No, it’s not the entrance to a Dilithium crystal mine on Rura Penthe. This brand new tourist mecca is the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. Located on the remote island of Spitzbergen, a mere 600 miles from the North Pole, the seed bank is a giant hole bored 500 feet down into a permafrosted mountain-side. The goal of the project is to store every type of seed known to man in case of a doomsday scenario, natural disaster or just in case a really rich duck wants to swim in seeds instead of money for once.
Once the seeds arrive from all over the world, they are put into suspended animation by lowering their temperature to below 20 degrees. They have reportedly had to beat off North Dakotans with sticks who are trying to get in in order to warm up.
The structure is designed to withstand a nuclear attack, and there is not one single person on the entire planet who has the all the codes necessary to access the vault. It’s quite literally one of those structures where you and another guy need to turn their key at the same time to get in. But once you do, what a sight!
All that’s missing is endless scrawling of “All Seeds and No Play make Sven a dull boy” on the walls!
Snoop Dogg, when asked his opinion on the Seed Bank, firmly reiterated his “No stems, no seeds” stance, but acknowledged that others who might not be able to afford the absolute stickiest of the icky-icky would appreciate the efforts.
I question that if the same scheme were to occur, but instead of seeds, some maniacs bored deep into the hole of a mountain outside the north pole to store one of every animal species in a nuclear proof containment vessel, it might not be seen as such a benign idea.
So the next time you’re in the North Pole/Spitzbergen general area, stop by the Seed Bank and check out their collection of heirloom wheat seeds. And by “check out” i mean observe the label on the secured box from a distance of several feet while shivering uncontrollably. Bring the whole family!
More information and photos can be found here
9 responses so far ↓
1 Tim on May 20, 2008 at 12:36 pm
So they’re now storing seeds in the abandoned Rebel base on Hoth?
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2 Neb on May 20, 2008 at 1:08 pm
They won’t need to store dandelion, pig week, yellow dock, stinky robert, and thistle seeds, because, like cockroaches, these seeds will most likely survive the nuclear holocaust. Like vampires, they just keep coming up, year after year, no matter how I try to combat them…only vampires are easier to eradicate.
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3 Courtney on May 20, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Screw Comic Con. I’m going to the seed vault.
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4 RemmieBarrow on May 20, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I hate to imagine the kind of people who want to live and work in that kind of place.
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5 Barry on May 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I hate it when I get Svalbard on my Spitzbergen!
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6 Rob T Firefly on May 21, 2008 at 5:39 am
Vegetables vill be bred und SCHLAUGGGHTERED!
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Reply from Amanda on May 22, 2008:
o/ We’ll eat again — Don’t know where, don’t know when — But I know we’ll eat again some sunny day…o/
Couldn’t resist.
7 Onil on May 21, 2008 at 7:01 am
If they ever decide to hold tours of the place, they need to show a thirty video beforehand describing their massive filing/cataloging system.
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8 Amanda on May 22, 2008 at 3:21 am
Of course, some of the people who have some of the code to get in are sure to be killed in the holocaust rendering the entire idea useless.
“Food? Sure we got it. Safe? Oh, it’s safe. No, we can’t get to it.” It’s like a Twilight Zone episode come to life.
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