Kudos to Bill for trying to keep this blog on track. I want to supplement his list with a new feature: constant updates on the state of Tom Arnold’s hair.
My plan is not to give updates on the state of Tom Arnold’s hair every now and again, or even once a day, but hourly. The state of Tom Arnold’s hair is in constant flux, ever changing. We can’t afford to rely on hearsay and intermittent reports.
Before I begin devoting myself to this, what I think is a very important task, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t misreading the visitors to this blog. You do want this, right? You do want this blog to focus very, very heavily on the state of Tom Arnold’s hair, yes? (I’m confident I’ve hit the bull’s eye with this one, but I just wanted to do due diligence.)
27 responses so far ↓
1 Courtney on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:04 pm
His hair’s not looking entirely unlike Encino Man’s current coif.
http://www.fresnobeehive.com/archives/upload/2007/05/brendanhair2.jpg
As for that second picture, well Mike you should be ashamed of yourself. That said, the pounds I will lose from never eating again will finally give me that heroin chic terrifying thin-ness that Hollywood loves so! Thanks!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Hugh on June 5, 2008:
Which one is more kissable? I’m undecided.
Reply from suzanne on June 5, 2008:
What’s a nice girl like you living in Chicago doing with photos sullied by Fresno servers? Our smog has found a way to convert itself into ones and zeroes, so you should probably open your windows if you want to breathe.
(No seriously… Fresno Beehive? You seriously follow the Fresno Beehive?)
Reply from Courtney on June 5, 2008:
Ha, no, I just googled “brendan fraser +hair” and that was the first pic that popped up.
2 suzanne on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:05 pm
I am intensely, avidly, passionately interested in Tom Arnold’s hair, as long as it becomes engraved on a state quarter somewhere, Conor.
[Reply to this]
3 Barry on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I’m going to say that yes, we do want hourly coverage of Tom Arnold’s hair, but only because we don’t think you’ll last a day contending with his locks of chaos.
The gauntlet has been thrown, sir!
[Reply to this]
4 Bill Corbett on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:36 pm
OK Nelson —
TWO and a HALF hours since this was posted, and NO update on Tom Arnold’s hair YET?! I am literally DYING for fresh information, here.
&$%@(^@#!%*+* you, man!!!!!!!!! You never intended to give us those updates, did you? I said DID YOU!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!
(sobs, runs away)
[Reply to this]
5 Mike Nelson on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Bill, Bill, calm down! Our time stamps are from different time zones. What you see is the very freshest information available. I’m working frantically, calling in every favor I have out there, to get the next update prepared.
[Reply to this]
Reply from Bill Corbett on June 5, 2008:
OK…but know that I’m breathing into a brown paper bag, trying to stay calm.
This is on YOUR head if anything goes wrong, Mike.
Reply from Tim D on June 5, 2008:
But you said HOURLY!!!! If you are calling in favors NOW, then you weren’t prepared, were you, Mr. Nelson? Why have you embarked on such an endevour without due diligence!!! For shame!!!!!
6 jfruh on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Hey, hey, we all want updates on Tom Arnold’s hair, but we specifically do NOT want updates on his tattoos. FOCUS, PEOPLE, FOCUS!
[Reply to this]
7 Chris D. on Jun 5, 2008 at 12:40 pm
Forget the state of Tom Arnold’s hair–what we really need to know is the current whereabouts of Paul Reiser!
[Reply to this]
Reply from Tim on June 5, 2008:
The phrase “…the firey, hellish pit from whence he came” comes to mind…
8 Brian T on Jun 5, 2008 at 1:03 pm
You know, I’m pretty sure you could outsource this job to, say, Tom Arnold.
[Reply to this]
9 Tim on Jun 5, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Yeah, let’s stay up to date on Tom’s hair.
We need a news ticker scrolling along the page. “From the RiffTrax News Desk…This just in…Tom Arnold’s hair declared ‘awful’…Congressional Committee called to investigate…”
[Reply to this]
10 ms chii on Jun 5, 2008 at 1:36 pm
how about hair of tom arnold and no hair of joey pants! perhaps a competition of the most outlandish clothes worn?
[Reply to this]
11 RemmieBarrow on Jun 5, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Maybe his hair is trying to burrow into his brain in attempt to prevent him from taking bad roles in the future.
[Reply to this]
12 attaturk on Jun 5, 2008 at 1:50 pm
You know I’m pretty confident that within 10 minutes of proudly displaying his Star of David, Tom Arnold was pounding a rasher of delicious bacon.
[Reply to this]
13 Stacia on Jun 5, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I heard a rumor that Tom Arnold’s hair was once Elvis Costello’s hair. Can someone confirm/deny?
[Reply to this]
Reply from Geena on June 7, 2008:
Actually, his hair was once k.d. lang’s hair (she doesn’t like to talk about it).
14 andrew t. on Jun 5, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Wait…you mean this is his actual hair? That second photo looks like he just got kicked out of a Bono lookalike contest.
Is Tom Arnold buggin’ ya? He doesn’t mean to bug ya!
[Reply to this]
Reply from evilash on June 11, 2008:
Actually, he kinda resembles this parakeet I’ve been seeing at the pet store. He’s got my hair on his chest than the bird’s got feathers.
Reply from evilash on June 11, 2008:
not my hair, more hair
15 Ben on Jun 5, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Will these updates include segments on hair on other parts of Arnold’s body? Inquiring minds want to know what his back hair is up to right now.
[Reply to this]
16 kipsy on Jun 6, 2008 at 10:32 am
If you click on the top picture your screen darkens and Tom seems to emerge from the screen a la Jeff Daniels in Purple Rose, except creepier and chewing gum.
[Reply to this]
17 Spookette on Jun 6, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I can see the top of Tom’s nipple in that last photo. *cries, retches*
[Reply to this]
18 evilash on Jun 11, 2008 at 7:36 am
This is a hellish attempt to wipe out our will to live so that we can be mindless drones willing to do whatever you want, right, Mike? I can’t see it any other way. Otherwise, you would not post a picture of Tom proudly displaying his disgusting, yet impressive, tatooed rack!
[Reply to this]
Leave a Comment