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Go, Indy

May 22nd, 2008 by Mike Nelson · 18 Comments

mabel johnsonHistory abounds with fascinating examples of old people doing extraordinary things. There’s Buckminster Fuller. Who did something. When he was old, I think. Then there’s the singular case of Mabel Johnson who kept a coffee coupon in her squeezie coin purse for more than a decade before losing it somewhere on her way to an Old Country Buffet while listening to Paul Harvey. Other examples are admittedly harder to come by.

Being a rapidly aging person myself I tend to cheer for the elderly (though would it kill you to disengage the turn signal, you old bat? And Gramps – get the hats out of the back window of your car. Unless you got a license to run a haberdashery out of your ‘92 Caprice.*) Which is why, despite our jabs at him (here, here, and here) I am rooting for Harrison Ford (though his crystal skull can go straight to hell. I never liked you, crystal skull.)

As for Sharpie LaBeef, I’m still mad about Transformers.

RaidersWebAnd if you come home from the show this weekend feeling nostalgic (don’t even pretend you’re not going to see it) take a look at our stab at the original.

*Parenthetical guest written by Don Rickles.

Tags: RiffTrax

18 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Hugh on May 22, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Shemia LeBoo will never be forgiven for Transformers.

  • 2 Melman on May 22, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    I am genuinely not going to go watch Crystal Skull. I have absolutely no interest in seeing it.

  • 3 Darth Chimay on May 22, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Let us glorify the achievements of the elderly! For instance, who can forget when the quicker-picker-upper herself, Nancy Walker, overcame great adversity and brought to the screen one of most beloved and important stories of our times, the autobiography of America’s favorite gay Indian, Can’t Stop the Music.

  • 4 Courtney on May 22, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    Shy LaBeowulf will come after you in the night. He does that. Seriously. There’s a body count.

    Crystal Skull was going to be my stage name when I finally started performing my death metal covers of Crystal Gayle songs. Just saying.

  • 5 Queen Bee on May 22, 2008 at 5:56 pm

    “Indiana Jones Smuggles Home a Whole Bunch of Jelly Packets and Little Pats of Butter From the Early Bird Special” is getting overthrown in my house for “Prince Caspian.” Whose hair is only slightly less upsetting than Sharpie’s.

  • 6 Gary Glover on May 22, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    Mike, check this out if you don’t like the crystal skull- ti might be an improvement!!
    Indiana Jones and the Batch of the Crystal Riff
    http://gallery.mac.com/askbotboy#100041

  • 7 Ryan on May 22, 2008 at 7:26 pm

    I feel so sorry for you Queen Bee. Prince Caspien was terrible!

  • 8 Take5 on May 22, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    I saw the new one today. I’m….I’m not the same after it. I think my IQ has dropped by about 378 points. It was like National Treasure 2 wasn’t satisfied with taking 2 1/2 hours of my life and came back for more.

  • 9 Ben on May 23, 2008 at 7:18 am

    The Transformers will never be forgiven for the Transformers.

  • 10 Ben on May 23, 2008 at 7:21 am

    I dunno about this movie. Middle-aged Indy fighting Nazis was always good for a waste of time…but elderly, incontinent Indy fighting Cate the Commie doesn’t sound all that interesting. I also heard that Karen Allen is starting to look like James Carville with hair now, so…

  • 11 Mike Nelson on May 23, 2008 at 8:20 am

    Hey, Gary

    Very nice! You’re a wizard. (At least your pointy hat implies that…)

  • 12 Hugh on May 23, 2008 at 9:56 am

    Don’t blame them. Cybertronians gots t’ pay the bills.

  • 13 R.A. Roth on May 23, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Schmoo LaBorg’s worthy performances in Disturbia and The Battle of Shaker Heights shall always be overshadowed by his Transformers capitulation. Giant robots that can change into cars sounds like cinematic magic until you see the finished product: giant robots that can change into cars plus a lot of people staring up in awe or running.

    Randy

  • 14 Gary Glover on May 23, 2008 at 10:49 am

    Thank you Mike for the kind words. Although,as far as a wizard….. I’m not wearing a hat.

  • 15 AmandaGal on May 23, 2008 at 2:36 pm

    I hate to admit it, but I find Harrison Ford sexier, at what 92?, than most men my age (late 20s)…so woo to the older men.

    He is showing his age a bit in the new Indy flick, but still quite a bit sexier than the much younger beef boy.

  • 16 Orangecrusher on May 24, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    Did anyone notice that Lucas stole the Puma Man back story for the Indiana Jones movie? He just used better graphics and only had slightly fewer physics defying scenes. At least he already had a score done so he didn’t have to steal that too.

  • 17 Todd on May 27, 2008 at 1:49 am

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m waiting for Indiana Jones and the Secret of Curly’s Gold.

  • 18 DFD on Jul 12, 2008 at 6:32 pm

    I thought the same thing as I was watching it, “Geez, this like Pumaman except with a bigger budget”