Why is record producer Rick Rubin not competing professionally, beard-wise?
Rick, you could be a superstar! Really, what does Sweden’s own Gunnar Rosenquist have that you don’t? Besides an easily-purchased gnome hat?
And Gunnar never even worked with the Beastie Boys.
Let me help you, Rick. You have greatness in you. (Or on you. Something.)
12 responses so far ↓
1 R.A. Roth on May 7, 2008 at 9:59 am
Maybe he isn’t even aware that he has a beard. Maybe it’s an alien being shaped like a beard that has attached itself to Rick and told him not to acknowledge its presence. Maybe I watch too many bad movies with similar plots. Maybe there is a beard like this attached to ME! (looks in mirror at full beard) Nope, not a hair on my chin. Wonder what I was thinking??
Person Without a Beard Creature, Repeat, Without a Beard Creature Nesting on His Face
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Reply from Bill Corbett on May 7, 2008:
On a whole different topic…
Do you have a Beard Creature nesting on your face? Just curious.
Reply from R.A. Roth on May 7, 2008:
No, not a one.
Person Who Still Denies That He Has a Beard Creature Living on His Face
2 Casey on May 7, 2008 at 10:44 am
Both of those men are putting themselves at risk of catching beard dobbers.
They are a wasp-like creature that find a grotesque beard an ideal nesting environment. I do think some companies make a shampoo to prevent such an infestation though.
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3 Kingtos on May 7, 2008 at 11:02 am
It’s commonly known in the music industry that Neil Diamond is terrified of gnomes, trolls, dwarves and tree wizards.
If he had gone that extra mile, Rick would have never had the opportunity to produce Neil’s last two albums–or if he had, they would’ve never been able to meet in person, and Neil’s people would’ve had to hide all evidence of what Mr. Rubin looked like.
Just an F.Y.I.
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4 Mr. Slick on May 7, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Maybe he didn’t compete because they have rules about whats aloud & whats not aloud to nest in ones beard? He looks like he has a colony of spiders in his… if we’re lucky.
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Reply from Casey on May 7, 2008:
I am sure there is a mandatory fumigation.
5 Au$10 on May 7, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Maybe he’s too busy also wasting his massive music talent/cool factor by being one of the many cogs in the major label machine that’s ALSO busy crashing and burning horrifically into a deep, dark sea of irrelevance.
*looks around at empty room*
Shit, did I ruin the party? Sorry, dudes…
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Reply from Bill Corbett on May 7, 2008:
*looks around at empty room*
Shit, did I ruin the party? Sorry, dudes…”
Not at all. Your aim is true.
(Hi, Austin!)
6 MikeP on May 7, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I can’t think of Rick Rubin without thinking of sandwiches, for some strange reason. In some cultures, that in itself would make him a hero.
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Reply from Amanda on May 8, 2008:
A hero sandwich?
7 JoshWay on May 8, 2008 at 9:17 am
Perhaps Rick doesn’t want to go pro and lose the extreme personal satisfaction one gets from freelance bearding.
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