Right here.
It’s already made me realize a stark truth: I don’t actually DO anything.
Who am I?!!
(jumps out window.)

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Woman discusses her weekend at Jack Nicholson’s birthday bash!

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…Finally admits to being a hobbit.

Rattle, the much admired Artistic Director of the Berliner Philharmoniker had long denied rumors that he was a Shiresman. But when snapped by a Der Spiegel photographer finishing his second pound of mushrooms for elevensies, further protestations were pointless. “My mother was a Brambleburr from Bindale. My father, Togo Rattlebottom, [...]

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Fellow sojourners —
I’ll be here for about an hour, and if possible, I’ll address a few stray Qs later. But at some point, I’ll have to move on…and live! Again!
A few oh-so-humble requests / suggestions:
1) I might have to punt if you ask about individual titles — that is, possible movies to [...]

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Friends:
You came through for me before, when I need a buddy vehicle for Drew Carey and Sir Ian McKellen.
I need your help again. I’ve been offered eight figures* if I find the right buddy movie for these two hot-as-a-pistol-that-shoots-molten-lava-and-Bhut-Jolokia-peppers (whew!) stars:

AND

Yes, the Suits want a Harvey Fierstein – Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, and [...]

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Please, please be careful when walking the streets of Argentina at night, as the “creepy gnome” has not yet been caught.

He has, however, been preliminarily identified as this man, wearing a traffic cone.

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The purpose of this post is gauge interest in planning a day when all those who are wo/man enough acquire and, at roughly the same time, munch down a few bites of the famous Bhut Jolokia pepper – while getting it on video, of course. Like this man, who takes a very sober, Wall Street [...]

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I found these at the airport:

Actually they’re delicious. Best balls I’ve ever tasted. They make a great gift.

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Some of it, anyway.
Actual quote from my sweet, beloved little three year-old daughter, as we took a walk today:
“Daddy, what does “kill” mean?”
Oy.

IN HAPPIER DAYS: back when my child was just a drunk, not a murderer. [NOTE: Not my child, but an incredible simulation.]

Of course, there was some context. As is [...]

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Once again, My niece Laurel has kept me posted on the very worst in popular music. This week:
Jibbs: Chain Hang Low

The term “shawty” takes on a new connotation in this video by a rapper whose name reminds one of a nineteenth-century English butler. As far as I can gather, the song involves [...]

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Before we launch into that classic romantic comedy ALIEN tomorrow, a few more tidbits about X-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE, which you have all seen by now. (Right? Right? OK, just to entice you further, here’s another clip:)

Bits of tid:
1) More states of our union were represented in the writing process than [...]

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Yes, everybody’s second favorite Crime Dog has his own blog! And, in a monumental occasion, he’s blogged on it for the first time in over a year! McGruff last blogged on June 2nd, 2007. In an entry beloved by children and adults alike, entitled “Keep bullies at bay” McGruff instucts us that “Bullies [...]

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RiffTrax got a mention in Roger Ebert’s Answer Man column. Luckily, the context wasn’t his answer to the question, “What website would you most like to see obliterated and expunged from human memory?”

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I am reading a fine and entertaining book by Simon Winchester called The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity, and the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary. Its protagonist (a word, by the way, that makes a memorable appearance in the book) is an American named W.C. Minor, a brilliant and, [...]

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I just wanted to give you a heads-up, OK? It is my intention to Rick Roll you. It should be starting pretty soon.
…Now I know you hippity-hopping, hootenannying kids are saying: “That’s not how it’s done. It’s supposed to be a surprise!”
But I’m in my dotage years now [...]

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