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What is Patriotism?

July 4th, 2008 by Conor Lastowka · 14 Comments offers up an article exploring the question “What is Patriotism?”  Despite the seemingly random timing of such an article, it fits in perfectly with our latest short, “Patriotism.”  CNN provides quotes from a wide variety of anonymous users who provide online names such as Llambo, caligirl and hellcat, who all attempt to define what Bob Crane defined years ago when he narrated the “Patriotism” short:

bob crane

RiffTrax strongly advises against image searching Bob Crane

Patriotism is being proud of whatever you are and whatever you do” says Crane, thereby settling the issue forever.  Do your research, CNN!  Bob Crane has already set this definition in stone: Patriotism = blind, unceasing, narcissistic pride.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be dancing around the room in cowboy boots to Loudon Wainwright III’s “Bicentennial” while eating a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich, very proud of my patriotic acts.  Happy 4th!

Tags: RiffTrax · politics

14 responses so far ↓

  • 1 suzanne on Jul 4, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    The two most partiotic things the Rifftrax bloggers can do:
    1) Post this Sam the Eagle video:

    2) Celebrate each state that make up our great nation AND their corresponding monetary denomination in a total smackdown faceoff of awesomeness. How bout it guys?

  • 2 MikeP on Jul 4, 2008 at 5:27 pm

    RiffTrax strongly advises against image searching Bob Crane

    Why on earth not?

    Oh. Um. Ew.

  • 3 RemmieBarrow on Jul 4, 2008 at 5:55 pm

    I have tried to not think of what happened to Bob Crane for the longest time and now you have brought it up to my mind again. Thank you, Rifftrax.

  • 4 Glyn on Jul 4, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    I was just a little kid!
    I didn’t know I was contributing to the downfall of patriotism every time I bought ice cream from the Good Humor Man (they wore white pants)!
    Please forgive me!
    I’m going to hide in a dark corner now and curl up in the fetal position.
    Thanks a lot!

  • 5 MVP on Jul 4, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    I’m glad you and Bill keep me posted on words and names that I shouldn’t look up.

    So far I’ve got “Innocence” and “Bob Crane.”

    Any other recommendations while my list is out?

  • 6 Scooter on Jul 4, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    “3 cantaloupes and a melon baller” used to come up with a home-made sex toy site on the first results page of google. It appears safe now though

  • 7 R.A. Roth on Jul 5, 2008 at 11:12 am

    I agree with Bob. Patriotism is looking at things. I mean, really looking at them*.

    Won’t you look at them, too? Things, that is.


    * This sentiment was originally penned by a wood duck, a chigger and a Lyme tick.

  • 8 Lord-z on Jul 5, 2008 at 1:21 pm

    There is a certain image, where the title begins with “Goat”. Do not attempt to find out what it is. I only saw it due to some bastard hotwiring links on Wikipedia. And if you do see it, be prepared to try to cut out your eyes with the nearest sharp and/or pointy object. But it won’t work. The horrible image just keeps burning your brain. I don’t want to give you the full title. If you know what I am talking about, you will know why. If you don’t know, I envy you.

  • 9 Glyn on Jul 5, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    In defense of Mr. Crane, porn is as patriotic as two nude chicks in an apple pie fight.
    Mmmmm apple pie!

  • 10 Ben on Jul 5, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    I will celebrate my patriotism Bob Crane style by having myself bludgeoned by a porn movie tripod.

  • 11 MikeP on Jul 5, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    C’mon Lord-z. Happy Goat isn’t that bad.

  • 12 RiffNotes on Jul 8, 2008 at 8:02 am

    True story. Watched this short with my dad. Got to talking about Bob Crane and his “back story”. My dad’s actual, not-made-up-in-any-way request:

    “I’d like to know more about how he died – why don’t you trying Googling ‘Bob Crane’, ‘porn’, ‘death’?”

    Uh huh.

  • 13 Brian O. on Jul 8, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    Patriotism is like rocks! And slightly smaller rocks!

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