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Think of your life as vintage wine…

May 31st, 2008 by Bill Corbett · 25 Comments

…from fine old kegs. From the brim to the –

Well, this modest young fellow explains it better than I ever could:

Two thoughts:

1) Yes, it’s disappointing that Shatner doesn’t split into his variously-aged incarnations by the last verse, and have ‘em sing it all together. Why tamper with a successful formula?

shatner

2) If you want to observe a Shatnerian cargo cult performing a native ritual, we got you covered HERE.

3) I said two thoughts. Why did you follow me here?

gremlin

It just gives me a headache, is all.

Tags: RiffTrax

25 responses so far ↓

  • 1 R.A. Roth on Jun 1, 2008 at 2:45 am

    Oh, Lord of all that is right and noble in my tiny little slice of reality, this man even overacts the moments building up to a cacophonous warbling delivery of a song intro!

    He…must…be…stopped!

    Ran…dy

  • 2 mrbasehart on Jun 1, 2008 at 5:50 am

    What’s with the Jack Palance impression at 17 and the Marlon Brando impression at 21?

  • 3 Dan Noutko-Kennedy on Jun 1, 2008 at 5:53 am

    After so many years of scenery chewing this once corseted diva is now a plump half-baked ham garnished with a Tribble pelt. And please Bill, don’t ever make me choose between the smirking “I nailed your sister” Shatner and the Sybilesque Shatner who channels Sammy Davis, Jr. and Tony Clifton.

  • 4 Ryan on Jun 1, 2008 at 7:51 am

    I still do not understand why Shatner is still famous. He should be on “Where Are They Now” flipping burgers in Nebraska.

  • 5 RemmieBarrow on Jun 1, 2008 at 8:03 am

    I guess all that money Priceline gives him for being thier spokesman has stopped his singing career, and that is a good thing.

  • 6 Hugh on Jun 1, 2008 at 8:24 am

    The man is a genius. I’m not even kidding. Bask in it, people. Don’t question it, just bask.

  • 7 Guin on Jun 1, 2008 at 8:56 am

    About three seconds of bask is about all humanity is able to handle.

  • 8 MonkeyCheezPants on Jun 1, 2008 at 9:18 am

    I love Shatner. I have both his albums, and a bootleg of the finest film ever made in Esperanto, that was transferred directly from the celluloid.

    Bill, I like your idea of editing together the Shatners. He should re-do the song today and edit it with the classic version. How sweet would that be?

    I lived in Manhattan when Star Trek: First Contact came out, and since I lived across the street from a movie theater, I’d often catch matinees on the opening day. For First Contact, it happened to be the earliest showing anywhere in Manhattan, so there was a line that I geeked out and joined. New York Trekkies are a breed apart, and I was treated to the following conversation between two portly, mustachioed Italian gentlemen wearing Yankees jackets:

    #1: Hey, you read that Trek book that Shatnah wrote?
    #2: Yeah, it was okay, but it was pure Shatnah.
    #1: Whaddya mean?
    #2: It was like, he kicks some ass, gets the girl, ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing, Shatnah.

    I could not make that up. I’m not that clever. To this day, that is one of my most vivid memories of my life. I still am wont to use the phrase ” ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing, Shatnah” even if no one else understands it but me.

  • 9 Ben on Jun 1, 2008 at 9:47 am

    Kirk was a hero, but Shatner is such a scumbag. I met him once when he was poor and still having to live off Star Trek-related appearances in the mid 70s. He really treated the show’s fans like dirt. Shatner never made eye contact and honored his appearance contracts to the letter–he walked by you once as fast as he could and got out of there.

  • 10 ms chii on Jun 1, 2008 at 10:33 am

    never liked him. egotistical, laides man, and aging playah. must be that look. i prefer gentleman to him-sean connery for one! and gregory peck for another….

  • 11 suzanne on Jun 1, 2008 at 10:35 am

    One of my favorite Twilight Zone episodes ever.

    I’m referring to the YouTube clip of course.

  • 12 Kelly on Jun 1, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Wow. That is so bad, it travels around and arrives all the way back at awesome. Or is it the other way around?

    It was done in an ironic way, right? He couldn’t have been serious back then, could he?

    In my heart, I know back then he was serious. Wow.

  • 13 Lavaughn on Jun 1, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Shatner succeeds because he appears to wholeheartedly believe in his own talent. It’s stupifying. He has said before that he believes he’s “failure-proof” and I believe him. It always seems to work out for him. If you placed a banana peel in front of him, he would fall and his head would strike oil.

  • 14 Jacob_Taylor on Jun 2, 2008 at 3:50 am

    I didn’t know William Shatner was a rapper

  • 15 Amanda on Jun 2, 2008 at 5:04 am

    “When I was 17 it was a very good year. A very good year for the small town girls.” Do you know how creepy that is to hear him sing/say/emote? I think it’s the smirk that constantly is on his face that sends the piece over the top. Like if he was on ‘Dateline-To Catch a Predator’ he would have that same smirk. “Oh (heh heh!)… it’s been….a…. very good year! (predatory smile) A … very …. good year… for all…. the… small town girls!” :o

  • 16 Tork_110 on Jun 2, 2008 at 6:25 am

    He looks like Jerry Lewis in the last picture.

  • 17 Neb on Jun 2, 2008 at 11:26 am

    What a pithy summary. Thanks for sharing your eavesdropping adventure!

  • 18 norgavue on Jun 2, 2008 at 11:53 am

    I feel complete now!

  • 19 washington on Jun 2, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Finest death scene ever put to film:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y-YR4E3P6E

  • 20 Ariel on Jun 2, 2008 at 12:52 pm

    I have to go bleach my brain now.
    Thanks.

  • 21 Tim S. Turner on Jun 2, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Holy shit. I think I may have wet myself laughing at that. That kind of ham is absolute GOLD!

  • 22 Heather on Jun 2, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    Thanks ever so very much, Bill. Now I’m going to have nightmares about that effeminate voice and creepy leering mug of his.

    Anyway, everyone knows that the best year was when I was the square root of a negative number. It was a very good year for dodecahedrons in a state of quantum uncertainty.

  • 23 suzanne on Jun 3, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    i read this comment, and there was a moment yesterday where i was tempted to also say, badaboom, badabing, shatnah.

    for no reason.

    i suggest this should be the catchphrase of the century.

  • 24 Russ Rogers on Jun 3, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    “Has Been” is a GREAT album. No kidding. No lie. OK, maybe not “Dark Side of the Moon”-GREAT. But still, great. Ben Folds, Henry Rollins, Joe Jackson and Brad Paisley think so too!

    http://www.amazon.com/Has-Been-William-Shatner/dp/B0002RUPH4/

  • 25 Starship Bill « deep ape on Jun 3, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    [...] If you need even more Bill, he also appeared on a radio show with the guys from Satellite News, a couple of weeks ago. The show is hosted by Rifftrax community member Mary Beth Ellis and you can download or stream it on this page (it’s the May 20th show). Also, this. [...]