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Teen Repellent

April 24th, 2008 by · 45 Comments

RiffTrax World Headquarters remain entirely teen-free thanks to the hundreds of “mosquito noise” teen repellers that I ordered my 2nd day on the job here.

teen repellent

I love them almost unconditionally. What stops me just short is that because I am now and have always been fastidious about protecting my hearing, the noise they put out is audible to me as well. Consequently, I am forced to sprint to my car, hands over my ears. I am told the ability to hear this frequency is very rare for people over 30. Download the MP3 on this page and find out if all the cranking of the Linkin Parkses that you kids do has felled the cilia in your ears like helpless saplings.


Or try these, with the caveat that your speakers and headphones are almost assuredly incapable of playing the highest tones. (If you’re especially geeky, as I am, you can see that this frequency response graph (measured in an anechoic chamber using a 1/18th octave analyzer) for some of the finest engineered speakers made, falls off considerably at the highest frequency.

**UPDATED UPDATE From Kevin Murphy

If you want a really effective audio weapon in your arsenal, try an extremely low tone, around 30 Hz, looped through a nice bass speaker or subwoofer. Not only will it emotionally scar anyone under twenty, it will also shake every screw in your house loose.

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