This morning I watched, as I do most mornings, a youtube video of a chimpanzee racing a Navy Seal through an obstacle course. The Seal won. Now you’d think that if there’s one thing that could bring people together, to get them to embrace one another as brother and sister, it would be the sight of a monkey running an obstacle course and losing. (It certainly made me love my fellow man.) But this is the internet. Even this simple video unleashed a torrent of white hot anger, rage, hate, spittle, vomit, ear wax, death threats, and bone shattering stupidity in the form of, literally, thousands of viewer comments.
So here is my challenge: below is the most innocuous video I could come up with. It is my firm belief that it is not possible for any human being to make stupider comments than those that accompanied the chimp video. FIND A WAY! GO!
Extra points for creative misspellings, bizarre non sequiturs, and of course harsh and pointed criticisms of the other commenters (though unlike the youtube folks, it’d be great if you could keep it clean, please.)