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Come and dance and love the fish!

April 21st, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 26 Comments

(No doubt many of you have already seen this item. But it made me laugh out loud when I first saw it, so here it is in case a few of you haven’t.)

Below is a video from 1980 of the German supergroup Dschinghis Khan performing their hit song “Moskau.” The lyrics have been rendered into English by an enterprising Dayton, Ohio native who goes by the name of Buffalax. It hasn’t actually been translated in the standard sense, mind you — just phonetically changed into English by sound.

Buffalax has done this for a whole bunch of other videos, including some Bollywood production numbers, as you can see on his YouTube page. But the already-goofy material makes this one the funniest I’ve seen.

Enter the Hymen Store:

Of course, the Japanese are never to be outdone when it comes to pure, uncut bizarro. Here’s their take on the same song. No translation, but Kikkoman-level weirdness:

(If you’re interested, there’s some info about these colorful German dance machines after the cut.)

More info on Dschinghis Khan, from this link:

Dschinghis Khan was a German pop band created in 1979 to compete in the Eurovision Song Contest. The name of the band is the German spelling of “Genghis Khan”, and was chosen to fit the song of the same name written and produced by Ralph Siegel with lyrics by Bernd Meinunger. Appearing at the height of the disco boom and following on the heels of other German-produced bands such as Boney M, Arabesque, and Silver Convention, the band achieved wide popularity throughout the world, especially in Europe, Russia, and Japan, though they went wholly unnoticed in the United States. Their songs invariably were themed on historical figures and exotic cultures and locales. Though the group broke up in the mid-1980s, it has enjoyed a recent resurgence in popularity on the internet due to a video of them peforming their hit song Moskau being discovered.)

Other posts by Bill Corbett

Tags: RiffTrax

26 responses so far ↓

  • 1 dignan on Apr 21, 2008 at 10:08 am

    Very reminiscent of Boney M’s “Rasputin,” I thought.
    Also, which one is Mr. Disco? I bet a lot of people will assume it’s the imposing gentleman in red, but I’ll guess it’s the sort of Jefferson Starship-looking guy in green.

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    Reply from Take5 on April 21, 2008:

    I made the same connection to Boney M. I think it’s that they’re saying “Moscow” and it’s disco.

    Jesus, that was too funny.

    Reply from dignan on April 22, 2008:

    Oh yeah, that…that would make sense.

  • 2 RemmieBarrow on Apr 21, 2008 at 10:32 am

    I do not know for sure but both versions seem to be very high on the weird meter. (And how do they know that Porcelain is the surest thing).

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  • 3 Darth Chimay on Apr 21, 2008 at 10:37 am

    Once again, Dokken whines about how inequitable it all is. No one forced them to do Dream Warriors.

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  • 4 Tim D on Apr 21, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Was the ladle from the Hymen store? And Dinah Steeler is a SAINT! Great, now I’ll get scorched and burned. Kite me a sign, somebody!!!!!!

    I need to sit down. Oh wait, I am sitting down. That was fast.

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  • 5 Livia on Apr 21, 2008 at 10:54 am

    Oh man, I LOVE that Moskau translation. However, I always get a little miffed when they say, “Don’t worry Bill is dead”… Don’t worry?! You’re my favorite Riffer, so naturally I’m gonna worry! :-P

    I’m glad you’re not actually dead Bill. Unless you are, and the bacon overlords are simply masquerading as you using your hollowed out carcass…I’ll just hope that’s not the case. :-(

    Oh, and that Japanese version was all kinds of brilliant.

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  • 6 MikeP on Apr 21, 2008 at 11:05 am

    I actually recognized one of the characters in the Japanese version. Muska from Miyazaki’s Castle in the Sky makes an appearance, presumably because the name sounds like “Moskau”.

    How odd.

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  • 7 Casey on Apr 21, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    wow…. almost as haunting as Sting’s “Russians.”

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  • 8 Rufus T. on Apr 21, 2008 at 12:23 pm

    Bill….are you, in fact, a handyman?

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Bill Corbett on April 22, 2008:

    The best, my friend.

  • 9 Elizabeth Young on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    I am very excited to utilize the phrase “Enter the Hymen Store” when I am trying to entice young men to pleasure me physically.

    This should clear all the confusion that I have encountered when using my current seductive phrase, “Would you like to make a return to Bob’s Meat Emporium”? To which most reply, “What?”

    Thank you Bill.

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  • 10 Kyle on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    The Hymen Store: When your hymen breaks call us!

    [Reply to this]

    Reply from Bill Corbett on April 22, 2008:

    Former Yankees great Phil Rizzuto did commercials for The Hymen Store when I was growing up in the NYC area.

    Of course, given the sensibilities of the time, “hymen” was called “money.”

  • 11 Tv Miller on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    I always wondered what an opening act for ABBA in the 70’s might have looked like.

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  • 12 R.A. Roth on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:42 pm

    This “translation” is only an angstrom less lucid than the lyrics to any metal ballad.

    Randy

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  • 13 MSTJedi on Apr 21, 2008 at 2:53 pm

    Ah, greatness in the vein of MXC.

    And it seems that the Japanese aren’t immune from the lure of ironic phonetic mistranslation. Don’t really get it because I don’t speak Japanese, but the visuals are nice and freaky.

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  • 14 Amanda on Apr 21, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Please, please, PLEASE! Someone take that weird Mosaku video and put “Is It McCaining With You” to it!

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  • 15 Mike on Apr 21, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    Bill, I see your “Moskau” and raise you “Fart in the Duck:”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRUGGy9RVrM

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    Reply from MSTJedi on April 22, 2008:

    Funny, but he seems to be reaching for the lyrics a little more in that one.

  • 16 Brian O. on Apr 21, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    So THAT’S what the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers do on their off seasons!

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  • 17 ShutterBun on Apr 21, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    Bufalax seems to have been “inspired” by a video at our very own cuts.com that won last year’s contest.

    (even going so far as to use the same Indian music video)

    Unfortunately the video seems to have been deleted from cuts.com but it still holds the all time “most viewed” distinction.

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  • 18 andrew t. on Apr 21, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Would it be completely obvious to insert a “Do Not Want!!!!” here?

    And that Kikkoman ad is is a true speedball of lunacy. The only way I could come down from it is by watching all 4 minutes of this Maharishi Vedic Organic Honey ad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Q7ffGdfbqs) repeatedly.

    A different, more peacefully annoying plane of WTF-ery.

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  • 19 gojikranz on Apr 21, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    i love that video i must have watched it about a hundred times since i first saw it 3 years ago, but ive never seen those nifty translations. you all need to see the other great performances by dschinghis khan like the rockin son of dschinghis khan and and the title song dschinghis khan.

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  • 20 JackTheRIFFER on Apr 22, 2008 at 7:25 am

    Where exactly can I “get my hanss on” a brand spankin’ new hymen? I’ve been in the market for one, but they are hard to find.

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  • 21 euphoriafish on Apr 23, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Sigh. Now I’m not going to be happy until I can translate all of the Japanese one. For reference, the part where the cat is frolicking through a field of buttercups is saying “watashya haru desu” which I think means “I am Spring!!!”

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