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CERN, God’s Domain, and the tampering therein

April 28th, 2008 by · 31 Comments


The European Organization for Nuclear Research (a.k.a. CERN – the Europeans are no better at acronyms than they are at, say, playing baseball or designing electrical outlets) is getting closer to their goal of tampering with the very structure of the universe using their shiny new Large Hadron Collider (no acronym as of yet, so I would like to propose “NiRK”). As you’ve no doubt heard, they are champing at the bit to create their own black holes, which, they assure a somewhat nervous public, probably won’t swallow all of earth, at least not right away. Besides, if there are any “events” their crack safety officer is standing by.


Still, CERN was worried enough that they commissioned the anonymous Safety Assessment Group, one of whose members told the NY Times, he “thinks there are no problems,” but then added, “the Large Hadron Collider might make dragons that might eat us up.” (Great, so one of the guys who gets to decide whether all of humanity will be turned into mass of strangelets is a sarcastic ass.)

Now, I am not a fan of hysteria, and have yet to subscribe to any of the hundreds of popular doomsday panics that have come and gone since my birth. But I’m looking to get into the game. My question is, should I go with this one? It’s got a cool video:

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