You stepped up, ladies and gentlemen.
You stepped up, planted yourselves at the plate, spat on your hands, took a few practice swings, stepped BACK from the damned plate (as we all checked our watches), stuffed a big gob of Red Man into your cheeks, adjusted your helmet for like another five minutes, then finally stepped up again and looked me in the eye. And what did I throw at you? These two unlikely critters:
Yes, you took on the challenge of pitching me a Harvey Fierstein – Jean Claude Van Damme BUDDY MOVIE, and many of you came up with hilarious ideas.
Others of you are… rather odd people, aren’t you? I’m impressed by the number of you who thought it best to cast Messrs. Fierstein and Van Damme as inanimate objects, particulary food. Still, there was a mad genius afoot in many of your posts… you sick bastards.
The winner is Shamala, for this billion-dollar idea:
“Frank Jumeaux (Jean), a take no prisoners street cop, and Frank Jumelle (Fierstein), owner of a local theater, receive a “mind transplant” during a raid gone wrong. The action/comedy never stops while Frank (Jean in Fierstein’s body) tries to save the theater’s reputation with a new martial arts play, and Frank (Fierstein in Jean’s body) defeats the evil mob boss Targe Leon (Most) who is trying to put the theater out of business!”
Well done. Please claim your free Rifftrax by emailing erik@RIFFTRAX.COM. Subject line (must be EXACT, to the tiniest bit of punctuation and spacing!): “Bill’s Continued Abuse of Erik’s Worktime, um, Contest.”
If you haven’t read through the other proposed movies people dreamed up, give yourself a treat. I guffawed loudly, many times, reading ‘em.
(Honorable mention to Nanobots, who gave me a true belly laugh when I read the following sentence: “In the climatic scene, Van Damme and a 49-pound monkey jump into a star fighter, and fly up to take out the orbiting alien ship.”)
Clever fiends, the lot of you.