14 responses so far ↓

• 1 The Cutter on May 9, 2008 at 9:31 am

  Lionel Davis – Candypants. Rhythm and Soul on Cable Access Baby!

• 2 Tv Miller on May 9, 2008 at 9:43 am

  He’d eat the seat?! Is there a caloric fat content? I mean, how much information can I obtain before I devour this unpackaged candy pant?

  He is right though, one would be ’soberiatized’ if they realized they were eating the seat.

  Candy Pants, available at all Walgreens, Ace Hardwares and Circle Ks. Candy Pants now comes in new flavours like Natalie Portman’s seat and Bernadette Peters’ seat. Joey Candy Pants may contain nuts.

• 3 Katiespana on May 9, 2008 at 9:54 am

  Candy Pants, let’s climb the ladder of romance… it’s just so… beautiful. Why can’t I find a guy to write such soulful, romantic poetry about me? I mean, what’s a girl gotta do?

• 4 Rob T Firefly on May 9, 2008 at 9:59 am

  Upon reading the subject line, I was deeply afraid that Bikini Gallagher was back for more.

• 5 Neb on May 9, 2008 at 10:11 am

  You know, call me crazy, but when somebody makes me want to “claw the wallpaper off the wall” it’s usually not a good thing.

  Ewwww: this is just one long, set-to-music version of a wolf whistle. Only worse. When was this recorded? It has to be the 80s, one of our many decades of shame. *sigh*

• 6 benedetta on May 9, 2008 at 11:21 am

  candy pants is alright but big breast obsessed is what really turns me on
  http://cdbaby.com/cd/lioneldavis

• 7 Courtney on May 9, 2008 at 11:22 am

  *fans self* All this AND a keyboard scarf? Is he single?

• 8 Rubicon on May 9, 2008 at 11:31 am

  The Good Reverend combined the musical stylings of latter-day Sammy Davis Jr. with the refined romanticism of R. Kelly. I wish he hadn’t.

  I agree with Miller above, I found the repeated threats of “seat eating” particularly troubling. That is not the part of the Candy Pants I would start with were I making a meal out of it.

• 9 Stacia on May 9, 2008 at 11:44 am

  I agree, Rubicon. Everyone knows the pant cuffs are where it’s at.

• 10 Onil on May 9, 2008 at 12:44 pm

  Too bad this guy never had an argument about money with Marvin Gaye’s dad.

• 11 Kingtos on May 9, 2008 at 12:53 pm

  What a poet! This guy really could’ve given Oran “Juice” Jones a run for his money back in his heyday(and it’s still in dispute whether or not it was a whole twenty-four hours)!

• 12 Cap on May 9, 2008 at 1:35 pm

  I think another song of his, entitled “Big Breast Obsessed”, has more mass appeal than “Candy Pants” in the modern age, but whichever you prefer you can be sure his music will bring da suga from miles around. Of course, none of this is guaranteed unless you play the songs at full volume on a ghetto blaster as you wander through the nearest town. Try it, you’ll be fighting the talent off with a stick before you know it.

• 13 ms chii on May 9, 2008 at 1:39 pm

  trunks are the ones that float. much better than speedos or a banana hammock. (eew!)

• 14 Deldobuss on May 15, 2008 at 6:45 pm

  Candy the dancer sure has some moves.

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