Oh, it’s true. Every word of it.
Former chess champion Gary Kasparov, now involved in Russian politics, was interrupted during a speech the other day by a heli-penis.
Since there is naughty imagery (tee hee!), this goes under the cut…out of respect for those not inclined to start their day with a wang on the wing.
Here’s a picture of the gravity-defying gherkin:
And a video of this same soaring schlong:
Highlight: when Kasparov’s young bodyguard jumps up and swats the John Thomas out of the air. Denied, dick!
This prank is similar to one perpetrated virtually not long ago, in Second Life. But if you want that story, you have to pay me 700 trillion Linden dollars. (And no, I won’t link to Second Life, since I’m scared we’ll then be invaded by all sorts of flying naked people and their flying parts, attached and otherwise.)
39 responses so far ↓
1 Onil on May 21, 2008 at 6:56 am
European porn is so weird.
2 Mr. Slick on May 21, 2008 at 6:57 am
I always wondered where Bill Clinton’s went, I guess it’s doing a world tour.
3 BabyGia on May 21, 2008 at 7:01 am
Spurtnic?
4 Courtney on May 21, 2008 at 7:24 am
In the picture, it just looks like a really awesome hat. And the wearer is disgusted by it. Awesome.
5 Casey on May 21, 2008 at 7:25 am
Oh my God.
When such bizarre things happen to people… There will never be any other subject of conversation when guests are visiting. … Its especially bad for the brave fellow who risked his fingers to slap down the thing. I am sure he will get a special medal for it.
6 Bill Corbett on May 21, 2008 at 7:30 am
“Well… lost the bet, so gotta wear this tallywhacker on my head all day. But I don’t have to LIKE it.”
7 Rob T Firefly on May 21, 2008 at 8:07 am
Kasparov immediately offered the heli-wang a draw.
8 Lemslaw on May 21, 2008 at 8:37 am
Ross Hagen was just testing out a prop for the sequel to a movie he wrote.
9 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on May 21, 2008 at 8:38 am
It’s amazing that Molotov cocktail could overcome projectile dysfunction while carrying such a large Cossack.
10 Hugh on May 21, 2008 at 8:51 am
I’d love to hear what Gary had to say after the intrusion. Witty comeback? Clever pun? Pseudo-filthy chess joke?
There’s also a stunning lack of the word “helicockter” in this post.
11 Bill Corbett on May 21, 2008 at 9:04 am
I expected it would be something like Kasparov shaking his fist at the heavens, shouting “Dammmmnnn youuuu, Deeeep Bluuue!”
But he actually did manage a witty-ish comeback. From this article:
“Footage of the device before it gets knocked out of the air by a security guard leads us to believe that some pranksters (identified by the Moscow Times as “a couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists”) took a—ahem—prosthetic marital aid and mounted it onto the frame of a twin-gyro toy helicopter.
Kasparov apparently laughed off the disruption, slyly calling the attack, “below the belt.” ”
Oh, and…
“There’s also a stunning lack of the word “helicockter” in this post.”
The management sincerely apologizes for this oversight.
12 ms chii on May 21, 2008 at 9:13 am
*RALPH* no thanks. the things men do…
13 Courtney on May 21, 2008 at 9:16 am
Helicockter. Heheheh, that makes my inner 12 year old laugh. (okay, it’s not so inner.) More like LOLicockter.
Sorry, I’ve been doing that all day. I don’t know how to stop.
14 Drew on May 21, 2008 at 9:26 am
If only this technology was available back in the day of Lorena Bobbitt…
15 zoidberg on May 21, 2008 at 9:27 am
It’s weird that even in spite of it’s short lifespan it still lasted longer than the typical Black Hawk or Apache helicopter. Boeing might want to get on this. There might be something to cockcopter dynamics.
16 Doug on May 21, 2008 at 9:56 am
Admittedly this is still about 4 grade levels higher in maturity than the current democratic nomination season.
17 Tim D on May 21, 2008 at 11:24 am
BOEING! HAR!
18 Ben on May 21, 2008 at 11:35 am
Genius! Not the helicocker…the sperm that managed to fashion a motor and blade assembly and escape from its human’s crotch.
That is one smart egg, er-sperm.
