Oh sure, I’m bound to this earth by some horrible unfinished business. I’d be the first to admit it.
Whether I was a victim of some grisly crime, or a perpetrator, or both, I couldn’t tell you. Hell, if I had that kind of postmortem self-awareness, I wouldn’t be condemned to walk blindly amongst my fellow spectres of dread and horror.
But other than that… things are going pretty good these days. Most of the time I feel excellent, if not downright giddy. See:
Maybe I’m having such a blast these days because I feel smugly superior to fellow ghost Kevin. He lost over 100 IQ points after death, and now he’s mostly just a big, stumbling bloodstain.
Or perhaps it’s my new rugby shirt. It’s not a style that worked for me in life, with or without being drenched in the blood of many — but now that I’m a grey-complected fellow, it all comes together, somehow. I’m liking the look, and it makes me darned happy.
OR it’s just the great time I’m having these days terrifying the still-alive Mike, by snapping his suspenders and threatening to kick him in the junk. Hilarious stuff!
But I suspect the real reason that La Vida Poltergeist agrees with me so much is that it’s incredibly slimming to be dead.