Recently I commissioned my niece Laurel to comb the airwaves for the very worst in popular song, what Lucille Ball might call “poopular.” Laurel is exceedingly qualified for her task, being a young college student who commutes to school and work and listens to local radio stations offering Solid Rock, Real Country, and Hot Grooves . She is indiscriminate in her search, crossing all genres and styles, searching the past and present of poopular music. Laurel instantly remembers lyrics, which is of course a curse. Each week until her ears start bleeding, Laurel will send me a nomination for Bad Song of the Week, which I will post here. I invite you all to do the same.
THIS WEEK: Trace Adkins – Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
Trace Adkins: Celebrity Apprentice finalist and legendary barroom fighter. A large, thick, angry looking man, who comes complete with knife and bullet wounds, and who could reduce me to a bloody pile of tissue with a swing of his hat. Trace’s 2005 chart-topper congeals country and hip-hop into a line-danceable tribute to the buttocks of women who are neither his wife nor girlfriend. It seems that between getting shot at and slapping his grandma, Mr, Adkins just can’t resist buttock. Indeed his career, his aspirations, his philosophic entire are based solely on the getting of badonkadonk. And like the best of bad songs, it refuses to leave the airwaves.