19 Ben on May 21, 2008 at 11:36 am
lol. Yes, it is.
20 Ben on May 21, 2008 at 11:37 am
You know in the old days that that photo would have made the front page of Pravda.
21 Ben on May 21, 2008 at 11:38 am
“Helicockter”…”inner 12 year old”…I know there is a Michael Jackson joke in there somewhere, but I am repressing it…
22 Neb on May 21, 2008 at 11:55 am
Hey….I’m a Second Lifer! Thankfully, I stay hidden away in some pretty tame virtual Victorian/Steampunk places and so thankfully miss out on all of the weird “adult” stuff that passes for virtual culture in SL-at-large. In fact, rampaging, er, male genitalia have been officially and expressly forbidden in the town (sim) of Steelhead (1880s-ish Pacific NW place), where I homestead. This fact is, Beavis & Butthead-like, brought to our attention every Tuesday night at the weekly town meeting, when we are reminded to keep things polite in public.
Somehow I don’t think this approach would work in World of Warcraft.
23 Adam on May 21, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Two things:
1. The craftsmanship on that device (the Buffalo Ship?) is fantastic. Think of the time and dedication it took.
2. I don’t know what Linden dollars are (I assume it’s some sort of Second Life nerdiness that regular people with just the one life don’t understand), but there’s a Linden Diner in Lancaster, PA that I’d be glad to have some dollars for…
24 wurwolf on May 21, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Oh, yes indeed. Their sweet potato fries are divine.
25 zoidberg on May 21, 2008 at 12:21 pm
You know, you wouldn’t think Peter Parker down at the bottom would get such a kick out of the peniscopter, but he does. He really seems to like it.
Fred Tompson behind him isn’t even looking it. He seems to be wondering why 1980’s Paul Riser is there. Martin Landau and Chirs Elliot look like they’re just struggling to get shots.
26 Roper on May 21, 2008 at 12:34 pm
The guy on the right looks sorta wistful, as he’s eyeing the whirlybird.
27 Lavaughn on May 21, 2008 at 1:30 pm
That’s not tru-hell, yes it is.
What would be the name of this chess defense? Something “bishop” related?
28 Kyle on May 21, 2008 at 1:52 pm
I can’t believe no one has said “I wonder if Kasparov would beat it in a chess match.”
It’s just such an easy joke to make.
29 RemmieBarrow on May 21, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Either that or envious.
30 Attaturk on May 21, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Oh lord.
I have a feeling, we’re going to see flying junk at some Obama & McCain events this year.
As opposed to the metaphorical dicks I see talking about Obama and McCain on the tee vee.
Okay, it’s 3 a.m. who do you trust to handle flying junk?
…maybe I should rephrase that last question?
31 Hugh on May 21, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Oh, good show, Gary. You’ve just won my illegal vote!
Courtney, please, let that inner/outer 12-year-old run free. If you don’t, they’ll only throw juice and Pokemon all over the place.
32 Courtney on May 21, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Nah, my inner twelve year old’s too mature for that. It’s Full House and Saved By The Bell for her.
33 Onil on May 21, 2008 at 7:23 pm
A helicockter is all good and well but when are we going to get our personal jetpacks like The Cocketeer.
34 Courtney on May 21, 2008 at 7:43 pm
You guys are getting awfully cocky with your puns and wordplay.
35 Bill Corbett on May 22, 2008 at 5:00 am
“Okay, it’s 3 a.m. who do you trust to handle flying junk?”
Bring back Jeff Gannon!
36 Brian O. on May 22, 2008 at 9:41 am
That’s okay, we can defeat them with our rolling donut technology!
37 euphoriafish on May 23, 2008 at 12:01 am
I read about this on Waxy earlier. That video is indeed hilarious.
I also hang out on Second Life occasionally, though I too mostly go to the Victorian/steampunk places and stay out of flying penis territory. The silliest experience I had was whale watching at the Star Trek museum.
38 MonkeyCheezPants on May 23, 2008 at 10:23 am
To quote the best line in a trailer EVER:
“There’s TWO of them!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN8SVAcdw6I&feature=related
39 MonkeyCheezPants on May 23, 2008 at 10:27 am
And, with the requisite soundtrack.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tuYe4yXN9EU&feature=related
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