnet County Gazett?

    Mom: Gerald, don’t you role your eye’s at me…

    Dad: Yes my son just sh*t a 8 point buck, do you think you could send someone out… great thank you oh yes we will be here all day making calls…

    Boy: Cool!!!

    Mom: GERALD!!!!!

  • 40 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:47 am

    Thar be wales here!!!!
    Thar be Elephants too!!!

    lol

  • 41 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:48 am

    I just hope he wiped before they took that picture!!!

  • 42 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:49 am

    Nope, he was digging gator teeth out of his arse for a week!!!

  • 43 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:50 am

    As in Shattner??

  • 44 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:52 am

    With a full eight point buck in every bite!!!!!

    lol

  • 45 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:52 am

    I hear his family considered it but reconsidered saying it was a crappy idea to start with.

  • 46 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 4:53 am

    No not Poopy Poodle’s!!!!

  • 47 QuackersnCheese on Apr 24, 2008 at 5:09 am

    Did anyone else notice it said the pic was a courtesy photo? Who was being courteous? Shure as h*ll wasn’t the deer I can tell you that much. I haven’t crapped out any deer that I can recall but if I had, I doubt the deer would say here send this picture of you standing next to me telling the world what you just did and how I ended up in the end, rump, arse, your arse, DOH!!!

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